Purple Golf Cart: The Misadventures of a Lesbian Grandma by Ronni Sanlo
Authors: Ronni Sanlo
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My panic was visible in the courtroom. My attorney was nearly crying.
“It’s the law. No kids. No joint custody.”
“Young lady,” the judge said again in an exasperated and still condescending tone. He looked like a missing-link mammal. “I’m sure you know the law regarding…” he looked disgusted in his Southern hesitation and then enunciated every syllable, “hom-a-sek-sha-al-a-teh.”
I looked at Jake, his head hanging low on his chest. His mother sat next to him, beaming, looking every bit as wicked as I knew her to be. I knew in an instant who was behind this.
This day was the nightmare of my life. For 20 years I hid my truth because I was afraid I would lose the people I love. And now—damn it!—I told the truth about myself and my deepest fears were validated. That day, that August 20, 1979, I lost custody of my children because I told the truth, because I’m a lesbian. I died a death that day, and unknowingly, I was also reborn.
Several months later I lost my job at Burdines Department Store because of my sexual orientation. Fuck the state of Florida and its hateful laws.
13. Out On My Own
__________________________________________________________________
1980
U.S. President : Jimmy Carter
Best film : Ordinary People; Raging Bull, The Elephant Man, Coal Miner’s Daughter
Best actors : Robert De Niro, Sissy Spacek
Best TV shows : Lou Dobbs Tonight; Bosom Buddies; Magnum P.I.
Best songs : Another One Bites the Dust, Upside Down, Lady, It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me, Woman in Love, Funkytown, The Rose, Ride Like the Wind, Lost in Love, Do That To Me One More Time
Civics : Iraqi war begins; U.S. Supreme Court upholds limits on aid for abortion
Popular Culture : John Lennon killed; Ted Turner launches CNN.
Deaths : Erich Fromm, Alfred Hitchcock, John Lennon, Jesse Owens, Jean Piaget, Jean-Paul Satre, Mae West
_________________________________________________________________
As I was learning to live on my own, I desperately needed information about what it meant to be a lesbian. While I was a lesbian in my head for 20 years, I had no idea how to court another woman or what to do when a woman was interested in me, and I sure didn’t know how to be sexual with a woman. I needed instructions. Patsy and her girlfriend Dawn gave me a book called The Joy of Lesbian Sex. They said I should call them if I had questions. I called constantly!
I started the dating process very slowly. Debbie, my first girlfriend, was an outdoorsy young woman and invited me to go boating with her. I wasn’t sure but I thought it might be an actual date, my first woman-date. It was. She brought sandwiches, sodas, and fishing gear. Her small motor boat was in tow behind her 1975 Ford pick-up. We put the boat into the water at Sanford Harbor and motored up the St. Johns River, stopping in the area of Blue Springs near Deland for a picnic. As Debbie handed a sandwich to me, she leaned over and kissed me. I held my breath, my eyes wide open. OOooooo….my first real-woman kiss! So gentle, so sweet, so soft. In the daylight of the warm Florida sun, she put her arm around my waist and kissed me again. My heart pounded. So this is what it was like! I liked it! It was everything I knew it would be. We kissed again. Nothing else, just sweet kisses. It was all I needed, and really, the thought of anything more scared me and my inexperienced self! Young Debbie was the perfect gentlewoman. We continued boating, marveling at the flora and fauna of the river, and at the beauty of the day.
I read The Joy of Lesbian Sex with amazement! We’re supposed to do THAT!??! How on earth...???? After about the 20th call to Patsy and Dawn, they suggested that I needed to meet with a pro. A pro what?
“You just need a good teacher, Ronni, and we know the best.” They set up a sex lesson for me with Eileen, a woman 25 years my senior but with the reputation of being THE best lover,
“It’s the law. No kids. No joint custody.”
“Young lady,” the judge said again in an exasperated and still condescending tone. He looked like a missing-link mammal. “I’m sure you know the law regarding…” he looked disgusted in his Southern hesitation and then enunciated every syllable, “hom-a-sek-sha-al-a-teh.”
I looked at Jake, his head hanging low on his chest. His mother sat next to him, beaming, looking every bit as wicked as I knew her to be. I knew in an instant who was behind this.
This day was the nightmare of my life. For 20 years I hid my truth because I was afraid I would lose the people I love. And now—damn it!—I told the truth about myself and my deepest fears were validated. That day, that August 20, 1979, I lost custody of my children because I told the truth, because I’m a lesbian. I died a death that day, and unknowingly, I was also reborn.
Several months later I lost my job at Burdines Department Store because of my sexual orientation. Fuck the state of Florida and its hateful laws.
13. Out On My Own
__________________________________________________________________
1980
U.S. President : Jimmy Carter
Best film : Ordinary People; Raging Bull, The Elephant Man, Coal Miner’s Daughter
Best actors : Robert De Niro, Sissy Spacek
Best TV shows : Lou Dobbs Tonight; Bosom Buddies; Magnum P.I.
Best songs : Another One Bites the Dust, Upside Down, Lady, It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me, Woman in Love, Funkytown, The Rose, Ride Like the Wind, Lost in Love, Do That To Me One More Time
Civics : Iraqi war begins; U.S. Supreme Court upholds limits on aid for abortion
Popular Culture : John Lennon killed; Ted Turner launches CNN.
Deaths : Erich Fromm, Alfred Hitchcock, John Lennon, Jesse Owens, Jean Piaget, Jean-Paul Satre, Mae West
_________________________________________________________________
As I was learning to live on my own, I desperately needed information about what it meant to be a lesbian. While I was a lesbian in my head for 20 years, I had no idea how to court another woman or what to do when a woman was interested in me, and I sure didn’t know how to be sexual with a woman. I needed instructions. Patsy and her girlfriend Dawn gave me a book called The Joy of Lesbian Sex. They said I should call them if I had questions. I called constantly!
I started the dating process very slowly. Debbie, my first girlfriend, was an outdoorsy young woman and invited me to go boating with her. I wasn’t sure but I thought it might be an actual date, my first woman-date. It was. She brought sandwiches, sodas, and fishing gear. Her small motor boat was in tow behind her 1975 Ford pick-up. We put the boat into the water at Sanford Harbor and motored up the St. Johns River, stopping in the area of Blue Springs near Deland for a picnic. As Debbie handed a sandwich to me, she leaned over and kissed me. I held my breath, my eyes wide open. OOooooo….my first real-woman kiss! So gentle, so sweet, so soft. In the daylight of the warm Florida sun, she put her arm around my waist and kissed me again. My heart pounded. So this is what it was like! I liked it! It was everything I knew it would be. We kissed again. Nothing else, just sweet kisses. It was all I needed, and really, the thought of anything more scared me and my inexperienced self! Young Debbie was the perfect gentlewoman. We continued boating, marveling at the flora and fauna of the river, and at the beauty of the day.
I read The Joy of Lesbian Sex with amazement! We’re supposed to do THAT!??! How on earth...???? After about the 20th call to Patsy and Dawn, they suggested that I needed to meet with a pro. A pro what?
“You just need a good teacher, Ronni, and we know the best.” They set up a sex lesson for me with Eileen, a woman 25 years my senior but with the reputation of being THE best lover,
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