the present and my hope for the future. The Philadelphia Art Institute offers a certificate program and I'm taking the fifth of six courses. Slowly, but surely, over the past three years I am progressing through the program. I take one class a semester and am working hard.
As a high school dropout this is a new experience, my first time in a classroom in over 18 years. One day, three years ago, I have a revelation about my life. My modeling career is ending, I have no other skills, I have a job only because my husband owns the modeling agency, and my marriage is dissolving.
I need a plan. It is hard to do, but, I break through my submissive tendencies and take action. I feel terrific; it energizes me like no other time in my life.
My plans are to divorce my cheating husband, marry my special man, have two children, live in the suburbs and use my divorce settlement money to start my own business, an interior decorating business. But, first, I needed to get my GED.
I didn't realize how ignorant and undereducated I was until I flunked my first attempt at the exams. I was so embarrassed. I kept it a secret. But, I was also determined to pass. I took a study course and worked very hard. The math was a killer. It killed me to get above the eighth grade level. The gap in my understanding was huge. I was okay at science and social studies. My verbal skills were better. I read at a ninth grade level, but I did understand grammar and I spelled well.
My writing skills were rough and my instructor suggested that I write a journal. I didn't know what to write about so she suggested that I write about my day to day life. That was not very exciting, so she asked about my life experiences and I told her about my modeling career. That was the inspiration. Since modeling had so dominated my life, I decided to write my memoirs. No, that's not exactly correct. These are too personal, the thoughts are too private, to ever be published. They are really my secret diaries. It went slowly at first, but I loved writing. It brought back so many memories; most I loved. It also helped me understand myself more and what I wanted in life.
Somehow, I passed the GED exams the second time. I was so happy. It gave me a warm feeling and I was motivated to go on.
If the GED was hard, getting accepted in the interior design program was impossible. I pulled a major string to get in. My husband, Robert, is a major contributor to the college, and his call to the college president made the difference.
However, I wanted to pass these courses myself. This is my future, not Robert's or anyone else's. I worked by myself, without any special help. I was very happy and surprised to find I had some drawing talent and a good sense of space and perspective. My teachers gave me compliments and they made me feel happier than anything I had ever done. I was even prouder of my drawings than my magazine cover photos.
My business plan seems possible; more so every day. My personal plans still seem improbable; I won't write the other I-word.
My daydream is broken by my ringing phone. My date for this evening wants to know when I will arrive at her apartment. Her dominate personality raises my spirits. Yes, I tell her, I'm coming soon and we will have fun and will go out to dinner. Cyndie gives me my first order; I promise to make our dinner reservation.
I'm getting comfort from Cyndie, but I want to be with a man, a man who will hold me, love me, and make my toes and many other parts of my body tingle. I dream of my special man. I want him. I'm ready for him. I know it's only a matter of time.
Cyndie is my best and only true friend. She is so kind to me. She treats me nicely. Cyndie knows what I want. And, she's helping.
Cyndie also knows I'm beyond being patient; I'm downright desperate. I'm doing the best I can to hold on to my looks. Will my special man and I have better timing? Will he become free to be with me? How do we turn back time eleven years, to when we first
As a high school dropout this is a new experience, my first time in a classroom in over 18 years. One day, three years ago, I have a revelation about my life. My modeling career is ending, I have no other skills, I have a job only because my husband owns the modeling agency, and my marriage is dissolving.
I need a plan. It is hard to do, but, I break through my submissive tendencies and take action. I feel terrific; it energizes me like no other time in my life.
My plans are to divorce my cheating husband, marry my special man, have two children, live in the suburbs and use my divorce settlement money to start my own business, an interior decorating business. But, first, I needed to get my GED.
I didn't realize how ignorant and undereducated I was until I flunked my first attempt at the exams. I was so embarrassed. I kept it a secret. But, I was also determined to pass. I took a study course and worked very hard. The math was a killer. It killed me to get above the eighth grade level. The gap in my understanding was huge. I was okay at science and social studies. My verbal skills were better. I read at a ninth grade level, but I did understand grammar and I spelled well.
My writing skills were rough and my instructor suggested that I write a journal. I didn't know what to write about so she suggested that I write about my day to day life. That was not very exciting, so she asked about my life experiences and I told her about my modeling career. That was the inspiration. Since modeling had so dominated my life, I decided to write my memoirs. No, that's not exactly correct. These are too personal, the thoughts are too private, to ever be published. They are really my secret diaries. It went slowly at first, but I loved writing. It brought back so many memories; most I loved. It also helped me understand myself more and what I wanted in life.
Somehow, I passed the GED exams the second time. I was so happy. It gave me a warm feeling and I was motivated to go on.
If the GED was hard, getting accepted in the interior design program was impossible. I pulled a major string to get in. My husband, Robert, is a major contributor to the college, and his call to the college president made the difference.
However, I wanted to pass these courses myself. This is my future, not Robert's or anyone else's. I worked by myself, without any special help. I was very happy and surprised to find I had some drawing talent and a good sense of space and perspective. My teachers gave me compliments and they made me feel happier than anything I had ever done. I was even prouder of my drawings than my magazine cover photos.
My business plan seems possible; more so every day. My personal plans still seem improbable; I won't write the other I-word.
My daydream is broken by my ringing phone. My date for this evening wants to know when I will arrive at her apartment. Her dominate personality raises my spirits. Yes, I tell her, I'm coming soon and we will have fun and will go out to dinner. Cyndie gives me my first order; I promise to make our dinner reservation.
I'm getting comfort from Cyndie, but I want to be with a man, a man who will hold me, love me, and make my toes and many other parts of my body tingle. I dream of my special man. I want him. I'm ready for him. I know it's only a matter of time.
Cyndie is my best and only true friend. She is so kind to me. She treats me nicely. Cyndie knows what I want. And, she's helping.
Cyndie also knows I'm beyond being patient; I'm downright desperate. I'm doing the best I can to hold on to my looks. Will my special man and I have better timing? Will he become free to be with me? How do we turn back time eleven years, to when we first
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