to rip the blow dryer off the wall, and it cost me $150. He still owes me the money to this day.
Six
Good (and Bad) Eats
“When you’re on the road, it’s not just about finding something to eat . . . it’s about making sure it doesn’t come back to get you.”
—CHAVO GUERRERO
Finding something to eat at four in the morning can be a challenge. Scratch that—finding something healthy to eat at four in the morning is the real challenge. “I’m a big fan of the Wendy’s Baconator,” Kane confesses with a laugh. Make that a Double and we’re talking almost 1,000 calories and 2,260 mg of sodium in one meal . . . and that doesn’t even count fries and a drink. Yikes. “That’s one of the worst parts about life on the road, all the fast food you end up eating as you travel from one stop to the next,” he says. Then again, when you’re a WWE wrestler, sometimes finding a place to sit down and eat healthy is only half the battle. The other half? Eating with each other.
One Man’s Trash . . .
The Miz
I used to travel with Elijah Burke, and let me tell you, Elijah Burke is a character. Whenever we were on the road, we would stop at Cracker Barrel or Denny’s or a Waffle House, whatever we could find open late at night. And every time Elijah would sit down, he would immediately ask the waitress for a glass of hot water. She would bring the hot water, and he would stick all of his silverware into the hot water. I’d ask him why, and he’d say, “Daddy, have you seen the silverware here? There are spots everywhere on it.” Okay, I’ll let that go. But then we would get our food, and I would have some extra fries left. Now, if you’re a nice guy at the table and you have extra fries, you always ask the other person at your table, “Do you want my fries?” That’s the nice thing to do. So here I am, “Elijah, would you like my fries?” And he’s like, “How dare you, Daddy!” He’s screaming at me in the middle of a restaurant, and all of these old people inside Cracker Barrel start turning around wondering what’s happening. “How dare you offer me trash! That is your trash!” Elijah is screaming at me. “That is your trash, Daddy!”
I’m like, “Elijah, this isn’t my trash. I’m done eating it.” And he says, “You’re done eating it? Well, where does it go when you’re done eating it?” So I tell him, “Well, when the waitress takes it, she puts it in the trash.”
“That’s right,” he says. “She puts it in the trash.”
So we actually went around and started an argument through the entire restaurant whether extra fries on a plate are trash. We’re asking all of these old women, like, “Ma’am, excuse me, but if I had extra fries and I was offering them to you, would that be me offering you trash?” And this one little old lady tells us, “No, I don’t think so.” And Elijah yells out, “Are you kidding! That is trash. You’re telling me you would eat this man’s trash?” This poor lady is like, “Well, I wouldn’t eat his fries because I don’t really know him, but I would eat my husband’s fries.”
Elijah just looks at her and says, “I can’t believe you eat trash. That is disgusting.”
Needless to say, I can’t believe this guy. He’s incredible. But that’s not where the weird late-night food stories end with Elijah Burke. This other night we go to Denny’s, and let me tell you, Elijah loves carrot cake. “Love” might not even be a strong enough word for how Elijah feels about carrot cake. Anyway, the waitress comes over after our meal and asks us if we’d like dessert. “I’d love dessert. In fact, I’d love carrot cake. Thank you very much,” he says. Then she asks me if I want dessert, but I tell her I’m full and that I don’t want anything. Elijah can’t believe I didn’t want anything. “Daddy, she’s giving us free carrot cake.”
“Elijah, she’s not giving us free carrot cake.”
“But she offered it to
Six
Good (and Bad) Eats
“When you’re on the road, it’s not just about finding something to eat . . . it’s about making sure it doesn’t come back to get you.”
—CHAVO GUERRERO
Finding something to eat at four in the morning can be a challenge. Scratch that—finding something healthy to eat at four in the morning is the real challenge. “I’m a big fan of the Wendy’s Baconator,” Kane confesses with a laugh. Make that a Double and we’re talking almost 1,000 calories and 2,260 mg of sodium in one meal . . . and that doesn’t even count fries and a drink. Yikes. “That’s one of the worst parts about life on the road, all the fast food you end up eating as you travel from one stop to the next,” he says. Then again, when you’re a WWE wrestler, sometimes finding a place to sit down and eat healthy is only half the battle. The other half? Eating with each other.
One Man’s Trash . . .
The Miz
I used to travel with Elijah Burke, and let me tell you, Elijah Burke is a character. Whenever we were on the road, we would stop at Cracker Barrel or Denny’s or a Waffle House, whatever we could find open late at night. And every time Elijah would sit down, he would immediately ask the waitress for a glass of hot water. She would bring the hot water, and he would stick all of his silverware into the hot water. I’d ask him why, and he’d say, “Daddy, have you seen the silverware here? There are spots everywhere on it.” Okay, I’ll let that go. But then we would get our food, and I would have some extra fries left. Now, if you’re a nice guy at the table and you have extra fries, you always ask the other person at your table, “Do you want my fries?” That’s the nice thing to do. So here I am, “Elijah, would you like my fries?” And he’s like, “How dare you, Daddy!” He’s screaming at me in the middle of a restaurant, and all of these old people inside Cracker Barrel start turning around wondering what’s happening. “How dare you offer me trash! That is your trash!” Elijah is screaming at me. “That is your trash, Daddy!”
I’m like, “Elijah, this isn’t my trash. I’m done eating it.” And he says, “You’re done eating it? Well, where does it go when you’re done eating it?” So I tell him, “Well, when the waitress takes it, she puts it in the trash.”
“That’s right,” he says. “She puts it in the trash.”
So we actually went around and started an argument through the entire restaurant whether extra fries on a plate are trash. We’re asking all of these old women, like, “Ma’am, excuse me, but if I had extra fries and I was offering them to you, would that be me offering you trash?” And this one little old lady tells us, “No, I don’t think so.” And Elijah yells out, “Are you kidding! That is trash. You’re telling me you would eat this man’s trash?” This poor lady is like, “Well, I wouldn’t eat his fries because I don’t really know him, but I would eat my husband’s fries.”
Elijah just looks at her and says, “I can’t believe you eat trash. That is disgusting.”
Needless to say, I can’t believe this guy. He’s incredible. But that’s not where the weird late-night food stories end with Elijah Burke. This other night we go to Denny’s, and let me tell you, Elijah loves carrot cake. “Love” might not even be a strong enough word for how Elijah feels about carrot cake. Anyway, the waitress comes over after our meal and asks us if we’d like dessert. “I’d love dessert. In fact, I’d love carrot cake. Thank you very much,” he says. Then she asks me if I want dessert, but I tell her I’m full and that I don’t want anything. Elijah can’t believe I didn’t want anything. “Daddy, she’s giving us free carrot cake.”
“Elijah, she’s not giving us free carrot cake.”
“But she offered it to
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