Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six

Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six by Gerry Bartlett

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Authors: Gerry Bartlett
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space at a mall that had a multiscreen cinema and parked. Soon they were headed for the theater. I paid for my ticket and tried not to roll my eyes when I saw we were actually going to see the latest vampire flick. I wondered whose idea that had been.
    Josh bought popcorn and drinks. Penny forgot and sipped hers, coughing until Josh pounded her on the back. Too bad. She’d been pretty cool up to that point. After that she just pretended to drink, shaking her head when he offered her popcorn, though I saw her nose twitch and her eyes water. I could sympathize. It smelled delicious. I had to give her props for playing mortal like a pro as I trailed them into the theater, one of dozens of women and a few men. Josh was really taking one for the team with this show. Obviously it was a chick flick.
    I settled two rows behind them, ready to critique the vamp action on the screen and in front of me. No fangs on the vamps? Like I’d gnaw a vein open. But the fight scenes were great. Loved the werewolves. I was so engrossed, I almost missed Josh making a move on Penny. Hmm. His arm was around her and she leaned into him. Sweet.
    Then I got caught up in the movie again. A love story. I’m a sucker for romance. Especially since my own love life is a twisted tale of—Wait a minute, where had they gone? Penny and Josh had managed to slip out before the movie was over. And I wasn’t going to get to see which guy this girl picked? Damn it!
    I jumped up and stepped unapologetically on numerous feet to get out of there. I ran across the lobby to the parking lot and saw that Josh’s car was missing. How long had I been watching the screen and not my fledgling? I looked around and realized no one was nearby so I shifted into my bird form, flying up so I could look for that black SUV. Oh, great. There are only thousands of black SUVs in Austin. I tried to figure out the logical places Penny might go with Josh.
    His place? He’d said he had roommates. Definitely not my place, though I’d given her a key and the alarm code for the building. So her old place? Totally a possibility. I landed next to my car and quickly shifted back, then hit speed dial for Damian.
    “Hello, Gloriana, how goes the mentoring?”
    “Oh, fine, fine.” No way was I admitting failure to the head of the council. “You are paying me a stipend for this, aren’t you? This girl’s really racking up expenses. Synthetics, utilities, not to mention part of the rent. I was about to bring in another roommate when you dumped her on me. A paying roomie.” I heard Damian say something about submitting receipts. “Sure, whatever. You know, I was following her over to her old place to pick up the rest of her stuff and lost her in traffic. Could you give me that address?”
    “Certainly. And as to a stipend . . . Well, I suppose that could be arranged. Half your rent, anyway.” Damian rattled some papers. “Here’s her address.” He read it to me. “The council is impressed that you were willing to do this. But there are still concerns. There have been reports of more demons scented in the area. Do you know anything about that, Gloriana?”
    “Demons? You know how I hate those things. If I do run into them, I’ll tell them to fly straight back down to hell where they belong. You know that, don’t you, Damian?” I got into the car and started the engine, thinking about the address and trying to figure out where it was. I knew it was near the university, but that was a big area. Fortunately, Austin is laid out logically with numbered streets.
    “Yes, Gloriana. Just be careful. Your last run-in with a demon should have convinced you how serious a problem they can be. By the way, Florence and Richard should be back soon from their honeymoon.” Damian seemed inclined to chat and I didn’t have time.
    “I know. Can’t wait to hear all the details. Listen, got to go. Penny’s waiting. Talk to you later.” I hung up and headed out. If Penny hadn’t taken Josh back

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