Ruby Parker Hits the Small Time by Rowan Coleman

shopping or something.” She looked glumly at Anne-Marie, and I tried to imagine the torture she’d been going through, waiting for me.
    â€œI’m sorry I’m late,” I said to Anne-Marie. “It’s just that my scripts came and—”
    â€œBlah, blah, blah,” Anne-Marie interrupted me, flapping her hands like a duck’s beak. “I’m so important, yak, yak, yak, who cares about anybody else.” She rolled her eyes. “You can’t pull your prima-donna stunts here, OK? If you want my help, you turn up when you say you’re going to turn up. I have plans later, you know. I do actually have a life. Now, tell me what this scene is that you’re too stupid to be able to act and let’s get on with it.”
    I tried to smile, but suddenly the thought of going through with this plan seemed more ridiculous than ever. All I could think was that I needed to escape somehow. I needed to get us out of there before Nydia told her the whole story.
    â€œYour house is amazing,” I said, hoping to stall her with some small talk while I thought of a way to escape. “Where are your parents?”
    Anne-Marie looked bored. “Dad’s in LA. Again. Mum’s in Milan until next week, and then she’s going to Tokyo. My brother, Chris, is in Ladbroke Grove staying at his girlfriend’s place, as usual.”
    I frowned. “So you’re living here in this enormous house on your own?” I asked, not sure if that was really great or really terrible. “Is that even legal at our age?”
    â€œNo, idiot. I’m not on my own. Pilar, the housekeeper, lives here too. And the man who does the gardening comes in every day. Chris is supposed to be here, but he never is. It’s no big deal,” she said breezily, her eyes masked by her shades.
    â€œBut …aren’t you lonely?” I asked her.
    She pushed up her sunglasses and shook her head. For a moment she looked sort of smaller and younger—more like an average thirteen-year-old girl instead of a hard-as-nails vixen. Then she opened her mouth.
    â€œOf course I’m not lonely ! I’ve got hundreds of friends, and a boyfriend who’s coming over later. You and sad sack here are the lonely ones. Anyway, I don’t mind. It means I can do what I like.” She sat up and looked directly at me. “It means I can have people like you over with no one having to know about it. Now, stop trying to stall and tell me what it is you want. Otherwise I’ll be so bored you’ll have to leave before I slip into a coma.”
    And then I knew it was too late. I wasn’t getting out of this plan.
    So we told her. Well, actually, Nydia told her. First Anne-Marie looked horrified, then delighted, and then she just laughed and laughed and laughed until she went pink from her ears down. Either that or she hadn’t put any sunblock on.
    â€œOh my God!” she shrieked as she reached for her phone. “Just wait until Jade hears about this!”
    Nydia reached out her hand in a stopping motion. “Hang on. Remember what we agreed,” she said, sounding quite cross for her, but not cross enough to stop Anne-Marie.
    â€œThat was before I knew what you wanted me to do. You want me to teach her how to kiss. Me? You must think I’m crazy. I always thought you two were weird. You’re probably lesbians.” She keyed in Jade’s number and held the phone to her ear. “This is brilliant,” she said as she waited for Jade to pick up.
    I looked at Nydia, wide-eyed with panic, waiting for her to come up with one of her plans. She didn’t. She just sat there as if she were frozen solid, even under the heat of the sun.
    â€œOK,” I said, desperately trying to act as if I didn’t care. “OK, fine. I’ll just cancel the meeting I made for you next week with our producer, Liz Hornby, then.”
    Anne-Marie’s laugh froze on her