shopping or something.â She looked glumly at Anne-Marie, and I tried to imagine the torture sheâd been going through, waiting for me.
âIâm sorry Iâm late,â I said to Anne-Marie. âItâs just that my scripts came andââ
âBlah, blah, blah,â Anne-Marie interrupted me, flapping her hands like a duckâs beak. âIâm so important, yak, yak, yak, who cares about anybody else.â She rolled her eyes. âYou canât pull your prima-donna stunts here, OK? If you want my help, you turn up when you say youâre going to turn up. I have plans later, you know. I do actually have a life. Now, tell me what this scene is that youâre too stupid to be able to act and letâs get on with it.â
I tried to smile, but suddenly the thought of going through with this plan seemed more ridiculous than ever. All I could think was that I needed to escape somehow. I needed to get us out of there before Nydia told her the whole story.
âYour house is amazing,â I said, hoping to stall her with some small talk while I thought of a way to escape. âWhere are your parents?â
Anne-Marie looked bored. âDadâs in LA. Again. Mumâs in Milan until next week, and then sheâs going to Tokyo. My brother, Chris, is in Ladbroke Grove staying at his girlfriendâs place, as usual.â
I frowned. âSo youâre living here in this enormous house on your own?â I asked, not sure if that was really great or really terrible. âIs that even legal at our age?â
âNo, idiot. Iâm not on my own. Pilar, the housekeeper, lives here too. And the man who does the gardening comes in every day. Chris is supposed to be here, but he never is. Itâs no big deal,â she said breezily, her eyes masked by her shades.
âBut â¦arenât you lonely?â I asked her.
She pushed up her sunglasses and shook her head. For a moment she looked sort of smaller and youngerâmore like an average thirteen-year-old girl instead of a hard-as-nails vixen. Then she opened her mouth.
âOf course Iâm not lonely ! Iâve got hundreds of friends, and a boyfriend whoâs coming over later. You and sad sack here are the lonely ones. Anyway, I donât mind. It means I can do what I like.â She sat up and looked directly at me. âIt means I can have people like you over with no one having to know about it. Now, stop trying to stall and tell me what it is you want. Otherwise Iâll be so bored youâll have to leave before I slip into a coma.â
And then I knew it was too late. I wasnât getting out of this plan.
So we told her. Well, actually, Nydia told her. First Anne-Marie looked horrified, then delighted, and then she just laughed and laughed and laughed until she went pink from her ears down. Either that or she hadnât put any sunblock on.
âOh my God!â she shrieked as she reached for her phone. âJust wait until Jade hears about this!â
Nydia reached out her hand in a stopping motion. âHang on. Remember what we agreed,â she said, sounding quite cross for her, but not cross enough to stop Anne-Marie.
âThat was before I knew what you wanted me to do. You want me to teach her how to kiss. Me? You must think Iâm crazy. I always thought you two were weird. Youâre probably lesbians.â She keyed in Jadeâs number and held the phone to her ear. âThis is brilliant,â she said as she waited for Jade to pick up.
I looked at Nydia, wide-eyed with panic, waiting for her to come up with one of her plans. She didnât. She just sat there as if she were frozen solid, even under the heat of the sun.
âOK,â I said, desperately trying to act as if I didnât care. âOK, fine. Iâll just cancel the meeting I made for you next week with our producer, Liz Hornby, then.â
Anne-Marieâs laugh froze on her
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