wanted to be like Hot Lips Houlihan and run my own
field hospital. My parents, however, did everything in their power to steer me
in a different direction. They didn’t want a soldier’s life for their little
girl. They wanted me to be like my sister and find a nice man to marry and
settle down. At eighteen I wasn’t strong enough to go against them, so I went
to college and got a degree in chemistry instead.”
“That must’ve been difficult for you.”
Lauren shook her head and smiled. “Not
really. I was in with all the nursing students and, unbeknownst to my parents,
I took all my ‘extra’ courses in the heavier nursing subjects. I graduated only
a few courses away from getting my RN.”
“At one point you said you went to two
different colleges.”
“Actually one college and one university. I
graduated from Nazareth, magna cum laude, with no job. I didn’t tell my parents
I didn’t have a job because I wasn’t looking for one, I told them there just
wasn’t much call for chemists at the moment and that I’d like to go on and get
my master’s in the meantime.”
“They bought that?”
Lauren shrugged. “Not really. I finally
broke down and told them I really wanted to be a nurse and that I wasn’t that
far from getting the degree I really wanted. They weren’t happy, mostly because
they don’t see nursing as prestigious as being a chemist, but I finally got
them to agree to allow me to live at home with minimal rent while I went
through the University of Rochester’s program, graduating with a master of
science…in nursing.”
John’s thumb traced over the back of her
hand as he held it, giving her a warm feeling of security.
“So,” John prompted, “you got the degree.
Did you enlist without their blessing?”
A small shadow passed over her face as she
shook her head. “No. I got my degree and was to start a new job at a doctor’s
office not too far from home. Not exactly the excitement I’d hoped for, but it
was a job and it made my parents happy. Then came the car crash…and suddenly
they were gone and it didn’t matter anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
His soft words spoke volumes of
understanding. Lauren looked at him with dry eyes. “Thank you. I’m sure you’ve
figured out we didn’t have the best relationship in the world. Annie was the
good child, I was the difficult one. Spent a lot of time feeling guilty over
that. Then I joined the Army, got sent to Iraq, and didn’t have time for guilt
anymore.”
“And yet that guilt is still there.”
Lauren shook her head. “Not really.
Sadness, though. I never knew my parents as an adult. I would like to have
gotten to know them on a different level and that’s never going to happen. That
makes me sad sometimes.”
John nodded. “‘When I was a child I spake
as a child…’”
“Exactly. They would’ve hated me being away
and in danger so much but now that I’m back and safe? I would love to sit and
talk away the afternoon and discuss philosophy and religion and politics—all
those subjects I shunned before.”
It felt good to tell the story. Up until
now, only Beth, Annie and one other knew how much trouble she had with her
parents. In the US Army, personal issues were left where they belonged—at home.
She’d been trained to do a job that left no room for ruminations of the past or
what might have been. Talking to John was far better than talking with the
military psychologists. Those people were overworked and underpaid for the
problems they had to help soldiers cope with.
John sat quietly listening and Lauren knew
he understood even the things she didn’t say. She didn’t need to explain her
love of the ideal concerning her service in Iraq. She didn’t need to tell him
how much she felt she was helping both Iraqis and American. And British. And
Polish. And…so many more.
“So you joined the Army as a nurse but
things have changed since the Korean conflict. No more MASH units.”
Lauren’s smile was
field hospital. My parents, however, did everything in their power to steer me
in a different direction. They didn’t want a soldier’s life for their little
girl. They wanted me to be like my sister and find a nice man to marry and
settle down. At eighteen I wasn’t strong enough to go against them, so I went
to college and got a degree in chemistry instead.”
“That must’ve been difficult for you.”
Lauren shook her head and smiled. “Not
really. I was in with all the nursing students and, unbeknownst to my parents,
I took all my ‘extra’ courses in the heavier nursing subjects. I graduated only
a few courses away from getting my RN.”
“At one point you said you went to two
different colleges.”
“Actually one college and one university. I
graduated from Nazareth, magna cum laude, with no job. I didn’t tell my parents
I didn’t have a job because I wasn’t looking for one, I told them there just
wasn’t much call for chemists at the moment and that I’d like to go on and get
my master’s in the meantime.”
“They bought that?”
Lauren shrugged. “Not really. I finally
broke down and told them I really wanted to be a nurse and that I wasn’t that
far from getting the degree I really wanted. They weren’t happy, mostly because
they don’t see nursing as prestigious as being a chemist, but I finally got
them to agree to allow me to live at home with minimal rent while I went
through the University of Rochester’s program, graduating with a master of
science…in nursing.”
John’s thumb traced over the back of her
hand as he held it, giving her a warm feeling of security.
“So,” John prompted, “you got the degree.
Did you enlist without their blessing?”
A small shadow passed over her face as she
shook her head. “No. I got my degree and was to start a new job at a doctor’s
office not too far from home. Not exactly the excitement I’d hoped for, but it
was a job and it made my parents happy. Then came the car crash…and suddenly
they were gone and it didn’t matter anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
His soft words spoke volumes of
understanding. Lauren looked at him with dry eyes. “Thank you. I’m sure you’ve
figured out we didn’t have the best relationship in the world. Annie was the
good child, I was the difficult one. Spent a lot of time feeling guilty over
that. Then I joined the Army, got sent to Iraq, and didn’t have time for guilt
anymore.”
“And yet that guilt is still there.”
Lauren shook her head. “Not really.
Sadness, though. I never knew my parents as an adult. I would like to have
gotten to know them on a different level and that’s never going to happen. That
makes me sad sometimes.”
John nodded. “‘When I was a child I spake
as a child…’”
“Exactly. They would’ve hated me being away
and in danger so much but now that I’m back and safe? I would love to sit and
talk away the afternoon and discuss philosophy and religion and politics—all
those subjects I shunned before.”
It felt good to tell the story. Up until
now, only Beth, Annie and one other knew how much trouble she had with her
parents. In the US Army, personal issues were left where they belonged—at home.
She’d been trained to do a job that left no room for ruminations of the past or
what might have been. Talking to John was far better than talking with the
military psychologists. Those people were overworked and underpaid for the
problems they had to help soldiers cope with.
John sat quietly listening and Lauren knew
he understood even the things she didn’t say. She didn’t need to explain her
love of the ideal concerning her service in Iraq. She didn’t need to tell him
how much she felt she was helping both Iraqis and American. And British. And
Polish. And…so many more.
“So you joined the Army as a nurse but
things have changed since the Korean conflict. No more MASH units.”
Lauren’s smile was
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