It was my fault he’d gotten injured. And he didn’t need me.
Not really.
I remembered the drawer full of condoms upstairs. He’d gotten rid of them when I went on the pill. But he could get more.
He’d be out there man whoring it up in no time.
I shook my head, telling myself not to think about that. It was the past. James was the past. I had to forget him.
I had to cut him out of my heart.
I poured extra food into three bowls. There. That should last Honeysuckle at least a week.
I hated to leave her, but where I was going, nobody was safe.
I wouldn’t give anyone a chance to hurt her ever again. I knew in my heart, that James would look after her. Even if he didn’t love me, he had a good heart.
He’d make sure she was safe.
I slung the bag over my shoulder and walked out. I locked the door and slipped the key under the doormat. Then I turned back, taking one last look.
I’d been happy here.
But I’d been living a dream.
Now it was time to wake up.
Slowly, I walked through town towards the bus station. My mind started to work through the practicalities of what I was doing. I could maybe get my professors to give me extensions. Come back next year. Once he was gone.
Who was I kidding? Once I got on that bus it was over. I was never coming back again.
I was toast. I would turn into my mother after all. Or worse.
I stopped walking, staring into space.
I could stay and fight for him. I could prove his coach wrong. But that wouldn’t last anyway. Not once he was rich and famous. If he ever got there. There was a good chance that if I stayed, it wouldn’t work out for either of us. Or I could leave and make it easier for everyone.
Rip it off like a bandaid.
Let it bleed.
There was one thing for sure. I couldn’t stay in his place anymore. Coach Adams had made it abundantly clear that his housing was in jeopardy if I stayed. That the team could make things harder for him.
And impossible for me.
He’d told me that one more punch would have ended Jame’s career. Permanently.
And with a low rent skank like me around, he was ‘sure to be getting into a lot of fights.’
I choked back a sob. I knew that’s what I looked like to him. I wasn’t special like Fitz. I wasn’t as talented. Lots of people could paint or draw. Not that many could play ball like he could.
Maybe it would all work out. Maybe I would find a job back home that paid enough for school. I could go local. Pay my way. Earn a degree after all. It could happen. It would take longer, sure. But it could be done.
I stepped up to the counter at the bus station.
My heart felt like it was being torn in two. I wanted to do nothing more than run to James, beg him to forgive me. To take me home and hold me all night. But I knew I couldn’t. Not now. Not after everything that had happened.
No matter what though, I’d never forget him.
Maybe we could meet again in another life.
It just wasn’t going to be this one.
Chapter Eighteen
James
I tapped my toes, finally standing on my own feet after three days in the hospital. A car was waiting for me to take me home. I’d only have long enough to pack and leave again.
I had shit to do. A meeting in Miami. But that was secondary to my primary goal: to find out where the hell my girlfriend was at.
Had she left me after all? That’s what Coach had said. The nurses too. They said she was gone. That’s all. No word. Even my texts were going unopened. Unread.
I shook my head. There was no way she’d just leave like that. She loved me.
She’d told me so.
I cursed. I needed to track her down but I had promised coach I would take this meeting. I climbed into the car, my brain trying to play catch up now that I was off my pain meds.
I stared blindly out the window. If It took the spot with Miami that meant not graduating. Or graduating on delay, with special tutors making sure I passed the last few classes remotely.
It could work. But not without her.
I raced into my townhouse,
Not really.
I remembered the drawer full of condoms upstairs. He’d gotten rid of them when I went on the pill. But he could get more.
He’d be out there man whoring it up in no time.
I shook my head, telling myself not to think about that. It was the past. James was the past. I had to forget him.
I had to cut him out of my heart.
I poured extra food into three bowls. There. That should last Honeysuckle at least a week.
I hated to leave her, but where I was going, nobody was safe.
I wouldn’t give anyone a chance to hurt her ever again. I knew in my heart, that James would look after her. Even if he didn’t love me, he had a good heart.
He’d make sure she was safe.
I slung the bag over my shoulder and walked out. I locked the door and slipped the key under the doormat. Then I turned back, taking one last look.
I’d been happy here.
But I’d been living a dream.
Now it was time to wake up.
Slowly, I walked through town towards the bus station. My mind started to work through the practicalities of what I was doing. I could maybe get my professors to give me extensions. Come back next year. Once he was gone.
Who was I kidding? Once I got on that bus it was over. I was never coming back again.
I was toast. I would turn into my mother after all. Or worse.
I stopped walking, staring into space.
I could stay and fight for him. I could prove his coach wrong. But that wouldn’t last anyway. Not once he was rich and famous. If he ever got there. There was a good chance that if I stayed, it wouldn’t work out for either of us. Or I could leave and make it easier for everyone.
Rip it off like a bandaid.
Let it bleed.
There was one thing for sure. I couldn’t stay in his place anymore. Coach Adams had made it abundantly clear that his housing was in jeopardy if I stayed. That the team could make things harder for him.
And impossible for me.
He’d told me that one more punch would have ended Jame’s career. Permanently.
And with a low rent skank like me around, he was ‘sure to be getting into a lot of fights.’
I choked back a sob. I knew that’s what I looked like to him. I wasn’t special like Fitz. I wasn’t as talented. Lots of people could paint or draw. Not that many could play ball like he could.
Maybe it would all work out. Maybe I would find a job back home that paid enough for school. I could go local. Pay my way. Earn a degree after all. It could happen. It would take longer, sure. But it could be done.
I stepped up to the counter at the bus station.
My heart felt like it was being torn in two. I wanted to do nothing more than run to James, beg him to forgive me. To take me home and hold me all night. But I knew I couldn’t. Not now. Not after everything that had happened.
No matter what though, I’d never forget him.
Maybe we could meet again in another life.
It just wasn’t going to be this one.
Chapter Eighteen
James
I tapped my toes, finally standing on my own feet after three days in the hospital. A car was waiting for me to take me home. I’d only have long enough to pack and leave again.
I had shit to do. A meeting in Miami. But that was secondary to my primary goal: to find out where the hell my girlfriend was at.
Had she left me after all? That’s what Coach had said. The nurses too. They said she was gone. That’s all. No word. Even my texts were going unopened. Unread.
I shook my head. There was no way she’d just leave like that. She loved me.
She’d told me so.
I cursed. I needed to track her down but I had promised coach I would take this meeting. I climbed into the car, my brain trying to play catch up now that I was off my pain meds.
I stared blindly out the window. If It took the spot with Miami that meant not graduating. Or graduating on delay, with special tutors making sure I passed the last few classes remotely.
It could work. But not without her.
I raced into my townhouse,
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