Radiant

Radiant by James Alan Gardner

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Authors: James Alan Gardner
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body like a calm and calming mist.
    Or so it seemed... if I could trust this revelation. This sixth sense.
    My people have long believed there are six senses: the usual five recognized by Westerners, plus the Faculty of Mind. Whenever I had to explain this concept to non-Buddhists, I'd mumble about the Mind's "ability to extract meaning from raw perception." Putting things together. Making logical deductions. The Mind didn't gather input per se, but processed input from the other senses and was therefore part of the sensory system. Yes, it was a sixth sense... sort of.
    But suppose—at least for higher beings—the Mind really was a sense organ. Suppose it didn't just process input, but could somehow accumulate input on its own. Unmediated perception. Could that have been why the ancients classified Mind as a sixth sense? And we moderns had invented weak arguments to explain away the old beliefs rather than admitting our blindness.
    But now I could sense the world. I knew everything's place and its nature. I also knew how I'd acquired this new mode of perception.
    "Balrog," I said under my breath. "Please stop."
    The radarlike awareness vanished immediately... leaving me with nothing but dust, wind, and an emptiness where the comprehension had been. The emptiness wasn't painful—I didn't feel blind and bereft, as if some part of me had been gouged away. I felt no craving to have the uncanny perception back. I was just aware of the absence. Like when you cut your hair, and for a while you're cognizant of what's missing.
    "Is that how you do it?" I whispered to the Balrog. "Is that how you seduced Kaisho? How you think you'll seduce me? You share a bit of your awareness... and then, like a perfect gentleman, you stop when you're asked. But you make sure I know the offer is still open. A sixth sense that's mine anytime I want, and all I have to say is please. Like a kiss hovering a millimeter from my lips—I just have to lean in and take it. Is that how you'll make me let down my guard?"
    No answer. But I remembered the way my Mind's eye had perceived the Balrog's life force: calm, peaceful, wise... like a Buddha. Exactly like a Buddha. As if the Balrog had knowingly portrayed itself in the guise I'd find most trustworthy.
    Another aspect of the seduction. I was supposed to conceive of the Balrog not as a parasite, but as a saintly creature of pure enlightenment.
    "Suppose I were a Christian," I said to the Balrog. "When I looked at you, would I see Christ? If I were a Hindu, would I see Ganesha? Or Krishna? Or Kali? And when you showed me Festina and Tut, did I really sense their inner selves? Or were you just repeating what I already knew about them, so I'd believe your mystic sixth sense could reveal hidden truths? Was it all just a trick to tempt me into inviting you back? To get me interested in taking another look?"
    Still no answer. I didn't expect one.
    "Never again," I said. "Don't do that to me, ever. I don't believe what your sixth sense shows me, and I definitely don't need it. Just leave me alone."
    But I knew even then, I wouldn't hold out forever. Forever was too long not to give in eventually. To take just another tiny peek.
     
    The shuttle settled on the ziggurat's roof. When I lifted my head, Festina was already standing, dusting chintah off her uniform. She looked down at me. "So. Did you arrange for the shuttle?"
    "I said we might need immediate transport. I wanted to meet the shuttle at the nearest landing pad, but it's being flown by a diplomat who doesn't think other people's laws apply to him."
    "Oh," Festina said. "A dipshit. I know the type." She sighed. "Who is it? Anyone I should know?"
    I reported what I knew about Li and Ubatu. I couldn't recite their résumés, but I could sketch their personalities. (Inwardly, I wondered: what would their life forces look like?) After I'd finished, Festina asked for more details... and in the ensuing conversation, she invariably abbreviated "diplomats" to

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