Rodeo (BBW Cowboy Romance) (BBW Western Romance) by Cristina Grenier

that I'd moved on … a ridiculous endeavor perhaps but personally it made me feel a bit better.  I had to discourage rather than encourage, I was a married woman after all and in spite of John's discourse, I wasn't here to rekindle a romance that hadn't been enough for me in the first place.  However, even my own integrity and loyalty was confusing me, it was too soon, my grandparents meant well in their welcoming soiree but being in the same company as Tommy was addling my mind.
     
    Battling with my thoughts, whether they developed into anything or not, I played a silent game of tug of war; I was having innocent, flirtatious fun with an old flame which was flattering, but, on the other hand if I was to continue, physically or mentally, it was a betrayal to John.  Had he been there with me then I would never behave in such a way, Tommy probably wouldn't have even attended but John wasn't there and our marriage was in crisis, I owed it to my vows at least to behave myself.
     
    I remembered happily how I had promised John at our wedding that 'through the good times and the bad times, I would stand by him and behave as a supportive wife.  I turned to Tommy, I had made my decision.
     
    “I'm turning in now Tommy, this isn't a good idea … and I know you're going to say that we're only having a drink … but, I'm married and we have history.  It's not appropriate … so, goodnight and I'm sure we see each other over the next couple of days.”
     
    Standing with the moonlight behind him I only saw Tommy's outline, I was unable to see the expression on his face as I explained myself and for that I was truly thankful.  I wasn't out to hurt him, I wasn't even sure it would hurt him but that would be delving too deeply into something that needn't be explored.
     
    At that very moment I needed to speak with John.  I went up to the farmhouse and retired to my room.  Unpacking my holdall I reached for my laptop, if I was to try and speak with John I would try to Skype him, it was necessary for me to see his face, to observe his happiness or his irritation at speaking with me.  This may have seemed a very black and white way of looking at this particular situation but I had to see.
     
    The call connected and I listened with trepidation as the line continued to ring out, just when I thought it was going to disconnect, John answered.  It took a couple of seconds for the connection to settle down but there he was.
     
    “Eva, you got there safely then?” He was in his study, I could see the familiar backdrop to his desk in the background.  Surrounded by glass cabinets displaying all of John's football trophies and sports medals; he always insisted that having these inadvertently on show whilst Skypeing his colleagues were an intimidator tactic on his behalf, I personally don't think anyone really took any notice but I humored him all the same.
     
    “I know I came away to give us some space John but I just had to speak to you … “
     
    I noticed John shift uncomfortably in his chair, I then noticed something else, something that jolted me slightly … in one of the display cabinet reflections I saw a figure; John wasn't alone.  I decided against asking him straight away.
     
    “Are you working from home … did I disturb you?”  I enquired as casually as possible.
    “No, I've done all I need to do today, you caught me just before I was going up to bed, I'm at the Mercer Conference all day tomorrow so it's going to be a full on day, so … if there's nothing important Eva, I should go and get some sleep.”
     
    As he finished his sentence I watched as the figure moved, I couldn't get a good look but I saw that whoever it was, she was wearing a white bra and panties.  I was lost for words, but John was quick to speak,
     
    “Maybe we can catch up tomorrow Eva … but now, I have to go.  Night,” and before I was even able to reply, the line was disconnected.  I sat in silence, fighting back tears.  Was this