Protected by a Mobster: A Russian Mafia Romance (Volsky Mafia Book 1) by Jacee Macguire
Authors: Jacee Macguire
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Chapter One – Liliya
“Murder is an inherently evil act, no matter what the circumstances, no matter how convincing the rationalizations.”
- Bentley Little, The Ignored
There’s something to be said about the men in my rather large family. They may seem normal to the untrained eye of an outsider, but they’re much more than they seem to be. Dressed in their expensive suits, they give the appearance of being wealthy businessmen… and they are.
But there’s a darker, more deadly, side to each and every one of them; the commanding tone of their voices and that cold harsh stare that stops you in your tracks, demanding that you take notice of them, even if you don’t want to. I should know that better than anyone. I know what they are capable of. I learned that truth the hard way.
For twenty-one years, I’ve lived under a rock, seeing only what I wanted to see. I saw so much, yet so little at the very same time. Sure, I’d heard the rumors and seen the headlines, but I never believed them for a second. One could say I chose to ignore the truth. Maybe that’s exactly what I did. Ignorance is said to be bliss, but in my world, ignorance can get you killed. That’s another fact I’ve learned recently, and it scares the living hell out of me.
Now that the rose-colored glasses have been removed, forever shattered by the truth of my life, I feel betrayed. For the first time, I see the big picture, the darkness and chaos that surrounds me like a cloud of smoke, fluttering and swirling in the air, strangling the image I once had of my family.
Everything in my life is shifting, and I’m powerless to stop it. My family is unlike any other. Lies, murder, and a host of other unsavory shit feed their enterprise. Power is what my father seeks.
Bloodshed is what his underlings covet.
Money is a happy by-product for the lot of them.
My gut twists at how my life has been spoiled by the dirty deeds of the men I have trusted and loved.
Blood money is what I see it as. Blood money is exactly what it is. There is no other way to describe it. I feel shame for living amongst it all, thriving from it. To say that my awakening to this world hasn’t changed me would be a lie. It has changed me, in both good and bad ways. I grasp the good, hoping and praying it will multiply and make me feel whole again, but it hasn’t. The bad ways have taken hold of me and that scares me. Am I to become just like them? The answer to that question is a resounding yes. The thought leaves a bitter, acidic taste in my mouth. It may be all about money and power to them, but to me it’s more than that.
The money that is so casually spent on trivial luxuries is made on the back of dirty deals and rivalries that go back decades. Trust is a rare commodity in this life, as is love. Marriages are a business deal meant to strengthen alliances and bring others crashing down into piles of ash that scatter to the winds.
And worst of all, emotions make you weak. They make you feel too much, leading with your heart instead of logical thought, leading you to make mistakes. Make too many mistakes, and there’s only one way left for things to end.
Death.
It always finds those who let themselves wander too far away from those they kneel before and swear allegiance to.
I’ve learned my lesson. I kneel to no one. I will never kneel.
Right now my emotions play over me like an orchestra with badly tuned instruments. The sounds of the lies and the betrayal, the deafening report of a gunshot, leave my muscles cringing, cutting me straight to the bone.
This life hardens you.
It’s hardening me.
All of the soft edges of my childhood that were smooth are now jagged and razor sharp. Revenge is what I seek more than anything else now. Forget love. Forget happiness. The blood of those who betrayed me is what I covet. I need it like I need air to breathe. My body is hollow and filled with a hurt that has grown more painful with each day that passes.
The
“Murder is an inherently evil act, no matter what the circumstances, no matter how convincing the rationalizations.”
- Bentley Little, The Ignored
There’s something to be said about the men in my rather large family. They may seem normal to the untrained eye of an outsider, but they’re much more than they seem to be. Dressed in their expensive suits, they give the appearance of being wealthy businessmen… and they are.
But there’s a darker, more deadly, side to each and every one of them; the commanding tone of their voices and that cold harsh stare that stops you in your tracks, demanding that you take notice of them, even if you don’t want to. I should know that better than anyone. I know what they are capable of. I learned that truth the hard way.
For twenty-one years, I’ve lived under a rock, seeing only what I wanted to see. I saw so much, yet so little at the very same time. Sure, I’d heard the rumors and seen the headlines, but I never believed them for a second. One could say I chose to ignore the truth. Maybe that’s exactly what I did. Ignorance is said to be bliss, but in my world, ignorance can get you killed. That’s another fact I’ve learned recently, and it scares the living hell out of me.
Now that the rose-colored glasses have been removed, forever shattered by the truth of my life, I feel betrayed. For the first time, I see the big picture, the darkness and chaos that surrounds me like a cloud of smoke, fluttering and swirling in the air, strangling the image I once had of my family.
Everything in my life is shifting, and I’m powerless to stop it. My family is unlike any other. Lies, murder, and a host of other unsavory shit feed their enterprise. Power is what my father seeks.
Bloodshed is what his underlings covet.
Money is a happy by-product for the lot of them.
My gut twists at how my life has been spoiled by the dirty deeds of the men I have trusted and loved.
Blood money is what I see it as. Blood money is exactly what it is. There is no other way to describe it. I feel shame for living amongst it all, thriving from it. To say that my awakening to this world hasn’t changed me would be a lie. It has changed me, in both good and bad ways. I grasp the good, hoping and praying it will multiply and make me feel whole again, but it hasn’t. The bad ways have taken hold of me and that scares me. Am I to become just like them? The answer to that question is a resounding yes. The thought leaves a bitter, acidic taste in my mouth. It may be all about money and power to them, but to me it’s more than that.
The money that is so casually spent on trivial luxuries is made on the back of dirty deals and rivalries that go back decades. Trust is a rare commodity in this life, as is love. Marriages are a business deal meant to strengthen alliances and bring others crashing down into piles of ash that scatter to the winds.
And worst of all, emotions make you weak. They make you feel too much, leading with your heart instead of logical thought, leading you to make mistakes. Make too many mistakes, and there’s only one way left for things to end.
Death.
It always finds those who let themselves wander too far away from those they kneel before and swear allegiance to.
I’ve learned my lesson. I kneel to no one. I will never kneel.
Right now my emotions play over me like an orchestra with badly tuned instruments. The sounds of the lies and the betrayal, the deafening report of a gunshot, leave my muscles cringing, cutting me straight to the bone.
This life hardens you.
It’s hardening me.
All of the soft edges of my childhood that were smooth are now jagged and razor sharp. Revenge is what I seek more than anything else now. Forget love. Forget happiness. The blood of those who betrayed me is what I covet. I need it like I need air to breathe. My body is hollow and filled with a hurt that has grown more painful with each day that passes.
The
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