Reason by Allyson Young

dealings, and felt it when she pushed him. It scared her a little, and she knew it kept him from telling her he loved her. But it also protected him, and she respected that, was glad he had it, for now she would use it to give him his freedom. He wouldn’t be able to tolerate rejection for any length of time, and his formidable pride, backed by that piece of flint, would save him from too much heartache when she left. She was terribly sad, heartbroken in fact, to think of leaving him, but it was the right thing to do. Jamison wouldn’t be complete without a family, now that he had set his mind on making a baby, and she wasn’t going to stand in his way. She owed him that. He had given her more that she had ever hoped for, let alone deserved. She would cherish the memory of their time together, but she wouldn’t be selfish and saddle Jamison with a barren wife. She carefully made up her face and went out to start to put her plan in action.
    Jamison was standing in the great room, his back to the fireplace, a glass in his hand. The amber liquid caught the glow from the sconces, and Ivone realized his hand was shaking, the liquor gently swirling in concert. Her steps faltered. Jami had himself under iron control, something she rarely saw anymore unless they were doing a scene. His eyes were fixed on her, their violet hue veiling his thoughts. Ivone suddenly wanted to run, knowing something momentous was coming down, something she wasn’t prepared for.
    “Feeling better?”
    Jamison’s quiet question nailed her feet to the floor. Ivone took a breath.
    “I am, thanks.”
    He turned to the fire, and she heard the glass thud onto the mantle, and then he had turned and was striding toward her with deadly intent. Ivone backed up, but he was upon her in an instant. He hauled her up against his chest and crushed her to him, taking her lips in a devastating kiss. Then he tore his mouth away and shook her, holding her by her upper arms, her feet off the floor. Ivone had opened her mouth to protest when Jamison set her down, only to scoop her up, cross the room and dump her in a chair. He knelt in front of her and took both of her hands in his.
    “I talked to the doctor, Ivone.”
    Ivone’s heart kicked up a notch, and she battled with instant anger that her privacy had been invaded. But then overwhelming relief drowned the anger. She wouldn’t have to pretend and see the man she loved struggle with her rejection. She just hoped that Jamison would be able to deal with it. She would still make it as easy as possible on him.
    “I know why you didn’t tell me.”
    How could he know? “What do you mean?” she asked carefully.
    “I know you were going to find a way to leave so that you wouldn’t disappoint me, Ivone, if you couldn’t conceive. Because you love me too much to let me down.”
    Ivone stared at her Dom in utter astonishment. Her heart swelled with hope, then cramped with fear. He wanted to terminate their contract rather than give her the opportunity to do so. He wasn’t ready for that. It had to be her fault for him to move past it with righteous anger and disdain. She heard him continue as if from a great distance.
    “I am so full of conflicting fucking feelings right now, sub, that I’m not sure what to share first. I’m humbled that you would do this for me, to spare me, but I’m pissed that you didn’t give me more credit, although I’ll own some of that because I still have a selfish streak. I find myself wishing I’d told you how much I love you instead of waiting for you to say it first. We are so fucked up, Ivone, you and I, by our pasts.”
    Ivone tried to respond, to say anything, but couldn’t push much more than a muttered “Oh” past her lips. Jamison gave her a dark look.
    “But right now I am so furious with you, Ivone, that I could spit. I thought there could be something terribly wrong with you, that you were sick with something that would take you away from me permanently! Goddamn it,