Shadow Man by Cynthia D. Grant

sick of listening to you.”
    â€œAnd I’m sick of you acting like this,” I said. “I won’t let you drink around the baby.”
    â€œThat suits me fine. Maybe it’s not even mine.”
    I felt as if he’d kicked me in the stomach. In the dim light inside the truck his face looked like a stranger’s.
    â€œGabriel, how can you say a thing like that?”
    â€œI’m sick of you ragging on me all the time! This is the real me! Take it or leave it!”
    â€œAnd I’m sick of watching you kill yourself with booze! If you hate life so much, why don’t you just blow your head off?”
    â€œMaybe I will!” he roared. He kicked me out of the truck; actually kicked and pushed me out. Then he went around back and dragged Jack out, leaving us there, by the side of the road. We waited in the dark for Gabe to come back for us, then we walked home. That was two nights ago. It was the last time that Gabe and I spoke.
    Usually, after we fought, he’d call and apologize. I’m sorry, honey girl; it won’t happen again. He’d say he was going to quit drinking so much. He’d promise that things were going to change.
    This time he didn’t call me and I didn’t call him. I was too angry. I was too proud. This is the last straw, I thought; I’ve had it.
    We were supposed to go to Mendocino for dinner this weekend. Gabe told me about it on Monday night, the night before he turned on me. We were parked in his truck, in front of my house. Gabe had his hand on my belly. My folks were inside, watching the news on TV. I thought: Wait till they hear the news about this baby.
    He told me he’d made a reservation at Collins House, a beautiful old inn overlooking the sea. I said he shouldn’t do that; it’s too expensive. He doesn’t make much money at the planter box factory.
    â€œWe’re going,” he said. “You deserve the best. We’ll have a nice dinner Saturday night, just you and me and Jasper.” That’s what he jokingly calls the baby. He’s sure it’s going to be a boy. Gabe patted my belly. “It’s hard to believe he’s really in there. How does he breathe?”
    â€œThrough the cord, I think. It’s complicated. Gabe, we’ve got to plan this out. We’ve got to tell our families.”
    â€œYou’re the one who’s been putting it off. Honey, I want you to marry me.”
    I said, “Maybe we shouldn’t get married right away.” I’d always thought we would, someday, but things were happening too fast. I had to finish high school. And what about college? I was going to go to college. How could I be a wife and mother? I wasn’t done with being a girl. I felt as if someone had handed me a script and said, Here, you play the woman.
    â€œWhy not?” Gabe said. “That’s what people usually do, especially when they’re going to have a baby. Besides, I love you.”
    â€œI love you too. But that doesn’t mean we need to get married.”
    Gabe looked mad. He said, “Most girls in town, they’d jump at the chance, if I asked them.”
    â€œThen go ahead and ask them! How about Susie Richards?”
    â€œI hardly even know her.”
    â€œYou must think I’m so stupid! I know what’s been going on!”
    â€œIt ain’t going on anymore,” he said. “Anyway, she didn’t mean nothing to me.”
    â€œThen why did you sleep with her?”
    â€œWhat do you want me to do?” He hit the steering wheel, hard. “I’m not a little boy, I’m a man! You make love to me once, then cut me off! What difference does it make now? You’re pregnant!”
    â€œThanks to you!”
    â€œHey, you were there too!”
    He was right, of course. I’d written the script with my own hand.
    He left abruptly, tires squealing. I went into the house. My mother sighed. My father gave me an