hardship.”
“Ah, but it could turn out to be both. What if you looked but couldn’t resist the temptation to touch?”
He lowered his head slightly, his voice a low rumble. “I think you’re afraid that you might decide you didn’t want me to resist the temptation.”
Oh, she could very well decide that, and perhaps that was her fear, that loosening her buttons might be enough for him, but certainly not enough for her. If his stroking her arm, stroking her hand warmed her so much, what in the world would happen if he stroked more?
She needed to distract him, distract herself fromthis potentially dangerous direction. She swallowed hard, determined that their behavior to night would remain above reproach. “I wrote other letters.”
“Did you now?”
She heard amusement in his voice, as though he knew exactly why she’d turned the topic back to letters, that he was fully aware that he did tempt her in ways that he shouldn’t.
“Dear Tom. All the boys I meet are lord something or other. I don’t like them very much. Yours, Lauren.”
He chuckled low. “Glad you didn’t fancy any of the fellas you met over here.”
She thought about telling him about Kimburton, but what was the point? That aspect of her life was over.
“I think I wrote a couple of lengthy letters about my clothes,” she said instead, “especially after my first trip to Paris for a Worth gown. In Texas, I put on a dress in the morning and took it off before I went to bed at night. Here, I change my clothing three or four times a day, depending on the activity or where I’m going or who I’m going to visit. Sometimes I feel guilty for not being happy when I’ve been given so much, and there are others with nothing.”
“You’ve really been that unhappy over here?”
She slowly shook her head. “I can’t explain it, Tom. Everything I missed. The smells inside thegeneral store when we went into town on Saturday. The open friendliness of people, everyone greeting you regardless of who you were or who your parents might be. As long as I sirred or ma’amed my elders, I didn’t get into trouble for addressing someone inappropriately.” She peered over at him. “Here, they have rules for who can sit beside whom during dinner. Introductions are so formal. Even when you run into someone you know, you have to adhere to the proper way of greeting him…or her. It’s tedious.”
“So tell me, darlin’, how are you getting back to Texas?”
“On a ship.”
He laughed, a full-throated sound. “You know I figured that much out on my own. But passage on a ship costs money. Is Ravenleigh paying for it?”
“I wouldn’t presume to ask. He’s been a wonderful father, and I don’t wish to place him in an awkward position. Mother desperately wants me to remain here. She thinks life is too hard in Texas, that I’ve forgotten what it’s really like.”
“It is hard, Lauren.”
“It’s a different kind of hardship here, Tom, but it’s still hard. Don’t think it isn’t.”
“I wouldn’t do that. But you still haven’t answered my question. How are you paying for passage?”
“It’s terribly scandalous, and you have to promise not to tell anyone.”
“Who would I tell?”
“I’ve taken a position at a shop.”
“A shop? What kind of things does it sell to be scandalous?”
“The scandal has nothing to do with the shop itself, but what my working there represents. My stepfather is a peer. For it to be known that I’m working would cause him embarrassment. I went to great pains to locate a shop in an area of London that isn’t likely to be visited by anyone of importance.”
“Ravenleigh seemed surprised that you were planning to return to Texas.”
“I’d told him and Mother that I was spending my days doing charity work.”
“You lied?”
“I didn’t see that I had a choice if I wanted to accomplish my goal of returning to Fortune. Why even to night Mother ordered me to resign my post.”
“Will
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