general population
lapped it up
. The rallies werehuge, and some of the slogans—my word, if humans knew what was being said about them. But as Persephone Skeleton’s popularity increased, all of a sudden her message became
Let’s get BACK at the humans
. Of course, not everybody here wants violence, but those of us who don’t have to stick together, because we’re seen as antigovernment and antipatriotic.”
“Which is what you, Dr. Narwhal, and Vango are.”
“Dissenters, yes. That’s why we’re looking for ACORN.”
“What’s ACORN?”
“The Abstract Companion Organization for Resistance Now—A.C.O.R.N. Up until now, abstract companions have never been allowed to physically touch humans other than the people to whom they were assigned. But at the moment, President Skeleton is in the process of changing that law.”
“Dwack?”
“Yes?”
“Where are Dr. Narwhal and Vango?”
Dwack stopped and looked around, scanning the rocky landscape. Dr. Narwhal and Vango
had
disappeared.
“Don’t yell for them,” said Dwack. “If there are unsavory characters out there, the last thing we want to do is let them know where we are….”
“They might already know where we are,” said Ted.
“Why do you say that?”
“Look up.”
Dwack looked up.
Dozens of ab-coms were standing on the colossal boulders surrounding them, but Dwack could only make out their silhouettes, because he was staring into the sun. In the middle of the silhouettes, he could see a large squiggling bag, which, if hehad to guess, probably had Dr. Narwhal inside. Next to the large bag was a smaller bag that wasn’t moving much at all. Vango wasn’t struggling.
“A well-planned ambush,” whispered Dwack. “I can probably fight off five of them. How many do you think you can take?”
“None,” whispered Ted. “I’m a terrible fighter.”
“Well,” said Dwack, “perhaps we should surrender, then.”
IX
“Ladies, gentlemen, and creatures—all you giant slugs and snails and the like—of the Senate!” said a proboscis monkey wearing a sequined jacket. “If you’ve got hands, please put them together and welcome the beautiful, newly elected PRESIDENT PERSEPHONE SKELETON, BECAUSE SHE IS HERE TONIGHT!”
The Senate chamber erupted into applause as Persephone entered and walked to the raised podium where the president traditionally addressed the Senate. A freshly painted portrait of her hung on the wall behind her head, and in front of her, the hall was filled with 750 senators hailing from all over Middlemost. They had come together to welcome their new leader. And to cast today’s crucial vote.
Persephone looked over her audience with her empty eye sockets, at the adoring faces of her government colleagues as they waited for her to speak, and at the few individuals who seemed dismayed by her new leadership role. She stared at these dissenters.
Mental note: Have all the non-adorers killed
.
Another mental note: As soon as possible
.
“Senators of Middlemost!” shrieked Persephone. “Today we write a new page in the history of Middlemost. Too long have we allowed ourselves to be pushed around and tossed aside by the humans who claimed to be our
friends!”
Cheers from the Senate!
“My human pushed me down the laundry chute!” said a senator.
“Mine tried to eat me!” said an admittedly delicious-looking turkey senator.
“You’re my only friend now, President Skeleton!”
“I
am
your friend, and I hear you loud and very clear!” said Persephone. “Too long have we been
stuck
with a self-imposed nonviolence law that has
denied
us the right to strike back against those who would exile and discard us! And that is why I ask you to vote today to repeal that law, and to join me on the first step toward a world in which there will be no more humans to banish us at will!”
Roars of agreement!
“Humans are
so
two thousand years ago!” said a senator.
“It’s all been downhill since the ancient
lapped it up
. The rallies werehuge, and some of the slogans—my word, if humans knew what was being said about them. But as Persephone Skeleton’s popularity increased, all of a sudden her message became
Let’s get BACK at the humans
. Of course, not everybody here wants violence, but those of us who don’t have to stick together, because we’re seen as antigovernment and antipatriotic.”
“Which is what you, Dr. Narwhal, and Vango are.”
“Dissenters, yes. That’s why we’re looking for ACORN.”
“What’s ACORN?”
“The Abstract Companion Organization for Resistance Now—A.C.O.R.N. Up until now, abstract companions have never been allowed to physically touch humans other than the people to whom they were assigned. But at the moment, President Skeleton is in the process of changing that law.”
“Dwack?”
“Yes?”
“Where are Dr. Narwhal and Vango?”
Dwack stopped and looked around, scanning the rocky landscape. Dr. Narwhal and Vango
had
disappeared.
“Don’t yell for them,” said Dwack. “If there are unsavory characters out there, the last thing we want to do is let them know where we are….”
“They might already know where we are,” said Ted.
“Why do you say that?”
“Look up.”
Dwack looked up.
Dozens of ab-coms were standing on the colossal boulders surrounding them, but Dwack could only make out their silhouettes, because he was staring into the sun. In the middle of the silhouettes, he could see a large squiggling bag, which, if hehad to guess, probably had Dr. Narwhal inside. Next to the large bag was a smaller bag that wasn’t moving much at all. Vango wasn’t struggling.
“A well-planned ambush,” whispered Dwack. “I can probably fight off five of them. How many do you think you can take?”
“None,” whispered Ted. “I’m a terrible fighter.”
“Well,” said Dwack, “perhaps we should surrender, then.”
IX
“Ladies, gentlemen, and creatures—all you giant slugs and snails and the like—of the Senate!” said a proboscis monkey wearing a sequined jacket. “If you’ve got hands, please put them together and welcome the beautiful, newly elected PRESIDENT PERSEPHONE SKELETON, BECAUSE SHE IS HERE TONIGHT!”
The Senate chamber erupted into applause as Persephone entered and walked to the raised podium where the president traditionally addressed the Senate. A freshly painted portrait of her hung on the wall behind her head, and in front of her, the hall was filled with 750 senators hailing from all over Middlemost. They had come together to welcome their new leader. And to cast today’s crucial vote.
Persephone looked over her audience with her empty eye sockets, at the adoring faces of her government colleagues as they waited for her to speak, and at the few individuals who seemed dismayed by her new leadership role. She stared at these dissenters.
Mental note: Have all the non-adorers killed
.
Another mental note: As soon as possible
.
“Senators of Middlemost!” shrieked Persephone. “Today we write a new page in the history of Middlemost. Too long have we allowed ourselves to be pushed around and tossed aside by the humans who claimed to be our
friends!”
Cheers from the Senate!
“My human pushed me down the laundry chute!” said a senator.
“Mine tried to eat me!” said an admittedly delicious-looking turkey senator.
“You’re my only friend now, President Skeleton!”
“I
am
your friend, and I hear you loud and very clear!” said Persephone. “Too long have we been
stuck
with a self-imposed nonviolence law that has
denied
us the right to strike back against those who would exile and discard us! And that is why I ask you to vote today to repeal that law, and to join me on the first step toward a world in which there will be no more humans to banish us at will!”
Roars of agreement!
“Humans are
so
two thousand years ago!” said a senator.
“It’s all been downhill since the ancient
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