straight to the point. ‘Why did you do nursing, then? If you don’t want to see people at their most raw, if you don’t want to
loan yourself,
as you call it, why would you do this job?’ Emily didn’t answer and he looked at her tense lips and knew he was on the right track. ‘Or did you always want to be a theatre nurse? Did Emily scrub in for her dolls?’ Still she didn’t answer. ‘I mean, it’s a pretty specific goal.’
‘I always wanted to be a nurse,’ Emily said.
‘Then surely—’
‘I didn’t want to let my parents mess another part of me up,’ Emily almost shouted. And she never shouted, she never rowed, yet Hugh seemed to take her to the edge in all areas. ‘Hugh, I know myself. I know what I want and what I don’t. Don’t try and change me.’
‘I’m not trying to change you, Emily—I’m trying to understand you.’
‘You don’t have to understand me.’ She didn’t want him close enough to understand her and so she asked her question again. ‘What time are you heading off?’
‘You...you want me gone, don’t you?’
‘You were supposed to be here for a few hours and it’s been two nights.’
Hugh was very unused to being dismissed and given what had taken place that morning he hadn’t expected to be so quickly shown the door.
‘What about this morning?’ Hugh said.
‘What about it?’ Emily frowned. ‘It doesn’t change anything.’
‘It did for me.’ Hugh just looked at the stranger who stood in Emily’s shoes, a complete different person from the one who had woken up in his arms. ‘Do you know why I didn’t try anything last night?’ Hugh said, and when Emily didn’t answer, he did. ‘Because I didn’t want you regretting it in the morning.’
‘I don’t regret it,’ Emily said, ‘but neither do I want to repeat it. We had sex, Hugh. As you said, being your fake girlfriend comes with the occasional perk.’
‘Why does it have to be fake?’
Emily couldn’t actually tell him that without breaking down so she gave a brief shrug, and it incensed him enough not to even attempt to argue.
Instead, he gathered his things.
‘I’ll let you get on with your holiday, then.’
The peace she craved had finally been delivered yet it wasn’t so pleasant any more.
She wanted to text him, to ask him to turn the car around and come back. To continue where they’d left off earlier that morning. And then what? A few weeks or months as partners?
The best few weeks and months of her adult life, no doubt.
But then what?
She didn’t want to have to get over him. She didn’t want to pay the price of love—the potential for pain.
She wasn’t scared of the sparks that she and Hugh ignited. She was more scared of the wildfire it would create and the charred remains when it inevitably burnt out.
He had been spot on about her career, though.
Moneywise it would be foolish at best to hand in her notice without securing another job first and he had been right about working for an agency.
A few phone calls to various agencies told Emily that she couldn’t be guaranteed full-time work in Theatre but there was a big demand for ICU nurses and, with her skills, she could also work in Emergency.
Hugh was right, she didn’t want to move out of her comfort zone.
* * *
She really didn’t have a choice and so just over a week later Emily found herself working in Emergency.
‘You’ll soon get used to it,’ Lydia, the charge nurse, said as she showed her around.
Emily didn’t want to get used to it. She remembered A nd E well from her training and even though it was a different hospital the pace of it hadn’t changed.
And the staff still gossiped like crazy.
‘So, how long have you been seeing Hugh?’ Gerry, one of the head nurses asked, as Emily wrote Gina’s name on the board.
‘A couple of months on and off,’ Emily said, and could feel the smirks behind her because they’d all heard the rumour that he’d got off with Gina.
Oh, they were like
loan yourself,
as you call it, why would you do this job?’ Emily didn’t answer and he looked at her tense lips and knew he was on the right track. ‘Or did you always want to be a theatre nurse? Did Emily scrub in for her dolls?’ Still she didn’t answer. ‘I mean, it’s a pretty specific goal.’
‘I always wanted to be a nurse,’ Emily said.
‘Then surely—’
‘I didn’t want to let my parents mess another part of me up,’ Emily almost shouted. And she never shouted, she never rowed, yet Hugh seemed to take her to the edge in all areas. ‘Hugh, I know myself. I know what I want and what I don’t. Don’t try and change me.’
‘I’m not trying to change you, Emily—I’m trying to understand you.’
‘You don’t have to understand me.’ She didn’t want him close enough to understand her and so she asked her question again. ‘What time are you heading off?’
‘You...you want me gone, don’t you?’
‘You were supposed to be here for a few hours and it’s been two nights.’
Hugh was very unused to being dismissed and given what had taken place that morning he hadn’t expected to be so quickly shown the door.
‘What about this morning?’ Hugh said.
‘What about it?’ Emily frowned. ‘It doesn’t change anything.’
‘It did for me.’ Hugh just looked at the stranger who stood in Emily’s shoes, a complete different person from the one who had woken up in his arms. ‘Do you know why I didn’t try anything last night?’ Hugh said, and when Emily didn’t answer, he did. ‘Because I didn’t want you regretting it in the morning.’
‘I don’t regret it,’ Emily said, ‘but neither do I want to repeat it. We had sex, Hugh. As you said, being your fake girlfriend comes with the occasional perk.’
‘Why does it have to be fake?’
Emily couldn’t actually tell him that without breaking down so she gave a brief shrug, and it incensed him enough not to even attempt to argue.
Instead, he gathered his things.
‘I’ll let you get on with your holiday, then.’
The peace she craved had finally been delivered yet it wasn’t so pleasant any more.
She wanted to text him, to ask him to turn the car around and come back. To continue where they’d left off earlier that morning. And then what? A few weeks or months as partners?
The best few weeks and months of her adult life, no doubt.
But then what?
She didn’t want to have to get over him. She didn’t want to pay the price of love—the potential for pain.
She wasn’t scared of the sparks that she and Hugh ignited. She was more scared of the wildfire it would create and the charred remains when it inevitably burnt out.
He had been spot on about her career, though.
Moneywise it would be foolish at best to hand in her notice without securing another job first and he had been right about working for an agency.
A few phone calls to various agencies told Emily that she couldn’t be guaranteed full-time work in Theatre but there was a big demand for ICU nurses and, with her skills, she could also work in Emergency.
Hugh was right, she didn’t want to move out of her comfort zone.
* * *
She really didn’t have a choice and so just over a week later Emily found herself working in Emergency.
‘You’ll soon get used to it,’ Lydia, the charge nurse, said as she showed her around.
Emily didn’t want to get used to it. She remembered A nd E well from her training and even though it was a different hospital the pace of it hadn’t changed.
And the staff still gossiped like crazy.
‘So, how long have you been seeing Hugh?’ Gerry, one of the head nurses asked, as Emily wrote Gina’s name on the board.
‘A couple of months on and off,’ Emily said, and could feel the smirks behind her because they’d all heard the rumour that he’d got off with Gina.
Oh, they were like
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