scattering roasted chestnuts about the palace floor. Lowering a cande- 1 labrum to illuminate the errant nuts, he then ordered the whores to pick them up … with their mouths. They did so greedily, giving the pope and his retinue ample opportunity to admire their noble parts, a spectacle this reviewer won’t soon forget.
But roasted chestnuts? How about eating some nonroasted wild animals? Doesn’t anyone throw orgies anymore?
Formula One Chief Max Mosley’s Nazi Concentration Camp Bondage Orgy
Max Moseley’s Chelsea Torture Flat
March 28, 2008
Rating: Too soon.
Ray and Margaret’s Backyard Bacchanalia
Memorial Day, 2009
Rating:
[…] Despite a promising run time of “Noon-???” and a “decadent” amount of mayonnaise in the potato salad, this so-called bacchanalia failed to live up to its ambitious billing. Though courteous and charming hosts in their own right, Margaret and Ray simply haven’t the talent nor the wanton depravity needed to host a bachelorette party, much less a full-blown orgy. Also, with regard to the ambrosia salad, this deity doesn’t remember the food of the gods having quite so many marshmallows. (But that didn’t stop me from going back for seconds!)
Wildo’s Retreat
In the seventies and early eighties, there were more functioning sex clubs in New York City than there were Ray’s Famous Pizzas. But without a doubt the greatest club of all was Wildo’s Retreat, located in the heart of the Swingers’ District. Featuring a nude waitstaff, all-you-can-eat edible underwear, and twice-daily hosings-down, Wildo’s Retreat was the place for public displays of friction. And every night, Wildo would take a stroll right through the middle of it, basking in his life’s work. Can you spot him?
L.L.Beast
A Catalog for Animal Lovers
A. GOAT COP, BAD COP Whether it’s Sergeant Billy or Officer Nanny, you’d better spread him when they trol, up in his sexy uniform. You broke the laws of nature, so shut up and listen when they bleat out your rights.
KEY FEATURES
• Edible cotton/nylon blend
• Comes in navy or black (only one of you is color blind!)
• One size fits around all four-chambered stomachs
ITEM #TA259553 $49.85
B. TIGER You better be brave, because this tiger is a very naughty nurse! Nurse Tiger will take your pulse right before she slashes your heart out. An apple a day most dennitely won’t keep Nurse Tiger away from giving you a bloody sponge bath. Catalog and Web only.
KEY FEATURES
• Stethoscope, even though your pounding heart will be audible without it
• Sensible shoes
• Anal thermometer … so hold still!
ITEM #TA233493 $61.19
C. I GOT YOU, BABE Finally, nipple clamps that everyone in the animal kingdom can enjoy. Your pig can embrace its gluttony by clamping down all its teats at once! No more rotating around the traditional two clamps—your pig will appreciate a simultaneous nipple tweak for all twelve teats. And it will go hog wild for the fashionable leather collar.
KEY FEATURES
• Stainless-steel clamps and chains, easy to wash mud off
• Removable clamps in case your pig has fewer than twelve teats. You can use the extras on your self!
• Glover clamps coming soon, pending PETA approval
ITEM #TQ776912 $80.32
that’s only $6.69 per clamp!
Also available in Dungeoness Crab ITEM #TQ774562 $36.78
D. JUNGLE FEVER Put your aggressive hippo into submission with the ultimate toy made just for her. This one-of-a-kind gag ball is four feet in diameter and made of 100 percent American steel. Fitting just behind the teeth, hippo will be drooling a river all its own. Keep your hungry hungry hippo begging for more!
KEY FEATURES
• Adjustable strap
• Waterproof
• Grass flavored
ITEM #TG679148 $749.66
URBAN LEGENDS OF SEX
We’ve all heard them. Whispered tales of sexual experimentation gone horribly awry, usually with devastating consequences. One is tempted to dismiss them as freak accidents or tall tales. But the fact
But roasted chestnuts? How about eating some nonroasted wild animals? Doesn’t anyone throw orgies anymore?
Formula One Chief Max Mosley’s Nazi Concentration Camp Bondage Orgy
Max Moseley’s Chelsea Torture Flat
March 28, 2008
Rating: Too soon.
Ray and Margaret’s Backyard Bacchanalia
Memorial Day, 2009
Rating:
[…] Despite a promising run time of “Noon-???” and a “decadent” amount of mayonnaise in the potato salad, this so-called bacchanalia failed to live up to its ambitious billing. Though courteous and charming hosts in their own right, Margaret and Ray simply haven’t the talent nor the wanton depravity needed to host a bachelorette party, much less a full-blown orgy. Also, with regard to the ambrosia salad, this deity doesn’t remember the food of the gods having quite so many marshmallows. (But that didn’t stop me from going back for seconds!)
Wildo’s Retreat
In the seventies and early eighties, there were more functioning sex clubs in New York City than there were Ray’s Famous Pizzas. But without a doubt the greatest club of all was Wildo’s Retreat, located in the heart of the Swingers’ District. Featuring a nude waitstaff, all-you-can-eat edible underwear, and twice-daily hosings-down, Wildo’s Retreat was the place for public displays of friction. And every night, Wildo would take a stroll right through the middle of it, basking in his life’s work. Can you spot him?
L.L.Beast
A Catalog for Animal Lovers
A. GOAT COP, BAD COP Whether it’s Sergeant Billy or Officer Nanny, you’d better spread him when they trol, up in his sexy uniform. You broke the laws of nature, so shut up and listen when they bleat out your rights.
KEY FEATURES
• Edible cotton/nylon blend
• Comes in navy or black (only one of you is color blind!)
• One size fits around all four-chambered stomachs
ITEM #TA259553 $49.85
B. TIGER You better be brave, because this tiger is a very naughty nurse! Nurse Tiger will take your pulse right before she slashes your heart out. An apple a day most dennitely won’t keep Nurse Tiger away from giving you a bloody sponge bath. Catalog and Web only.
KEY FEATURES
• Stethoscope, even though your pounding heart will be audible without it
• Sensible shoes
• Anal thermometer … so hold still!
ITEM #TA233493 $61.19
C. I GOT YOU, BABE Finally, nipple clamps that everyone in the animal kingdom can enjoy. Your pig can embrace its gluttony by clamping down all its teats at once! No more rotating around the traditional two clamps—your pig will appreciate a simultaneous nipple tweak for all twelve teats. And it will go hog wild for the fashionable leather collar.
KEY FEATURES
• Stainless-steel clamps and chains, easy to wash mud off
• Removable clamps in case your pig has fewer than twelve teats. You can use the extras on your self!
• Glover clamps coming soon, pending PETA approval
ITEM #TQ776912 $80.32
that’s only $6.69 per clamp!
Also available in Dungeoness Crab ITEM #TQ774562 $36.78
D. JUNGLE FEVER Put your aggressive hippo into submission with the ultimate toy made just for her. This one-of-a-kind gag ball is four feet in diameter and made of 100 percent American steel. Fitting just behind the teeth, hippo will be drooling a river all its own. Keep your hungry hungry hippo begging for more!
KEY FEATURES
• Adjustable strap
• Waterproof
• Grass flavored
ITEM #TG679148 $749.66
URBAN LEGENDS OF SEX
We’ve all heard them. Whispered tales of sexual experimentation gone horribly awry, usually with devastating consequences. One is tempted to dismiss them as freak accidents or tall tales. But the fact
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