Tonight was special and you just need to give me time.”
“I can’t do it Gavin. I’m sorry. I don’t have the guts to wait this out and wonder if what I am doing is right or wrong. I need to move on. There will never be an us. You know it as well as I do. Please go home to your wife and leave me alone.” I beg him.
Letting out a defeated sigh, he leaves the bedroom hanging his head. “I love you Jordan. Nothing you can say or do will change that.” Then I hear the front door shut. I lay in bed in a dreary haze for what seems like hours before I get up and go lock the house up.
Forget about him. It can never be….no matter how much you love him. He has moved on and there is never any future in the past.
CHAPTER 11
Spring 2000
I get up at the crack of dawn every morning and get the kids ready for the day. One goes to daycare, the other goes to kindergarten. Five days a week, I am to be in class by eight a.m. and learn. Then, I leave school my two thirty p.m. to pick up kids from school and daycare. I head home, change clothes, then take the kids to the night time babysitter before I am off to work for the next eight hours. By the time I get home it is almost midnight; I get the kids to go back to bed before I shower and settle in to complete homework. Wake up the next morning and do it all over again.
Damn, has my life changed over the last two months. I stay so busy that I actually have to carry an agenda around to make sure I keep up with all the schedules and assignments. It’s pretty rough now, I feel like I hardly get to spend any time with the kids. Hopefully all of this will pay off in the end.
I have managed to cut all ties with Gavin, not that he didn’t try his best to break me down. Even after two months I still have to fight myself and avoid his phone calls. There have been a few times when I was up late doing homework that I saw him creep by the house. My heart breaks every time he rides by but I know this is for the best.
After a month of feeling like the only conversations I have are with my children, my instructors, my boss, and my customers; I finally gave in and had my aunt give my phone number to the guy she was trying to get me hooked up with at Christmas. The only real contact we have had have been a few phone conversations here and there. I really does feel good to have someone outside this little circle I have built that I can talk to. It also helps keep me from breaking and giving in to Gavin.
Jace seems like a good guy on the phone and we have met for lunch a few times but no real dates, not for lack of trying on his part though. His birthday is next week so I finally gave in to his persistence and agreed to take him out to eat dinner for his birthday; friendly basis only though. I don’t have time for anything more than friendship at this point in my life. Hell, I am having a hard enough time getting Greg to sign the divorce papers I sent him last month.
A Ω A Ω A Ω
Since this is supposed to be a casual date to celebrate my “friends” birthday, we decide to eat at a local restaurant before meeting up with a few more people and go out to a club. I talked mom into letting the kids stay overnight at her house so I can enjoy the first night I have had out in over two months. As busy as I have been lately, this night is desperately needed.
Jace and I agree on Mexican food for dinner and drinks. San Felipe has the best menu compared to the other like restaurants in town and they also have the biggest margaritas I have ever seen. During dinner we have easy conversation about nothing in particular and laugh at each others stupid jokes. The more alcohol we consume, the funnier the jokes get. I find Jace easy to talk to and fun to be around and really begin to like him when he doesn’t get upset about the embarrassing display of “Happy Birthday” I had arranged to be sung throughout the restaurant.
After dinner
“I can’t do it Gavin. I’m sorry. I don’t have the guts to wait this out and wonder if what I am doing is right or wrong. I need to move on. There will never be an us. You know it as well as I do. Please go home to your wife and leave me alone.” I beg him.
Letting out a defeated sigh, he leaves the bedroom hanging his head. “I love you Jordan. Nothing you can say or do will change that.” Then I hear the front door shut. I lay in bed in a dreary haze for what seems like hours before I get up and go lock the house up.
Forget about him. It can never be….no matter how much you love him. He has moved on and there is never any future in the past.
CHAPTER 11
Spring 2000
I get up at the crack of dawn every morning and get the kids ready for the day. One goes to daycare, the other goes to kindergarten. Five days a week, I am to be in class by eight a.m. and learn. Then, I leave school my two thirty p.m. to pick up kids from school and daycare. I head home, change clothes, then take the kids to the night time babysitter before I am off to work for the next eight hours. By the time I get home it is almost midnight; I get the kids to go back to bed before I shower and settle in to complete homework. Wake up the next morning and do it all over again.
Damn, has my life changed over the last two months. I stay so busy that I actually have to carry an agenda around to make sure I keep up with all the schedules and assignments. It’s pretty rough now, I feel like I hardly get to spend any time with the kids. Hopefully all of this will pay off in the end.
I have managed to cut all ties with Gavin, not that he didn’t try his best to break me down. Even after two months I still have to fight myself and avoid his phone calls. There have been a few times when I was up late doing homework that I saw him creep by the house. My heart breaks every time he rides by but I know this is for the best.
After a month of feeling like the only conversations I have are with my children, my instructors, my boss, and my customers; I finally gave in and had my aunt give my phone number to the guy she was trying to get me hooked up with at Christmas. The only real contact we have had have been a few phone conversations here and there. I really does feel good to have someone outside this little circle I have built that I can talk to. It also helps keep me from breaking and giving in to Gavin.
Jace seems like a good guy on the phone and we have met for lunch a few times but no real dates, not for lack of trying on his part though. His birthday is next week so I finally gave in to his persistence and agreed to take him out to eat dinner for his birthday; friendly basis only though. I don’t have time for anything more than friendship at this point in my life. Hell, I am having a hard enough time getting Greg to sign the divorce papers I sent him last month.
A Ω A Ω A Ω
Since this is supposed to be a casual date to celebrate my “friends” birthday, we decide to eat at a local restaurant before meeting up with a few more people and go out to a club. I talked mom into letting the kids stay overnight at her house so I can enjoy the first night I have had out in over two months. As busy as I have been lately, this night is desperately needed.
Jace and I agree on Mexican food for dinner and drinks. San Felipe has the best menu compared to the other like restaurants in town and they also have the biggest margaritas I have ever seen. During dinner we have easy conversation about nothing in particular and laugh at each others stupid jokes. The more alcohol we consume, the funnier the jokes get. I find Jace easy to talk to and fun to be around and really begin to like him when he doesn’t get upset about the embarrassing display of “Happy Birthday” I had arranged to be sung throughout the restaurant.
After dinner
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