tryouts when Kellan turned to me again. I was sure he was going to ask me about Harry’s comment so I stood up and stretched.
“Can I have a go on the bike, Kellan?” I could tell from the expression on his face that it was not a great idea so I quickly added, “Just around the lake. I’ll be careful.”
He looked at me thoughtfully, “I guess it would be ok. It’s clear and the grass will slow you down. I’m sitting on the back though, just in case.”
I put my helmet on and got on the bike and asked, “Remind me how it all works.”
He laughed, “Remind you? You’ve never done this before! Don’t even pretend that Harry let you ride. He wouldn’t and he’ll kill me if he knew I did.”
I rolled my eyes at him and stretched my feet out to reach the pedals – they barely reached. Kellan put his feet on the pedals from behind me. He showed me how to turn the ignition on and how to accelerate and stop.
“Are you ready to take over? Don’t worry, I have your back,” he laughed and handed me the key.
I brought the engine to life gently, testing out the controls; they felt sensitive to my touch. I indicated that I was ready by trying to release the brake, failing miserable. So, Kellan reached forward releasing the break and pushed the bike to get it moving. I slowly accelerated and Kellan pulled his feet off the ground slowly and the bike lurched forward. It felt heavy and powerful. I wasn’t sure I could keep us both balanced. Kellan could feel my hesitation. He put his feet on the pedals beside mine and is hands on top of mine and maneuvered the bike into action, and we moved forward gingerly.
We started by riding around in circles. Then we drove along the lake. Kellan tried to let go a few times, but I had a hard time balancing so he kept us steady. We kept riding along the lake, the moonlight guiding us until we were back in the same spot that we had started from. We stopped, and I leaned back into Kellan and relaxed, content that we were still in one piece. I could feel his breath against my neck, warm and intoxicating. I wanted to turn around and kiss him but hesitated. I would probably freak him out. After all, he thought of me as a sister? His touch was irresistible. I turned around so I was facing him and studied him intently. I couldn’t read him at all.
He was gazing directly at me and asked or rather commented, “Arizona, something’s changed. I can’t tell what though. Did something happen? What was Harry taking about?”
I closed my eyes and moved closer to him until I felt my lips brush against his. I stopped wondering if I was taking things too far too fast. His lips brushed lightly against mine and I trembled. He hesitated and I could feel him moving away. Then I felt his hands cup my face and I opened my eyes. He gazed into my eyes and moved toward me. He found my lips and kissed me gently.
Neither of us said anything as we put our helmets back on and switched positions for the long drive home. I clung on tightly as Kellan deftly maneuvered the bike through the trees on to the highway. So many thoughts were going through my mind; I thought I was going to explode. This had been quite an evening. I wondered what Kellan was thinking about. Was he as confused about what occurred this evening as I was?
I wondered about our brief, but for me, significant kiss. Had I been too forward? He had kissed me back, so it couldn’t have been totally repugnant to him. I wondered if it had been our first time. It certainly felt like it. I think I would have remembered kissing him. It had been the single most amazing moment in my life. I was not particularly confused about the kiss itself. It had felt right, like it was meant to be.
I was more mystified by the “October shivers.” I wondered what that was all about? Was it a common occurrence? Did it only occur during October? What caused it? I had really enjoyed watching the meteor shower and hoped we could come back for the other ones I
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
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