hold back, Viv.” He groans, his voice strained. It doesn’t take me long to moan his name as I come again and I feel the walls I had built around my heart shatter into a million of pieces. I’m in deep over my head. A few seconds later he finds his own release, moaning my name over and over, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, emptying himself in the condom. I wrap my arms around him, stroking his hair. I don’t what’s going on between us but I have a feeling that the wall I had built is not the only thing that will shatter.
“Feeling better?” I whisper, kissing his cheek.
“Yes. You?” he says out of breath.
“Yes, I’m good.” I caress his back, frowning when I feel something wet run down his back. I freeze when I see my bloody nails.
“Why did you stop? It felt good,” he actually whines and a giggle escapes my lips.
“Well, uh…looks like I was a bit rougher that I thought.” I bite my lip and hold my hand up for him to see my nails.
He chuckles and sits up, pulling out of me in the process. We both frown at the loss. “I don’t mind a bit of blood, Doll. I’ll be right back.” He pecks my lips, takes off the condom and walks to the bathroom.
I clean my hands with baby wipes and freshen up before settling back into bed. I was already confused with us having sex on Valentine’s Day but this? This has completely thrown me. What's he expecting from me? What does he want out of this, out of us? Is there even an us? Are we just fuck buddies? I have so many unanswered questions but I don’t see myself bringing this up right now.
Even though I feel like shit afterwards, I can’t stop, this is my only chance to feel happy and alive. For so long I’ve lived in the shadows, not living, just surviving but now I’m feeling again, but it’s with someone I should have forgotten about long ago
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, startling me.
“How is your back?” I look up at him, trying to change the conversation.
“My back is fine, I’ve had worse done to me, trust me.” He settles into bed with me and wraps me in his arms. “So? I could see the wheels in your head turning. What’s up?”
“Just thinking.” I sigh and shrug.
“You mean over thinking?”
“You could say that.” I kiss his chest.
“Stop analysing everything, Viv. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so let’s enjoy the time we do have. We both come alive when we are together, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m here because I want you for you, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Now let’s get some sleep. I have to be up early in the morning.” He kisses my head. I should answer him, but I’m afraid of what I might say. I don’t want to piss him off because of my feelings for him, I wish things were easier.
It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep, leaving me to my thoughts.
How does he expect me not to freak out when he’s with me so he can relive what he had with Annie. Anyone would feel this way. I know he won’t understand my point of view. I love my sister but she’s always had what I wanted. She was the perfect daughter, I was the wild one, so everybody gravitated towards her unlike me, I was the darker, edgier twin. Sure, I was a bit wild, definitely wilder than Annie but I never did anything bad. Guys were always more interested in Annie because she was the sweet and quiet one while I was more brash and loud. I had no problem saying what I thought, I didn’t care if I offended.
That was then, now I’m more like Annie. I’m a lot quieter while still giving shit if needed, maybe that’s why Gabe is interested in me all of a sudden, not only do I look like Annie but now I act more like her. From the moment I met Gabe, I felt something for him. It was weird and took me by surprise. I had never felt that way about anyone and it just had to be the one guy I couldn’t have. Annie thought he was hot but that was all there was to it for her, she wasn’t interested in him
“Feeling better?” I whisper, kissing his cheek.
“Yes. You?” he says out of breath.
“Yes, I’m good.” I caress his back, frowning when I feel something wet run down his back. I freeze when I see my bloody nails.
“Why did you stop? It felt good,” he actually whines and a giggle escapes my lips.
“Well, uh…looks like I was a bit rougher that I thought.” I bite my lip and hold my hand up for him to see my nails.
He chuckles and sits up, pulling out of me in the process. We both frown at the loss. “I don’t mind a bit of blood, Doll. I’ll be right back.” He pecks my lips, takes off the condom and walks to the bathroom.
I clean my hands with baby wipes and freshen up before settling back into bed. I was already confused with us having sex on Valentine’s Day but this? This has completely thrown me. What's he expecting from me? What does he want out of this, out of us? Is there even an us? Are we just fuck buddies? I have so many unanswered questions but I don’t see myself bringing this up right now.
Even though I feel like shit afterwards, I can’t stop, this is my only chance to feel happy and alive. For so long I’ve lived in the shadows, not living, just surviving but now I’m feeling again, but it’s with someone I should have forgotten about long ago
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, startling me.
“How is your back?” I look up at him, trying to change the conversation.
“My back is fine, I’ve had worse done to me, trust me.” He settles into bed with me and wraps me in his arms. “So? I could see the wheels in your head turning. What’s up?”
“Just thinking.” I sigh and shrug.
“You mean over thinking?”
“You could say that.” I kiss his chest.
“Stop analysing everything, Viv. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so let’s enjoy the time we do have. We both come alive when we are together, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m here because I want you for you, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Now let’s get some sleep. I have to be up early in the morning.” He kisses my head. I should answer him, but I’m afraid of what I might say. I don’t want to piss him off because of my feelings for him, I wish things were easier.
It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep, leaving me to my thoughts.
How does he expect me not to freak out when he’s with me so he can relive what he had with Annie. Anyone would feel this way. I know he won’t understand my point of view. I love my sister but she’s always had what I wanted. She was the perfect daughter, I was the wild one, so everybody gravitated towards her unlike me, I was the darker, edgier twin. Sure, I was a bit wild, definitely wilder than Annie but I never did anything bad. Guys were always more interested in Annie because she was the sweet and quiet one while I was more brash and loud. I had no problem saying what I thought, I didn’t care if I offended.
That was then, now I’m more like Annie. I’m a lot quieter while still giving shit if needed, maybe that’s why Gabe is interested in me all of a sudden, not only do I look like Annie but now I act more like her. From the moment I met Gabe, I felt something for him. It was weird and took me by surprise. I had never felt that way about anyone and it just had to be the one guy I couldn’t have. Annie thought he was hot but that was all there was to it for her, she wasn’t interested in him
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