these looks and I am still wondering if she has, you know, designs on my body, and then I decided to just say very little, keep the conversation light and wait for her to make a move. Just act normal . She couldn’t be old enough to hold back her cards for long.
“I was right about that. It took about one minute. She’s cutting her steak and all of a sudden she says, Can I ask you something, Brad? And, I said, Sure. Shoot. So, Amy says, Are you in love with your wife? And, I said, What kind of a question is that?
“About two seconds later she looked at me and said, I see you looking at me and wondering what it would be like to make love to me. Then I realized what a chicken shit I was because I launched into this whole speech about how I was committed to Loretta and how the commitment was the thing and how I had never stepped out on Loretta and all that stuff.”
“Wait!” Robert said. “Here’s the point to this whole story! Brad never laid a finger on Amy but he may as well have because Theo went right to Loretta and told her he had practically nailed Brad in flagrante delicto!”
“Pants down?” Linda said.
“You got it,” Robert said and laughed so loud and so hearty that we all laughed. “Come with me, Linda. Let’s get Louise to give us a sandwich. You want something, old man?”
“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”
“I don’t want bread,” Linda said, “counting carbs, you know. But I could go for soup?”
For the next few minutes, while Robert and Linda were away, I relived the rest of the conversation with Amy and how, at that moment I had wished I had the balls to take her up on her suggestion.
I just want to get laid, Brad. Get laid by a gorgeous man like you with your beautiful eyes that crinkle a little looking down at me, with your gorgeous blond hair . . .
It’s thinning, actually.
Shush! It’s beautiful. And I want to feel your breath in my ears. I don’t want the burden of a personal relationship. I like things the way they are and don’t want to mess that up. There it is, plain and simple.
It had taken me a minute to catch my breath.
Well, I guess you couldn’t paint it much more transparent than that, could you? Look, Amy, let me be honest here, okay? Were I single and we didn’t work together? We’d be in bed as fast as I could take us there. But, we work together and there’s the issue of being married.
What if I change jobs?
Please don’t do that, Amy. You’re the perfect secretary. My whole business would fall apart without you. You know that .
I had looked at her for a long time and she stared at me. What had become of the world? Amy was a stunning young woman who could have had any man she wanted. Except me. I didn’t have the stomach for something as tawdry as an affair. I just wasn’t wired that way.
What are you thinking? she had said.
I’m thinking that I am very flattered and that I wish things were different....
You must have seen me looking at you, no?
Yes, but I wouldn’t have known you felt this way in a million years. You have to understand that I have never stepped outside of my marriage, ever.
Never?
Never.
Well, there’s a first time for everything.
Her light green eyes had sparkled with danger and mischief and I knew I would have been well advised to run like hell. I should have run like hell and laughed like hell at the same time. But all I had said was, I think we had better get the check .
I was combing my fingers through my hair. I remember that I leaned forward in my chair and tried to organize my thoughts before I spoke. Amy. Listen to me. I think you are so beautiful, which I’m sure you already know, because everyone has probably been telling you that since you could understand what it meant. And . . .
Brad! It’s okay! I swear! But don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to sleep with somebody else? I mean, do you realize that if you spend the rest of your life married to Loretta, that her lips are the only lips
“I was right about that. It took about one minute. She’s cutting her steak and all of a sudden she says, Can I ask you something, Brad? And, I said, Sure. Shoot. So, Amy says, Are you in love with your wife? And, I said, What kind of a question is that?
“About two seconds later she looked at me and said, I see you looking at me and wondering what it would be like to make love to me. Then I realized what a chicken shit I was because I launched into this whole speech about how I was committed to Loretta and how the commitment was the thing and how I had never stepped out on Loretta and all that stuff.”
“Wait!” Robert said. “Here’s the point to this whole story! Brad never laid a finger on Amy but he may as well have because Theo went right to Loretta and told her he had practically nailed Brad in flagrante delicto!”
“Pants down?” Linda said.
“You got it,” Robert said and laughed so loud and so hearty that we all laughed. “Come with me, Linda. Let’s get Louise to give us a sandwich. You want something, old man?”
“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”
“I don’t want bread,” Linda said, “counting carbs, you know. But I could go for soup?”
For the next few minutes, while Robert and Linda were away, I relived the rest of the conversation with Amy and how, at that moment I had wished I had the balls to take her up on her suggestion.
I just want to get laid, Brad. Get laid by a gorgeous man like you with your beautiful eyes that crinkle a little looking down at me, with your gorgeous blond hair . . .
It’s thinning, actually.
Shush! It’s beautiful. And I want to feel your breath in my ears. I don’t want the burden of a personal relationship. I like things the way they are and don’t want to mess that up. There it is, plain and simple.
It had taken me a minute to catch my breath.
Well, I guess you couldn’t paint it much more transparent than that, could you? Look, Amy, let me be honest here, okay? Were I single and we didn’t work together? We’d be in bed as fast as I could take us there. But, we work together and there’s the issue of being married.
What if I change jobs?
Please don’t do that, Amy. You’re the perfect secretary. My whole business would fall apart without you. You know that .
I had looked at her for a long time and she stared at me. What had become of the world? Amy was a stunning young woman who could have had any man she wanted. Except me. I didn’t have the stomach for something as tawdry as an affair. I just wasn’t wired that way.
What are you thinking? she had said.
I’m thinking that I am very flattered and that I wish things were different....
You must have seen me looking at you, no?
Yes, but I wouldn’t have known you felt this way in a million years. You have to understand that I have never stepped outside of my marriage, ever.
Never?
Never.
Well, there’s a first time for everything.
Her light green eyes had sparkled with danger and mischief and I knew I would have been well advised to run like hell. I should have run like hell and laughed like hell at the same time. But all I had said was, I think we had better get the check .
I was combing my fingers through my hair. I remember that I leaned forward in my chair and tried to organize my thoughts before I spoke. Amy. Listen to me. I think you are so beautiful, which I’m sure you already know, because everyone has probably been telling you that since you could understand what it meant. And . . .
Brad! It’s okay! I swear! But don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to sleep with somebody else? I mean, do you realize that if you spend the rest of your life married to Loretta, that her lips are the only lips
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