Landon’s voice nearly broke him apart. He ran his hand through Landon’s thick, dark hair. Then touched his knee, leaned his forehead on Landon’s shoulder. Landon’s father had left him. Rod’s had hated him. Weren’t they a fucking match made in daddy issues? “You were a kid. You loved him. No one can hold you responsible for that.”
Landon shook his head and sat up straight. “It is what it is. There’s no changing it. But seeing that? Living with the fighting and the back and forth, and knowing their history... That’s why relationships aren’t my thing. You just fuck people up by loving them.”
Rod wouldn’t know about that. He felt pretty fucked up by not being loved.
“Well, I’m on the pill, so we don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant. There’s one concern out of the way.”
Landon’s head snapped up, his eyes pinning Rod. For just a second he wondered if he went too far, if this wasn’t the time to joke, but then there was a smile in Landon’s eyes. It teased the corners of his mouth too, and Rod wanted nothing more than to see it stretch across his face.
“You’re so fucking crazy.” And there was something in his voice… Something that if Rod didn’t know better, would sound like amazement.
“I’m so fucking serious. That’s one of the perks of gay sex—no unwanted pregnancies.”
Landon’s voice was calm, even when he said, “I’m serious.”
“So am I. When did you think I was asking you to fall in love with me? You said love fucks people up, but who’s asking for love? I’m not. I know you’re sure as hell not. I’m not quietly pining for you to fall in love with me. You’re sexy. We get along well. I think we could have fun in bed together. I want to fuck you, that’s all. I’ve never had someone so adamant not to sleep with me before. I’m starting to take it personally.” Rod crossed his arms, pretending to feel affronted.
“Shut up.” Landon nudged him with his elbow. “I was so fucking hard the other night, I thought I’d lose my damn mind. You have nothing to take personally. I want you. I want you so fucking bad that sometimes it takes everything in me not to strip you bare and fuck the hell out of you. But I like you more.”
Goddamn, hearing that nearly did him in. He wanted to ask Landon to say it again, all of it. How much he wanted Rod and how much he liked him, too. It was almost like he spoke a foreign language, one Rod couldn’t associate with himself. Not when it came to this man.
“I just don’t want to fuck up what we have. Look at what happened last time. We didn’t talk afterward.”
“In my defense, everything that’s happened since last time was one hundred percent your fault,” Rod told him.
“I know,” Landon said, that damn smile teasing his lips again. “It would most definitely be my fault. Seeing what I’ve seen…living what I lived. It’s got my wires crossed when it comes to sex and relationships. It’s a fucked-up excuse but it’s true.”
Rod got that. He really fucking did, but damn he wanted Landon too. And if Landon wanted him just a quarter of how much Rod desired him, then there was no chance this was going away. They’d fuck, maybe fuck a few times, and then Landon would get tired of him and they could go back to being friends. The end.
“I’m going to say this once, and then I’ll let it go. I won’t push, won’t bring it up again, and we’ll pretend none of it happened.” He grabbed Landon’s face and held him so he had to look at him. “I want you. I want you to fuck me. I want to suck your dick. I want you every fucking way I can have you. Every person that I’ve ever had sex with walked away with no problem. This wouldn’t be different. We get along. We have crazy-fucking chemistry and that chemistry would no doubt transfer in bed. Neither of us wants or expects anything other than friendship, and maybe getting off together from time to time. Really, if you look at it,
Landon shook his head and sat up straight. “It is what it is. There’s no changing it. But seeing that? Living with the fighting and the back and forth, and knowing their history... That’s why relationships aren’t my thing. You just fuck people up by loving them.”
Rod wouldn’t know about that. He felt pretty fucked up by not being loved.
“Well, I’m on the pill, so we don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant. There’s one concern out of the way.”
Landon’s head snapped up, his eyes pinning Rod. For just a second he wondered if he went too far, if this wasn’t the time to joke, but then there was a smile in Landon’s eyes. It teased the corners of his mouth too, and Rod wanted nothing more than to see it stretch across his face.
“You’re so fucking crazy.” And there was something in his voice… Something that if Rod didn’t know better, would sound like amazement.
“I’m so fucking serious. That’s one of the perks of gay sex—no unwanted pregnancies.”
Landon’s voice was calm, even when he said, “I’m serious.”
“So am I. When did you think I was asking you to fall in love with me? You said love fucks people up, but who’s asking for love? I’m not. I know you’re sure as hell not. I’m not quietly pining for you to fall in love with me. You’re sexy. We get along well. I think we could have fun in bed together. I want to fuck you, that’s all. I’ve never had someone so adamant not to sleep with me before. I’m starting to take it personally.” Rod crossed his arms, pretending to feel affronted.
“Shut up.” Landon nudged him with his elbow. “I was so fucking hard the other night, I thought I’d lose my damn mind. You have nothing to take personally. I want you. I want you so fucking bad that sometimes it takes everything in me not to strip you bare and fuck the hell out of you. But I like you more.”
Goddamn, hearing that nearly did him in. He wanted to ask Landon to say it again, all of it. How much he wanted Rod and how much he liked him, too. It was almost like he spoke a foreign language, one Rod couldn’t associate with himself. Not when it came to this man.
“I just don’t want to fuck up what we have. Look at what happened last time. We didn’t talk afterward.”
“In my defense, everything that’s happened since last time was one hundred percent your fault,” Rod told him.
“I know,” Landon said, that damn smile teasing his lips again. “It would most definitely be my fault. Seeing what I’ve seen…living what I lived. It’s got my wires crossed when it comes to sex and relationships. It’s a fucked-up excuse but it’s true.”
Rod got that. He really fucking did, but damn he wanted Landon too. And if Landon wanted him just a quarter of how much Rod desired him, then there was no chance this was going away. They’d fuck, maybe fuck a few times, and then Landon would get tired of him and they could go back to being friends. The end.
“I’m going to say this once, and then I’ll let it go. I won’t push, won’t bring it up again, and we’ll pretend none of it happened.” He grabbed Landon’s face and held him so he had to look at him. “I want you. I want you to fuck me. I want to suck your dick. I want you every fucking way I can have you. Every person that I’ve ever had sex with walked away with no problem. This wouldn’t be different. We get along. We have crazy-fucking chemistry and that chemistry would no doubt transfer in bed. Neither of us wants or expects anything other than friendship, and maybe getting off together from time to time. Really, if you look at it,
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