never to tell him you said that.’
‘Thanks, though I doubt you’ll get the chance.’
There it was again, the hint of wry sadness beneath the cheerful mask. But it was gone in a moment. Something across the room had attracted his attention.
‘Lee’s here,’ he said. ‘In the doorway, watching us. But don’t look round.’
‘I wasn’t going to. I don’t want him to think I’m yearning after him. I must talk to him once, tell him he’s got nothing to worry about—’ She gave an ironical smile which made Travis put his hand over hers. ‘When I’ve done that we’ll draw a line under it and go our different ways, with no looking back.’
‘Isn’t there always some looking back?’ he asked gently.
‘A little, but we don’t have to be sentimental. What’s done is done.’
‘That’s very good. I just hope you can go on feeling like that. Yearning and regret for what can’t be changed can waste your life. Now, I have to go; they’re beckoning me.’
Left alone, she brooded. Travis’s remarks about the wisdom of not indulging in regrets made her remember his absence the night before. Was he already looking ahead to the day when she would be surplus to his requirements? She guessed he wouldn’t cruelly dump her. He would hand her gently into the arms of another suitor, thus preserving her feelings and her dignity.
She supposed she ought to be grateful to him. She couldn’t imagine why she wasn’t.
‘Can I sit down?’
Looking up, she saw Lee, smiling at her in a way that had once made her heart turn over.
‘Sure,’ she said.
‘I’ve been waiting for the chance, but I didn’t want to disturb you when you were with the great man.’
‘I tried to call you this morning but your phone was switched off.’
‘Yes, it still isn’t working properly,’ he said with an uneasy laugh.
Suddenly she pitied him. Maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault that he was a coward. Not every man could be brave and generous like Travis.
‘Stop worrying,’ she said. ‘It was a false alarm.’
‘You mean you’re not—?’
‘No, I’m not. It’s over. Finito. Kaput. Nothing for you to worry about.’
He beamed. ‘Oh, wow! That’s wonderful. Then everything’s all right.’
‘I suppose if you look at it one way, yes.’ It annoyed her that it didn’t seem to cross his mind that she might be disappointed. She wondered if anyone else’s feelings had ever crossed his mind in his entire life.
‘You’re quite sure, aren’t you?’ he asked anxiously. ‘There’s no chance of a mistake?’
‘No chance at all. Stop worrying.’
His whole being was brilliant with joy. ‘This is so wonderful.’ He leaned forward, seized her face between his hands and planted a smacking kiss on her mouth. ‘Bless you for being a great girl!’
He danced away. Charlene stared after him, confused. Where was the devastation she should be feeling? Where was the disappointed love?
Love! said a scathing voice in her mind. Is that what you called it? More fool you!
She’d longed to believe it was love, especially when she’d thought she was to have his child. But the bleak emptiness showed her a cruel truth. Her ‘love’ had been as much an illusion as his; a fantasy created by a lonely girl who yearned for a feeling of belonging.
There was even an incredible sense of relief that nothing now tied her to this irresponsible boy. She was free. Alone, but free.
‘Charlene, for pity’s sake, what’s the matter?’
Travis suddenly appeared in the seat beside her, seizing her, anxiously searching her face.
‘You look so strange,’ he said frantically. ‘I came back for a moment, and when I saw him kiss you I thought…I don’t know what I thought. But please, tell me you’re all right.’
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she said lightly. ‘He kissed me from relief, that’s all. He’s got what he wanted.’
‘What about what you want? Did he ever think of that?’ he demanded, unconsciously echoing her
‘Thanks, though I doubt you’ll get the chance.’
There it was again, the hint of wry sadness beneath the cheerful mask. But it was gone in a moment. Something across the room had attracted his attention.
‘Lee’s here,’ he said. ‘In the doorway, watching us. But don’t look round.’
‘I wasn’t going to. I don’t want him to think I’m yearning after him. I must talk to him once, tell him he’s got nothing to worry about—’ She gave an ironical smile which made Travis put his hand over hers. ‘When I’ve done that we’ll draw a line under it and go our different ways, with no looking back.’
‘Isn’t there always some looking back?’ he asked gently.
‘A little, but we don’t have to be sentimental. What’s done is done.’
‘That’s very good. I just hope you can go on feeling like that. Yearning and regret for what can’t be changed can waste your life. Now, I have to go; they’re beckoning me.’
Left alone, she brooded. Travis’s remarks about the wisdom of not indulging in regrets made her remember his absence the night before. Was he already looking ahead to the day when she would be surplus to his requirements? She guessed he wouldn’t cruelly dump her. He would hand her gently into the arms of another suitor, thus preserving her feelings and her dignity.
She supposed she ought to be grateful to him. She couldn’t imagine why she wasn’t.
‘Can I sit down?’
Looking up, she saw Lee, smiling at her in a way that had once made her heart turn over.
‘Sure,’ she said.
‘I’ve been waiting for the chance, but I didn’t want to disturb you when you were with the great man.’
‘I tried to call you this morning but your phone was switched off.’
‘Yes, it still isn’t working properly,’ he said with an uneasy laugh.
Suddenly she pitied him. Maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault that he was a coward. Not every man could be brave and generous like Travis.
‘Stop worrying,’ she said. ‘It was a false alarm.’
‘You mean you’re not—?’
‘No, I’m not. It’s over. Finito. Kaput. Nothing for you to worry about.’
He beamed. ‘Oh, wow! That’s wonderful. Then everything’s all right.’
‘I suppose if you look at it one way, yes.’ It annoyed her that it didn’t seem to cross his mind that she might be disappointed. She wondered if anyone else’s feelings had ever crossed his mind in his entire life.
‘You’re quite sure, aren’t you?’ he asked anxiously. ‘There’s no chance of a mistake?’
‘No chance at all. Stop worrying.’
His whole being was brilliant with joy. ‘This is so wonderful.’ He leaned forward, seized her face between his hands and planted a smacking kiss on her mouth. ‘Bless you for being a great girl!’
He danced away. Charlene stared after him, confused. Where was the devastation she should be feeling? Where was the disappointed love?
Love! said a scathing voice in her mind. Is that what you called it? More fool you!
She’d longed to believe it was love, especially when she’d thought she was to have his child. But the bleak emptiness showed her a cruel truth. Her ‘love’ had been as much an illusion as his; a fantasy created by a lonely girl who yearned for a feeling of belonging.
There was even an incredible sense of relief that nothing now tied her to this irresponsible boy. She was free. Alone, but free.
‘Charlene, for pity’s sake, what’s the matter?’
Travis suddenly appeared in the seat beside her, seizing her, anxiously searching her face.
‘You look so strange,’ he said frantically. ‘I came back for a moment, and when I saw him kiss you I thought…I don’t know what I thought. But please, tell me you’re all right.’
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she said lightly. ‘He kissed me from relief, that’s all. He’s got what he wanted.’
‘What about what you want? Did he ever think of that?’ he demanded, unconsciously echoing her
Similar Books
