tears.
“No, baby, not at all. In fact, you are too right,” Erik sighed, placing his cup on the table. He turned to look at her. “I should not have done that. I am so, so sorry.”
“I’m confused. Done what?”
“Kissed you like that. It is too soon and… Oh, hell.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I am drawn to you like a moth to the fire, Camille. I want you. All of you. But I also know that you need to find yourself first.”
“You want me?”
“Don’t look so surprised. Yes. Every day that we spent together, before we came here, I found myself growing excited to bring on the next day just so I could be with you. I have never had that desire before and it confounded me. You have done something to me that I can’t explain. I want your heart, body, and soul. I want to own you, possess you, be everything that you have ever wanted. And I am so afraid that… That I will fall short of your expectations.”
Camille’s mouth hung open as she listened to his confession, stunned to learn that, in many ways, he was as insecure as she was! He suddenly became very human to her and she felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest.
“I really want to try this age-play thing with you. You are right,” Camille whispered. “I realized today how much of life I have missed out on because my little girl was forced to grow up too quickly and what little was there, was not wanted. Will you help me? And her? Please? Can you maybe teach me how to have fun and not worry so much about what people think? Like you?”
“You want to be like me? But you hear…”
“I know the tabloids exaggerate and manipulate everything they can. You have pursued your dreams. You don’t put up with any guff from the directors or other actors. You are strong and confident, and yet you still know how to enjoy the things that life gives you. I want to be more like you are. I am so tired of being the perfectly behaved Camille LeCroix who, except in her role as Pippi, never smiles.”
“I am not that happy, honey. I…”
“Okay, you need to learn how to laugh more and goof around, but maybe this… this thing we are doing can help both of us. Please, Erik. Teach me. I saw you play last night. When you caught me cheating, you almost let go of your need to be stoic. I really liked that side of you. It made me laugh and I want to see more.”
“I don’t know what to say. I mean, I am both surprised and thrilled that you can see who I am past the image of the media. As for the playful side, I give you the credit; you bring it out in me. I have been engaged in this lifestyle for a long time and I have never been more relaxed and free with a little as I am with you,” he admitted quietly.
“I also need to know what having a real friend feels like. I have never had one. My life was filled with acquaintances—tons of people who I never knew intimately or learned to care about. For the last eleven years, I hid in my dressing room between scenes to avoid being ridiculed by my costars. When I got home, I holed myself up in my bedroom to escape my mother. I am so tired of hiding.”
“Believe it or not, I am a loner as well. I never had the time, or desire, to make friends. Mainly because of my trust issues. I was the opposite of you. It took me a long time to accept that late-night parties and greedy women did not satisfy my need for intimacy. So you see, I do understand. More than you realize,” Erik responded contemplatively. “I guess we have both chosen to live a very lonely existence, huh, kiddo? You… Even in this role… Satisfy my need for intimacy.”
“Then can we work on helping each other? I know that I need this, Erik. I did not realize how much until I woke up this morning and felt so alive. Will you teach me? I want to explore the very depths of this character inside of me and I can’t do it alone.”
“Of course I will, baby girl. Anything that you need, I am here for you.”
“Good. And that need goes both
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