else can I do now? I can’t rewind time.”
“What else can you do?” His eyes are properly glinting now. He starts to laugh, a manic, nasty laugh that cuts right through me. “Did you hear this, Mel? She wants to know what else she can do … WELL YOU COULD GET HOME ON TIME FOR A START! SHOW US A BIT OF BLOODY RESPECT!”
His hand slams the table, I see Mum flinch but she still keeps her eyes lowered. I swear she’s mumbling something under her breath. I don’t move a muscle. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“And now, you will eat that dinner.”
“Er, you’re kidding me.”
“Er, no! I’m not. You are going to eat that dinner. Every last mouthful.”
I look at it again, the cold mess. I don’t like sausages much at the best of times. “Can I at least heat it in the microwave?”
“No.”
“But I might get a bug or something. This is rank. Mum – aren’t you going to say something?” I plead.
“Just do as he says,” she whispers, still with her head bent. “It won’t kill you.”
“No.” I can feel the anger snaking up me again. Everything – him, Jess, Lyn – it’s all too much. I don’t have to stand for this. “This is out of order. I’m not doing it.”
“Oh yes you are.”
He grabs my head before I’m even aware of what he’s doing, gripping my hair tightly and forcing me forwards. I try and fight back, but it’s useless, his anger makes him ten times stronger. My whole body is being pushed. I can see the dinner coming towards me, one last pathetic look before his whole weight shoves my face into it.
He keeps hold of my hair and moves my head back and forth into the cold, stinky food. All I can feel is mush.
“Eat it,” he hisses into my ear.
I keep my mouth clamped shut. He’s not going to win.
“Eat it!”
He moves my head faster now. Cold, plastic-tasting meat is forced into my mouth. Mash like lumpy milk goes up my nose, slips down my throat. I’m going to choke. I gag and then I manage to scream. I use my elbows to force him away.
Finally, he lets go and I fall to the floor, dinner dripping off me. My scalp is throbbing. Dad is panting behind me. Mum is sobbing.
“You needed to be taught a lesson,” he hisses, before storming out the room. The door slams.
I wipe my face, letting a great lump of potato fall on the carpet. I hope it stains.
I look at my mum and I could scream at her. I didn’t cry once and I’m not going to.
I’ll never be like her.
Never.
Kez Walker: BIG changes. I’m not bein made a mug of again…;o(
3 hours ago.
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Marnie: You OK babe?
Kez: NO!
Marnie: Dont worry. We’ll sort it
Kez: Yeah. We better. Not bein made a fool of by anyone!
Lois: I’m sorry if ur still mad at me … I just had 2 say somethin
Kez: Not mad at u, but things changed. The stig is winding me up. And others
Lois: Really? Tell me 2
Kez: Will do
Lyn: You ok?
Kez: We need to talk.
Lyn: Ok. C u tomorro.
“Why don’t we ever see Dad now?”
Hollie is walking slowly today, dragging her bag along the floor, making a nasty scraping sound. She’s been whining all morning. I had to literally pull her out of bed this morning and then she just laid herself on the floor in a hot, crying lump. It’s impossible to love her when she’s like this, it would be like loving a creation from a horror film.
“He’s busy,” I say.
“Doing what? I want to see him. I made him a picture.”
“Working, I think.”
I hate lying to her. I want to take her grubby hand in mine and march her over to number 32, Beaches Rise and knock on the door. There you go, there’s our dad. He actually lives ten minutes away, he just can’t be bothered to see us. Oh, ignore the crying in the other room – that’s his other kid, your little brother or sister. Go on, say hello…
“But Tyler’s daddy works and he still sees him.”
Tyler is Hollie’s best friend. The two of them usually walk round the playground holding hands, or
“What else can you do?” His eyes are properly glinting now. He starts to laugh, a manic, nasty laugh that cuts right through me. “Did you hear this, Mel? She wants to know what else she can do … WELL YOU COULD GET HOME ON TIME FOR A START! SHOW US A BIT OF BLOODY RESPECT!”
His hand slams the table, I see Mum flinch but she still keeps her eyes lowered. I swear she’s mumbling something under her breath. I don’t move a muscle. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“And now, you will eat that dinner.”
“Er, you’re kidding me.”
“Er, no! I’m not. You are going to eat that dinner. Every last mouthful.”
I look at it again, the cold mess. I don’t like sausages much at the best of times. “Can I at least heat it in the microwave?”
“No.”
“But I might get a bug or something. This is rank. Mum – aren’t you going to say something?” I plead.
“Just do as he says,” she whispers, still with her head bent. “It won’t kill you.”
“No.” I can feel the anger snaking up me again. Everything – him, Jess, Lyn – it’s all too much. I don’t have to stand for this. “This is out of order. I’m not doing it.”
“Oh yes you are.”
He grabs my head before I’m even aware of what he’s doing, gripping my hair tightly and forcing me forwards. I try and fight back, but it’s useless, his anger makes him ten times stronger. My whole body is being pushed. I can see the dinner coming towards me, one last pathetic look before his whole weight shoves my face into it.
He keeps hold of my hair and moves my head back and forth into the cold, stinky food. All I can feel is mush.
“Eat it,” he hisses into my ear.
I keep my mouth clamped shut. He’s not going to win.
“Eat it!”
He moves my head faster now. Cold, plastic-tasting meat is forced into my mouth. Mash like lumpy milk goes up my nose, slips down my throat. I’m going to choke. I gag and then I manage to scream. I use my elbows to force him away.
Finally, he lets go and I fall to the floor, dinner dripping off me. My scalp is throbbing. Dad is panting behind me. Mum is sobbing.
“You needed to be taught a lesson,” he hisses, before storming out the room. The door slams.
I wipe my face, letting a great lump of potato fall on the carpet. I hope it stains.
I look at my mum and I could scream at her. I didn’t cry once and I’m not going to.
I’ll never be like her.
Never.
Kez Walker: BIG changes. I’m not bein made a mug of again…;o(
3 hours ago.
Like
Comment
Share
Marnie: You OK babe?
Kez: NO!
Marnie: Dont worry. We’ll sort it
Kez: Yeah. We better. Not bein made a fool of by anyone!
Lois: I’m sorry if ur still mad at me … I just had 2 say somethin
Kez: Not mad at u, but things changed. The stig is winding me up. And others
Lois: Really? Tell me 2
Kez: Will do
Lyn: You ok?
Kez: We need to talk.
Lyn: Ok. C u tomorro.
“Why don’t we ever see Dad now?”
Hollie is walking slowly today, dragging her bag along the floor, making a nasty scraping sound. She’s been whining all morning. I had to literally pull her out of bed this morning and then she just laid herself on the floor in a hot, crying lump. It’s impossible to love her when she’s like this, it would be like loving a creation from a horror film.
“He’s busy,” I say.
“Doing what? I want to see him. I made him a picture.”
“Working, I think.”
I hate lying to her. I want to take her grubby hand in mine and march her over to number 32, Beaches Rise and knock on the door. There you go, there’s our dad. He actually lives ten minutes away, he just can’t be bothered to see us. Oh, ignore the crying in the other room – that’s his other kid, your little brother or sister. Go on, say hello…
“But Tyler’s daddy works and he still sees him.”
Tyler is Hollie’s best friend. The two of them usually walk round the playground holding hands, or
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