mindâlike Essence breaking our bond.
I spent days upset, pacing, and confusion had my mind warped. I didnât answer my phone. I didnât go to work. I didnât want to be bothered.
I walked slowly to the bathroom to run hot water for a shower. The doorbell rang. I walked down the hallway to see who was at the door. When I looked through the peephole, I couldnât believe she was standing there with sunglasses on. I whisked the door opened to face her.
âWhat the fuck do you want?â I roared.
âCan we talk for a minute?â Essence asked.
âWe have nothing to talk about. You slept with another man. That means you are free to do what you please. Leave me the fuck alone.â
âAt least let me tell you how it happened.â
âI donât care about how it happened.â
âPleaseâ¦â
I leaned against the side ofwall. âWhy arenât you with him?â
She removed her shades revealing her red puffy eyes. âI donât want to be with him. I never wanted to be with him. I made a mistake⦠Look, Rain, Iâm so sorry.â
I opened the door wider and let her in, though I shouldnât have. âIâm listening.â
She looked behind me as she could hear the water running from the bathroom. âAm I disturbing your shower?â she asked.
âIâm going to get in the shower as soon as you leave.â
ââ¦Let me take a shower with you.â
She took the liberty to walk down the hallway as if I said it were okay. I followed her to the steamy bathroom anyway.
Without saying another word to one another, I undressed her slowly. Silent tears fell from her eyes. She undressed me next. We got in the hot shower kissing, washing, and massaging one another. It was as if the hot water was washing away her sin. I had a forging heart. That was my nature. I didnât care about any mistakes she made because I loved her unconditionally.
She didnât have to ask me to make love to her. Her body had been begging to be touched by me the moment she walked into my door. As soon as I entered into her pillow-like moist center, I felt as if I never wanted to get out of her. We were resolidifying.
âYou belong to me,â I said, thrusting into her most tender place.
âYes⦠I donât want anyone else, but you.â
âAre you sure about that?â
âYesâ¦. Oh, yes⦠Baby, Iâm yours. This pussy is yours.â
My ego needed to hear that. As we climaxed, we shared an orgasm. We got out of the shower and lay in the bed. For a few minutes, we were silent. For some reason, I sighed loudly, when my thoughts became too heavy. Would I really be the last man? I wasnât sure if I could trust her ever again.
âLook, he meant nothing,â she said, reading my mind.
âI donât want to talk about him.â
She stared at me oddly with her head cocked to the side. âHow can you say you forgive me if you think I will cheat on you again?â
âI forgive you, but I wonât forget.â
âSo, what happens between us now?â
âWe have to go to my parents and theyâll tell us what to do next.â
âWhy do your parents have to be our guide? How come we canât do whatever we want to do?â
âBecause we canât. From now on, we have to follow all of the rules.â
âI want us to start all over, Rain. I really do, but I want you to make our own decisions. I want us to make our own decisions. Iâll see you later.â
âWhere are you going?â
âBack to the dorm.â
âWhat? Oh, hell no. I wonât let you use me for sex, Essence. I donât play these types of games. Either youâre here with me or youâre not.â
She kissed the side of my face. âIâll come back to see you tomorrow.â
âYou better stay right here.â
She chuckled. âAre you afraid I wonât
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
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