religions, and backgrounds, so I knew a few gay kids. I knew enough to know they didn’t have it easy. Other than knowing those guys, gay wasn’t really on my radar. Honestly, I wasn’t really into anybody.
“Finally in college, I started dating women because that was just what guys like me did. I met some great girls, and I slept with a few of them, but it felt like I was just going through the motions. There was little attraction and almost no emotional connection. There were only two girls I dated with any kind of regularity and they eventually gave up on trying to keep my attention.
His laugh was completely self-deprecating. “I began to wonder if maybe I was just a dud.”
Suddenly, I was filled with anger and indignation on his behalf. The man was smokin’ hot, but he was also incredibly intuitive and just an all-around wonderful guy. I gripped the back of his neck with my right hand and used the other one to cup his dick. “You. Are not. A dud.”
He shivered, and the smile he gave me was nothing short of miraculous. “Thanks. So after I finished college, I went right into the Academy… and that was when I started noticing my increased awareness of men. I was in close quarters with a lot of extremely fit, virile men, and I began having trouble controlling my arousal. At first it freaked me out, and I went into this period of binge-dating women that I’m not proud of.
“Eventually, I stopped dating women because it seemed like once I started noticing men, I couldn’t drum up the slightest interest in the female body. But by that time, I was a cop… a cop in the South . I don’t know any gay guys on the force, and I was afraid of what might happen if they ever found out, but I also didn’t have the heart to start a relationship with someone that I’d have to hide. That wouldn’t be fair.”
“That’s very empathetic of you… but didn’t you ever just go find a guy to get your rocks off with?” Even as I asked it, I knew that Charlie wasn’t that kind of guy.
“Even if I’d wanted to do it that way, I’d have never known where to go or what to do,” he said, blushing. Then his expression grew serious. “I don’t know where this is going between you and I, and I still don’t know about being gay as a cop. Being all mixed up in this case too… I’m just trying to say I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I definitely don’t want you getting hurt. You get me?”
I did. He was trying to leave himself an out but to spare my feelings at the same time. I didn’t blame him for it; it wasn’t like I’d been expecting a proposal. “It’s cool. We’re cool. I like hanging out with you, Charlie. And I can’t say I mind having a big, strong cop around when there’s a crazy psycho out there.”
He grinned wide, and his dimple peeked out. “You think I’m strong?”
“Oh hell,” I said, rolling my eyes. Then I yawned so hard my jaw cracked.
“That’s it, bucko. You need to go to sleep.”
“You’re probably right,” I said, even though I knew it would take me hours yet to fall asleep. “I guess I’ll just head to my room. You’ll be here?”
Something had crossed his face when I mentioned my room, like maybe he was hoping we’d sleep together. I didn’t want to push him that far yet and besides, I’d only keep him awake.
“Yeah, I’ll be right here,” he said, lying back on the thin mattress. “Good night, Titus. Sleep well.”
“Back atcha,” I said again and turned to go down the hall to my room. I wanted nothing more than to curl up beside that big warm bear of a man, but my sense of self-preservation was too strong. Shuffling into my room, I began the long, arduous process that was the act of an insomniac trying to sleep.
* * * *
I heard a noise. I know I did. Something woke me in the middle of the night; a creaking floorboard, a squeaky hinge, something. I wondered if my wards were slipping and the mule were finding their way inside. Maybe I’d
“Finally in college, I started dating women because that was just what guys like me did. I met some great girls, and I slept with a few of them, but it felt like I was just going through the motions. There was little attraction and almost no emotional connection. There were only two girls I dated with any kind of regularity and they eventually gave up on trying to keep my attention.
His laugh was completely self-deprecating. “I began to wonder if maybe I was just a dud.”
Suddenly, I was filled with anger and indignation on his behalf. The man was smokin’ hot, but he was also incredibly intuitive and just an all-around wonderful guy. I gripped the back of his neck with my right hand and used the other one to cup his dick. “You. Are not. A dud.”
He shivered, and the smile he gave me was nothing short of miraculous. “Thanks. So after I finished college, I went right into the Academy… and that was when I started noticing my increased awareness of men. I was in close quarters with a lot of extremely fit, virile men, and I began having trouble controlling my arousal. At first it freaked me out, and I went into this period of binge-dating women that I’m not proud of.
“Eventually, I stopped dating women because it seemed like once I started noticing men, I couldn’t drum up the slightest interest in the female body. But by that time, I was a cop… a cop in the South . I don’t know any gay guys on the force, and I was afraid of what might happen if they ever found out, but I also didn’t have the heart to start a relationship with someone that I’d have to hide. That wouldn’t be fair.”
“That’s very empathetic of you… but didn’t you ever just go find a guy to get your rocks off with?” Even as I asked it, I knew that Charlie wasn’t that kind of guy.
“Even if I’d wanted to do it that way, I’d have never known where to go or what to do,” he said, blushing. Then his expression grew serious. “I don’t know where this is going between you and I, and I still don’t know about being gay as a cop. Being all mixed up in this case too… I’m just trying to say I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I definitely don’t want you getting hurt. You get me?”
I did. He was trying to leave himself an out but to spare my feelings at the same time. I didn’t blame him for it; it wasn’t like I’d been expecting a proposal. “It’s cool. We’re cool. I like hanging out with you, Charlie. And I can’t say I mind having a big, strong cop around when there’s a crazy psycho out there.”
He grinned wide, and his dimple peeked out. “You think I’m strong?”
“Oh hell,” I said, rolling my eyes. Then I yawned so hard my jaw cracked.
“That’s it, bucko. You need to go to sleep.”
“You’re probably right,” I said, even though I knew it would take me hours yet to fall asleep. “I guess I’ll just head to my room. You’ll be here?”
Something had crossed his face when I mentioned my room, like maybe he was hoping we’d sleep together. I didn’t want to push him that far yet and besides, I’d only keep him awake.
“Yeah, I’ll be right here,” he said, lying back on the thin mattress. “Good night, Titus. Sleep well.”
“Back atcha,” I said again and turned to go down the hall to my room. I wanted nothing more than to curl up beside that big warm bear of a man, but my sense of self-preservation was too strong. Shuffling into my room, I began the long, arduous process that was the act of an insomniac trying to sleep.
* * * *
I heard a noise. I know I did. Something woke me in the middle of the night; a creaking floorboard, a squeaky hinge, something. I wondered if my wards were slipping and the mule were finding their way inside. Maybe I’d
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