Salvation by Noelle Adams

water on my face before heading toward the kitchen for coffee.
    I jerked to a stop in surprise when I stepped into the living area and saw that Gideon was still here, lying on the couch, sound asleep, covered with the blanket I’d been using the night before.
    I’d assumed he would have gone home to try to recover after such a long night, but he was definitely still here. I could even hear his even breathing from where I stood.
    For more than a minute, I gazed at him. His hair was sticking out on end, and he needed to shave. His long legs were bent up awkwardly as he tried to fit on a couch he was too big for. And one of his arms was out from under the blanket, his hand fisted in the plush fabric.
    And I felt the strangest thing. The most unexpected thing. It had been so long since I’d experienced it I almost didn’t recognize what it was.
    It was a rush of affection. Of fondness. I was suddenly overwhelmed with how much I genuinely cared about this man.
    Of course, I’d always known how much I admired him, appreciated him, recognized good qualities about it. Even that I liked to be around him more than other people. But, for the last few months, I’d been so completely consumed with trying to make it through every day that I hadn’t had room in my heart for anything extra. Even something as normal and simple as human affection.
    The feeling was so strong and so unexpected that it rocked me. It took me a minute to orient myself to it.
    When I could breathe again, I continued into the kitchen, since I definitely needed some coffee now.
    It was okay, I realized as I brewed myself a cup from my fancy machine. It was good. It had been scary at first, but now the feeling was growing familiar again, like an old friend.
    Gideon deserved my affection. It was wrong not to give it to him. I felt almost excited as I took my first sip. Like I was a tiny step better than I’d been yesterday. Like I’d made progress.
    I stepped out of the kitchen to watch him sleep again, but I’d only taken a couple of sips when his eyes opened.
    He looked groggy, but he smiled as he saw me.
    I smiled back, feeling that wave of affection again.
    His smile deepened in response to mine, and we just smiled at each other like dopes for a minute.
    Then he finally seemed to wake up all the way and process where he was. “Fuck, what time is it?” he asked, straightening up and pushing down the blanket to his lap.
    “Just after eight. Do you want a cup of coffee?”
    “Yeah. That would be great. Thanks.”
    I turned around and headed to the kitchen, but then I heard him get up and walk to the bathroom. He was in there a few minutes so I looked through my cabinets and refrigerator to discover if there was something better than cereal for breakfast. There wasn’t.
    When he was done in the bathroom, I brought him his coffee and sat down on the couch. He was standing over me, like he wasn’t sure what to do.
    I frowned. “What’s the matter?”
    “Nothing.” He lowered himself beside me and picked up his mug. “How are you feeling?”
    “Okay. Kind of sore.”
    He nodded, obviously unsurprised by this fact.
    “You didn’t have to stay here,” I told him. “I know there wasn’t much room on the couch. Did you sleep all right?”
    “Yeah. It was fine. It was really late, and I was tired. I hope it was all right that I stayed.”
    “Of course. Of course, it was all right. I...”
    He tilted his head, trying to see my expression which I was futilely trying to hide with my messy hair. “You what?”
    “I...I wanted to thank you. For last night, I mean. It was more than... I mean, you were amazing. So thank you.”
    I must have sounded like an idiot, but he didn’t seem to mind. His face softened. “You’re welcome. I’m glad I was here.”
    There was a silence that followed, as if he were waiting for me to respond, to say something else. I didn’t, though. I had no idea what to say.
    I winced as I rolled my ankle, which was throbbing