School Run by Sophie King

all the decisions and choices she could and couldn’t make were tying her stomach in knots. She didn’t want to go home either. When the children were there, the noise drove her mad, but the silence when they were at school was worse. It made her think and she’d done enough of that already this morning.
    She’d go to the gym. If she hurried, she’d just make the yoga class she sometimes went to with Pippa. Harriet nipped back to the car to collect her leotard from the boot and jogged across the road to Fit For Life, the gym that had opened the previous year. There was another a little further down the high street, but Harriet preferred this one. It was lighter and brighter but, most importantly, all the instructors had a positive outlook. Harriet always came away feeling better about herself.
    She flashed her membership card at the girl on the desk, then changed swiftly and made her way to the yoga class, which was held in an airy room with mirrors down one side.
    Sara, the instructor, who was wearing a pink T-shirt with Fun , Fearless , Female printed on it, smiled at her. ‘Come on in, we’ve only just started.’
    Harriet found a space towards the back. She had been to enough classes to know what to do, and the easy pattern her body fell into helped her mind to relax. The music was soft and calming. If she closed her eyes, she could pretend that Charlie wasn’t coming back this week, that life would go on in the normal way. Normal? Harriet felt a shock go through her. Yes, in a strange way, life had become normal during Charlie’s absence. Did that mean she could cope without him?
    ‘Raise your right hand and stretch gently to the right,’ said Sara, through her microphone. Harriet followed the girl in front. Perhaps she should get a mike to use on the kids. It might make them listen to her. She smiled: that was better. Then she caught sight of herself in the mirror: her face looked taut and her breasts non-existent. She stopped smiling. Was that why Charlie had gone off her – because he didn’t find her attractive any more? After breastfeeding Kate her breasts had gone down two sizes, but there was nothing she could do about that, except wear balcony bras. Implants seemed too scary – and artificial.
    She looked at the other women in the class. They all appeared serene and, worse, were full-chested. Was the woman who had sent the text well endowed? Or did Charlie find her more intellectually stimulating than a wife who was at home all day with the kids?
    The thought bothered her through the rest of the class and she came away without that lovely feeling of well-being. Something else worried her too. When she’d looked in the mirror and seen her taut face, she’d been reminded of her mother. Would she turn into her if Charlie left?
    Harriet got back into the car and fished out her mobile. She rang her mother at least once a week, but with the panic of Charlie coming back, she hadn’t spoken to her for several days. ‘Mum, it’s me. Hi. How are you?’
    ‘Fine, darling. And how about you?’
    Her mother sounded bright but she might be putting it on.
    Harriet knew she found it hard to be on her own and wished she didn’t live so far away. She, and sometimes Charlie, took the children to see her at least four times a year but Sussex was a good two-and-a-half-hour drive from here, depending on traffic.
    ‘Fine. I’ve just been to the gym and now I’ve got to tackle Waitrose.’
    ‘Isn’t Charlie coming back this week?’
    ‘Yes. On Friday.’ Harriet tried to think of something neutral to say. She hadn’t told her mother about their problems and didn’t want to burden her with them – she was in her late sixties, after all. Besides, her mother had always liked Charlie and it would be hard to admit that things weren’t right.
    ‘It will be lovely for you, darling, to have him back.’
    ‘Yes. Yes, it will. What have you been doing this week?’
    ‘Oh, quite a lot. We had our weekly walk