Table of Contents
Part 1: Dreaming
of the Wolf
Part 2: Taken
by the Alpha
Part 3: Swimming
With the Alpha
Dreaming of the
Wolf
I had the dream
again last night. Well, the first part is more of a memory, really.
It's almost always like this…
I'm a wolf, running
under the full moon. I've split off from my pack to run joyfully
through the forest, feeling the dirt under my paws and the wind
rushing through my fur. But I'm not alone for long--I'm joined by
another wolf. A strange werewolf. We greet each other and take off
through the night.
Something in me
recognizes this stranger. His scent seems familiar to the human self
that is buried deep inside. The wolf shrugs it off. It's enough to
know that when morning comes this stranger will belong to me, and I
to him. He senses it too, I know. I want him so badly that I spend
half the night fantasizing about how he'll look in his human form,
but I force myself to wait.
Together, we howl at
the moon, brilliant in the clear skies of the Blue Ridge Mountains.
We play, wrestling each other in the dirt, mock fighting, trying to
figure out who is more dominant. He loses and I growl in triumph. We
hunt together, tracking a deer that soon falls beneath our claws and
bared fangs. I feel gloriously alive.
As night fades, I
feel safe enough with this new wolf to fall asleep beside him, my
nose buried in his fur. He is already asleep, seemingly content.
Then the dream
shifts. I am somewhere else, somewhere hazy. It doesn't seem to
matter.
What does matter to
me is the man on his knees before me. His dark hair hangs straight
past his shoulders, but I can't see his face. He holds my hips as my
cock disappears into his mouth. I lose myself in the wet heat that
surrounds me as he takes me in deeper and gives a low moan. I can't
stop myself. I hold his head close to me, my hands buried in his
hair, and take over. I fuck his mouth desperately, savagely, and he
groans as if he loves it.
It's over all too
soon. I come in his mouth, jerking, my balls so tight they almost
hurt and the release more like an explosion than an orgasm. I feel
him swallow greedily around me, taking everything I give him.
He looks up at me as
my cock slips from his mouth and I get the briefest impression of a
smile. But I still can't see his face. In my dream, though, I know
who this man is so it doesn't matter. It's only my real self that is
frustrated with the shadows that hide my lover from me.
And then I wake up.
I'm alone, and so hard I'm aching. I can practically feel his mouth
around me, but it's an illusion.
Just like our night
together was an illusion. You see, I went to sleep happy, curled up
next to the wolf I was convinced would accept me as a lover. And then
I woke up alone, naked in the forest, the taste of blood still in my
mouth from the deer we killed. The wolf--the man--who ran beside me
all night was gone. I tried to track him, but I lost him at a small
creek. I sat in the mud at the water's edge, thinking. Somehow I knew
even then that I wouldn't find any tracks on the other bank. The
stranger didn't just run away; he covered his tracks so I wouldn't be
able to find him. Covered his scent so all I could catch was a hint
of spice.
I remember wanting
to howl in despair as the early morning sun shone down upon me. Where
did the stranger go? Why did he leave?
***
It's been a year
since that night. At first, I was hopeful. Who the hell would just
leave like that, after feeling what I felt? After recognizing his
mate? But then I started to doubt myself. After a few months, I
started brooding and now--well, now I've almost given up. The rest of
the pack tried to cheer me up at first, but I think they've given up
now, too. Ah, well. Their concern is touching, but it doesn't really
help. Having my mate would, but oh well.
Since he's not
around, I just have to take things day by day. Someday, I tell
myself, I'll forget all about him.
I tell myself the
same thing today as I pull myself out of
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
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