“The Lord God Jehovah created Hell as He did everything else.”
“Oh?” said Vanni Fucci. “Where does it say so in that grab-bag of tribal stories and jingoist posturings you call a Bible?”
Brother Freddy thought that it was quite possible that he was going to have a heart attack right there on the Brother Freddy’s Hallelujah Breakfast Club hour going live into three million three hundred thousand American homes. But even while his heart fibrillated and his red face grew redder, his mind raced to come up with the appropriate Scriptural verse.
“Let me tell you about an experiment performed in 1982,” said Vanni Fucci, “at the University of Paris-South. A group of quantum physicists headed by Alain Aspect tested the behavior of two photons flying in opposite directions from a light source. The test confirmed an underlying theory of quantum mechanics—namely, that a measurement made on one photon has an instantaneous effect on the nature of another photon.
Photons,
gentlemen, traveling at the speed of
light.
Obviously no information could be transmitted faster than the speed of light itself, but the
act
of defining the nature of one photon
instantaneously
changed the nature of the other photon. The conclusion drawn from this is obvious, is it not?”
“Ah?” said Brother Freddy.
“Ah?” said the five guests on the divan.
“Precisely,” said Vanni Fucci. “It confirms in the physical world what we in Hell have known for some time.
Reality
is shaped by the first great mind which focuses on measuring it. New concepts create new laws and the universe abides. Newton
created
universal gravity andthe cosmos rearranged itself accordingly. Einstein defined space/time and the universe retrofitted itself to agree. And Dante Alighieri—that neurotic little whimshit—created the first comprehensive map of hell and Hell came into existence to appease the public perception.”
“That’s ridiculous,” managed Brother Freddy, forgetting the cameras, forgetting the audience, forgetting everything but the monstrous illogic—not to mention blasphemy—of what this crazy Italian had just said. “If that was … true,” cried Brother Freddy, “then the world … things … everything would be changing all the time.”
“Precisely,” smiled Vanni Fucci. His teeth looked small and white and very sharp.
“Then … well … Hell wouldn’t be the same either,” said Brother Freddy. “Dante wrote a long time ago. Three or four hundred years, at least …”
“He died in 1321,” said Vanni Fucci.
“Yeah … well … so …” concluded Brother Freddy.
Vanni Fucci shook his head. “You understand nothing. When an idea is strong enough, large enough,
comprehensive
enough to redefine the universe, it has tremendous staying power. It lasts until an equally powerful paradigm is formulated … and accepted by the popular imagination … to replace it. For instance, your Old Testament God lasted thousands of years before it … He … was actively redefined by a much more civilized if somewhat schizophrenic New Testament deity. Even the newer and weaker version has lasted fifteen hundred years or so before being on the verge of being sneezed out of existence by the allergy of modern science.”
Brother Freddy was certain he was going to have a stroke.
“But who has bothered to redefine Hell?” Vanni Fucci asked rhetorically. “The Germans came close in this century, but their visionaries were snuffed out before the new concept could take root in the mass mind. So we remain. Hell persists. Our eternal torments drag on with no more reason for existence than could be offered for your little toe or vermiform appendix.”
Brother Freddy realized that he might be dealing with a demon here. After almost forty years of preaching aboutdemons, teaching about demons, finding the spiritual footprints of demons in everything from rock music to FCC legislation, warning against demons being in
“Oh?” said Vanni Fucci. “Where does it say so in that grab-bag of tribal stories and jingoist posturings you call a Bible?”
Brother Freddy thought that it was quite possible that he was going to have a heart attack right there on the Brother Freddy’s Hallelujah Breakfast Club hour going live into three million three hundred thousand American homes. But even while his heart fibrillated and his red face grew redder, his mind raced to come up with the appropriate Scriptural verse.
“Let me tell you about an experiment performed in 1982,” said Vanni Fucci, “at the University of Paris-South. A group of quantum physicists headed by Alain Aspect tested the behavior of two photons flying in opposite directions from a light source. The test confirmed an underlying theory of quantum mechanics—namely, that a measurement made on one photon has an instantaneous effect on the nature of another photon.
Photons,
gentlemen, traveling at the speed of
light.
Obviously no information could be transmitted faster than the speed of light itself, but the
act
of defining the nature of one photon
instantaneously
changed the nature of the other photon. The conclusion drawn from this is obvious, is it not?”
“Ah?” said Brother Freddy.
“Ah?” said the five guests on the divan.
“Precisely,” said Vanni Fucci. “It confirms in the physical world what we in Hell have known for some time.
Reality
is shaped by the first great mind which focuses on measuring it. New concepts create new laws and the universe abides. Newton
created
universal gravity andthe cosmos rearranged itself accordingly. Einstein defined space/time and the universe retrofitted itself to agree. And Dante Alighieri—that neurotic little whimshit—created the first comprehensive map of hell and Hell came into existence to appease the public perception.”
“That’s ridiculous,” managed Brother Freddy, forgetting the cameras, forgetting the audience, forgetting everything but the monstrous illogic—not to mention blasphemy—of what this crazy Italian had just said. “If that was … true,” cried Brother Freddy, “then the world … things … everything would be changing all the time.”
“Precisely,” smiled Vanni Fucci. His teeth looked small and white and very sharp.
“Then … well … Hell wouldn’t be the same either,” said Brother Freddy. “Dante wrote a long time ago. Three or four hundred years, at least …”
“He died in 1321,” said Vanni Fucci.
“Yeah … well … so …” concluded Brother Freddy.
Vanni Fucci shook his head. “You understand nothing. When an idea is strong enough, large enough,
comprehensive
enough to redefine the universe, it has tremendous staying power. It lasts until an equally powerful paradigm is formulated … and accepted by the popular imagination … to replace it. For instance, your Old Testament God lasted thousands of years before it … He … was actively redefined by a much more civilized if somewhat schizophrenic New Testament deity. Even the newer and weaker version has lasted fifteen hundred years or so before being on the verge of being sneezed out of existence by the allergy of modern science.”
Brother Freddy was certain he was going to have a stroke.
“But who has bothered to redefine Hell?” Vanni Fucci asked rhetorically. “The Germans came close in this century, but their visionaries were snuffed out before the new concept could take root in the mass mind. So we remain. Hell persists. Our eternal torments drag on with no more reason for existence than could be offered for your little toe or vermiform appendix.”
Brother Freddy realized that he might be dealing with a demon here. After almost forty years of preaching aboutdemons, teaching about demons, finding the spiritual footprints of demons in everything from rock music to FCC legislation, warning against demons being in
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