Return by A.M. Sexton

enjoyed it as much as Rhianne
had?
    I thought I knew the answer, and it was one I
didn’t care to dwell on.
    Eventually, I rinsed out my mouth. I washed my
face. I didn’t return to the dining room, though. I went instead to
our bedroom where I sat on the bed, my head in my hands, wishing we
could leave. Wishing I could think of some way for us to escape
Gideon and Deliphine and the Dollhouse forever.
    Sometimes later — I had no idea how much time
had passed — Ayo let himself quietly into the room.
    “What happened to you?” he asked. “One minute
we were talking, and then…” He touched the spot behind his ear. “I
don’t know what happened. You were gone. He told me you’d be
here.”
    I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about
Gideon’s ability to trigger Ayo’s inert state, or his belief that
Ayo was less than human. “I didn’t feel well.”
    “Are you all right?”
    “I’ll be fine.” Eventually. When and if we
ever got a moment of peace.
    Outside, the sky had gone dark. I rose from
the bed and crossed to the window to scan the landscape of
Deliphine. The buildings were too high, too close together, too
dark, foreign in every possible way. Even the breeze blowing in
through the open window felt wrong. Everything reminded me how far
from home I really was, and how powerless I was in the place where
I knew no one. The desire to take Ayo and run was almost
overwhelming, but where would we go? What would we do when the
implant in his brain was telling him he couldn’t leave? We couldn’t
outrun it or fight it, but the idea of giving in to the Dollhouse
filled me with a terrible hopeless rage.
    I studied him in the waning light. He was
trying to be strong, but his eyes betrayed him. “How’s the
hook?”
    He cringed. His hand twitched, but he stopped
short of touching the spot behind his ear again. “It hurts, Misha.
It’s getting stronger.” His lip trembled, but he held strong. “I
hate it.”
    “I hate it too.” I took his hand and drew him
nearer, but he stopped short of coming into my arms. “What’s
wrong?” I asked.
    “I wouldn’t blame you if you were mad at
me.”
    “Why would I be?”
    He shrugged, not as indication that he didn’t
have an answer, but as if he had no way of putting it all into
words. “I’ve ruined everything.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “You went through so much to get me out, and
now…”
    He looked so small. So fragile and broken and
scared. I couldn’t do much, but I could at least reassure him in
this. “I’m frustrated,” I confessed, pulling him into my arms and
resting my cheek against his hair. “I feel like we’re trapped. But
it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
    He nodded, settling against me, and I held
him, kissing his curls, rocking him gently as the breeze from the
open window played over our skin. I tried to keep my thoughts pure.
To prevent the blood from flowing toward my groin, but I failed. I
wasn’t surprised when he stirred, his hand moving to the buttons of
my pants.
    He gazed up at me, resting his hand against my
erection. I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning.
    “Let me,” he said softly.
    But all I could think about was Gideon bending
Rhianne over the dinner table. When I closed my eyes, I saw Ayo in
his inert state, eyes utterly void of life, reaching for me with
his limp hand. I thought of the program, pushing him to please
me.
    “No,” I said, as gently as I could. I pulled
away, not letting him go, but putting an inch or two of space
between us.
    “I know what it’s like,” he whispered, “to
feel so much desire, so much arousal, and so much pleasure, but to
not go all the way. I know how much you must need it.”
    I winced at the truth of his words. It had
been too long since I’d allowed myself to climax. The last time had
been with Donato, and that realization brought its own wave of
guilt. But Ayo’s words had hit their mark. Goddess yes, I wanted to
come, but not like this. Not