this guy sure is on a mission to put me in my place. “I told you the innocent shit won’t work with me. I know you, I know what you are like with other women and I’m also damn sure that Sophie is so different to anyone else you have been with. We’ve been friends for a long time and I probably know you better than you know yourself. I see the way you are around her. You are different, any other girl and you would have had them thrown in the bedroom and screaming you’re name within minutes but not Sophie, why is that? If I am right about the way you are feeling, which I suspect I am why the hell did you tell her she would just be a convenient fuck? You’ve hurt her bad man.”
Blaine stopped and just stared, waiting for the truth.
I am busted. Fuck. Well here we go do or die. I have known Blaine like forever and he is not stupid I know I can’t lie any more to him than I can to myself any more.
“Blaine, you are right she is so different. I just love being around her. She just sees me, Josh. Not Josh Cairns, bad boy rocker and overall man whore. I am just a regular guy to her. Well I was, now I am just a regular asshole.” I sighed, bowing my head in shame. “This life we are living I wouldn’t change it for the world but we are public property, these fucking people think that they own us, that they have every right to touch us, demand photos every goddam minute and groupies who are so focussed on fucking us so they can run to the papers to have their fifteen minutes of fame. I love the music don’t get me wrong, it’s my passion. I couldn’t live without it but it’s just a game to these morons. They don’t fucking care that we are actually people, it’s all about fame and money to them. That’s what I love about Sophie, she has such high morals and wouldn’t just give in to me the first moment we met and she is not interested in the money or the fame. She wants me for me. Plus there’s so much chemistry between us it fucking kills me.”
Being honest felt good. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Blaine just sat there wide eyed, he knew that I had it bad but the look on his face said he didn’t know it was this bad. “Wow, Josh I…..” He was cut off suddenly when Mickey stormed in the room.
“Well aint this fucking sweet. Did Josh tell you how he tried to break my face last night? He wants to get that temper under check. I have to keep my good looks for my sex hungry fans you know. He also needs to keep that woman of his on a tight leash. If he doesn’t you never know where the little girl may stray to.”
“You keep your fucking mouth closed about Sophie. She would never be interested in you. Fuck knows where you have been!”
“Same place as you Josh or have you forgotten about that?
“Mickey there is nothing that you can tell Sophie now that would make a blind bit of difference. I have fucked up with her and it was due to my own stupidity, so go ahead and do your worst. She can’t hate me any more than I hate myself.” Mickey is now standing toe to toe with me and I’m faced with the results of last night. He has a pretty impressive black eye.
“Oh Josh I intend to do my worst all right. Make no mistake about it. She will end up in my bed before the end of the tour and I can’t wait to see how much it destroys you.” I can feel the anger bubble up within me and just as I contemplate giving him another black eye to match Blaine intervenes.
“You two need to cut this shit out. Our future depends on the success of this tour. If we are all fighting we won’t get anywhere. Now shake hands and get over it.”
Mickey gives me his hand to shake and I do so grudgingly, this is far from over and both of us know it. Mickey won’t rest until he gets what he wants and I won’t rest until I finally have Sophie in my arms. He makes me so angry; it’s not as if he even has feelings for Sophie.
Sophie
I spend a lifetime in the shower trying to rid my body of the
Blaine stopped and just stared, waiting for the truth.
I am busted. Fuck. Well here we go do or die. I have known Blaine like forever and he is not stupid I know I can’t lie any more to him than I can to myself any more.
“Blaine, you are right she is so different. I just love being around her. She just sees me, Josh. Not Josh Cairns, bad boy rocker and overall man whore. I am just a regular guy to her. Well I was, now I am just a regular asshole.” I sighed, bowing my head in shame. “This life we are living I wouldn’t change it for the world but we are public property, these fucking people think that they own us, that they have every right to touch us, demand photos every goddam minute and groupies who are so focussed on fucking us so they can run to the papers to have their fifteen minutes of fame. I love the music don’t get me wrong, it’s my passion. I couldn’t live without it but it’s just a game to these morons. They don’t fucking care that we are actually people, it’s all about fame and money to them. That’s what I love about Sophie, she has such high morals and wouldn’t just give in to me the first moment we met and she is not interested in the money or the fame. She wants me for me. Plus there’s so much chemistry between us it fucking kills me.”
Being honest felt good. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Blaine just sat there wide eyed, he knew that I had it bad but the look on his face said he didn’t know it was this bad. “Wow, Josh I…..” He was cut off suddenly when Mickey stormed in the room.
“Well aint this fucking sweet. Did Josh tell you how he tried to break my face last night? He wants to get that temper under check. I have to keep my good looks for my sex hungry fans you know. He also needs to keep that woman of his on a tight leash. If he doesn’t you never know where the little girl may stray to.”
“You keep your fucking mouth closed about Sophie. She would never be interested in you. Fuck knows where you have been!”
“Same place as you Josh or have you forgotten about that?
“Mickey there is nothing that you can tell Sophie now that would make a blind bit of difference. I have fucked up with her and it was due to my own stupidity, so go ahead and do your worst. She can’t hate me any more than I hate myself.” Mickey is now standing toe to toe with me and I’m faced with the results of last night. He has a pretty impressive black eye.
“Oh Josh I intend to do my worst all right. Make no mistake about it. She will end up in my bed before the end of the tour and I can’t wait to see how much it destroys you.” I can feel the anger bubble up within me and just as I contemplate giving him another black eye to match Blaine intervenes.
“You two need to cut this shit out. Our future depends on the success of this tour. If we are all fighting we won’t get anywhere. Now shake hands and get over it.”
Mickey gives me his hand to shake and I do so grudgingly, this is far from over and both of us know it. Mickey won’t rest until he gets what he wants and I won’t rest until I finally have Sophie in my arms. He makes me so angry; it’s not as if he even has feelings for Sophie.
Sophie
I spend a lifetime in the shower trying to rid my body of the
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