happen was a complete lack of judgement on his part; he won’t allow it to happen again. Josh and I can never be what I want us to be. I was going to be nothing more than a convenient fuck. He is on a bus with a bunch of guys and I’m the only woman around for miles so he thought why the hell not fuck her brains out. I wasn’t to make the mistake of thinking it was feelings of love or even that he cares about me. I mean absolutely nothing to him.” I remember the hurtful speech word for word.
“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Blaine storms out of the office and I’m left to consider how to deal with the events that will transpire today.
Chapter 8
Josh
“What the fuck Blaine?” I’m thrown off my feet and Blaine is holding me down by the shoulders with his right arm pulled back ready to beat the shit out of me if I don’t comply with his requests. Looks like I have really blown it this time. I’m a total screw up but even I know I have hurt Sophie beyond repair, and I fucking hate myself for it. I seriously just want to fuck her senseless. I think Blaine can see the conflict in my eyes and eases up off of me. I run both my hands through my hair and sigh at the great fucking mess I have made. If only I could get past the whole trust thing then maybe I could give my attraction to Sophie a proper chance at flourishing into something wonderful.
Who the fuck am I kidding? I have completely blown it now. She won’t want to be near me, not after breaking her heart without a second thought.
“Get the fuck up and sit on the god damned chair, you and I are going to have a little chat.” Blaine means business and I have no option but to do exactly what he says. Blaine is a very good friend and I don’t need him on my back. The disappointment in his eyes is upsetting to witness. I pull myself up off the cold hardwood floor and wander around to the stool beside the breakfast bar that Blaine is motioning me towards. I really could do without the pep talk today; we have so much other shit going on, what with our first gig in our tour being tonight
“Right dumbass, do you want to try and explain what the fuck you think you are playing at? What the hell is wrong with you?” Blaine has pure rage in his eyes. He is pissed for sure. I can tell I’m not going to get off with this lightly.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Blaine.” I say matter of factly.
“Don’t fucking start you’re innocent bullshit with me, Josh. I know and you know exactly what you have done. Why Sophie, huh? What the hell has she ever done to you? You are constantly playing with that poor girls feelings blowing hot and cold with her all the time. She is too good for you and you know it.” Ain’t that the truth. She is too good for me and she is an amazing girl but I think the damage is done, nothing I say to her now can ever repair it. Not that I am going to let Blaine know what I’m feeling any time soon.
“Blaine, you don’t know shit man. As for blowing hot and cold with her I have no idea what you mean.” Maybe if I stick with this tactic of not having a clue what he is on about he will leave me the hell alone to work this fucked up situation out by myself.
“The only person you are fooling here is yourself, Josh. Sophie told me what you did and god only knows what is stopping me from beating the crap out of you right now. Why did you say those words to her? You know and I know it was complete and utter bullshit, so why the hell would you hurt her like that? She is an amazing girl and doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.” He is right, she is amazing and beautiful and so much more than any other girl I have known. I still don’t get why she affects me so much. No other girl has ever made me feel this way. I usually just fuck and leave. The end. I’m Josh Cairns for crying out loud, that is what I do. I don’t do feelings!
“Blaine, I…”
“Cut the crap Josh before you even start.” Blaine cut me off,
“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Blaine storms out of the office and I’m left to consider how to deal with the events that will transpire today.
Chapter 8
Josh
“What the fuck Blaine?” I’m thrown off my feet and Blaine is holding me down by the shoulders with his right arm pulled back ready to beat the shit out of me if I don’t comply with his requests. Looks like I have really blown it this time. I’m a total screw up but even I know I have hurt Sophie beyond repair, and I fucking hate myself for it. I seriously just want to fuck her senseless. I think Blaine can see the conflict in my eyes and eases up off of me. I run both my hands through my hair and sigh at the great fucking mess I have made. If only I could get past the whole trust thing then maybe I could give my attraction to Sophie a proper chance at flourishing into something wonderful.
Who the fuck am I kidding? I have completely blown it now. She won’t want to be near me, not after breaking her heart without a second thought.
“Get the fuck up and sit on the god damned chair, you and I are going to have a little chat.” Blaine means business and I have no option but to do exactly what he says. Blaine is a very good friend and I don’t need him on my back. The disappointment in his eyes is upsetting to witness. I pull myself up off the cold hardwood floor and wander around to the stool beside the breakfast bar that Blaine is motioning me towards. I really could do without the pep talk today; we have so much other shit going on, what with our first gig in our tour being tonight
“Right dumbass, do you want to try and explain what the fuck you think you are playing at? What the hell is wrong with you?” Blaine has pure rage in his eyes. He is pissed for sure. I can tell I’m not going to get off with this lightly.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Blaine.” I say matter of factly.
“Don’t fucking start you’re innocent bullshit with me, Josh. I know and you know exactly what you have done. Why Sophie, huh? What the hell has she ever done to you? You are constantly playing with that poor girls feelings blowing hot and cold with her all the time. She is too good for you and you know it.” Ain’t that the truth. She is too good for me and she is an amazing girl but I think the damage is done, nothing I say to her now can ever repair it. Not that I am going to let Blaine know what I’m feeling any time soon.
“Blaine, you don’t know shit man. As for blowing hot and cold with her I have no idea what you mean.” Maybe if I stick with this tactic of not having a clue what he is on about he will leave me the hell alone to work this fucked up situation out by myself.
“The only person you are fooling here is yourself, Josh. Sophie told me what you did and god only knows what is stopping me from beating the crap out of you right now. Why did you say those words to her? You know and I know it was complete and utter bullshit, so why the hell would you hurt her like that? She is an amazing girl and doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.” He is right, she is amazing and beautiful and so much more than any other girl I have known. I still don’t get why she affects me so much. No other girl has ever made me feel this way. I usually just fuck and leave. The end. I’m Josh Cairns for crying out loud, that is what I do. I don’t do feelings!
“Blaine, I…”
“Cut the crap Josh before you even start.” Blaine cut me off,
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