Persuasion by Owner

hard and then he puts it inside his lady and then he plants
    his seed and that's how babies are made.”
    “Does it hurt? It sounds painful. How hard does it become?” Lily replied,
    more confused than ever.
    “Miss Lily!” Janie scolded. “I'm a spinster! How should I know?”
    “Sorry, Janie. Well, has someone spoken to you of this snake?”
    “Of course, how do you think I know about it? But yes, at first, according to
    my sister Sarah and she's had six children, so she should know! But
    afterward, she says it can be quite pleasurable.” Janie ducked her head. “But
    that is a confidence, miss. You oughtn't be asking me about all this.”
    “Thank you for telling me, Janie. I know you felt uncomfortable.”
    “It's your mama's job to tell you this kind of thing, Miss Lily.”
    “I know, but I don't think mama is altogether collected enough to tell me
    about anything of this nature. I'm truly grateful, Janie. I did not know who
    else to ask, but knew that I had to know about it before . . . well, I wed.”
    “Yes, miss, I know. If that's all you need . . . ?”
    “Of course, you can retire now.”
    “Thanks, miss.” Janie bobbed a curtsy and then hurried away as quickly as
    possible, obviously fearful that Lily would ask her more questions.
    Hiding a smile at Janie's behavior, Lily contemplated the details of seduction
    and realized that the man who was threatening her into seducing Earl
    fforbes-Hyde, would effectively be ruining her for marriage.
    Any humor she had found at Janie's rapid retreat dissipated instantly. Now
    knowing what it actually entailed, she realized that this would be worse than
    being compromised. For many girls were forced to marry unsuitable men,
    because they had been compromised, whereas she would not have the
    chance to redeem herself in any way. She would be totally lost.
    The only advantage would come from the fact that only three people would
    know of her shame, the man threatening her, the Earl, and herself.
    She closed her eyes at the thought.
    This man was nefarious enough to pressure her into this seduction on pain of
    her mother's life, what was to say that he wouldn't continue to threaten her
    throughout her life? Once he had this information, then he would forever
    have power over her and would have no fear in using it.
    If she did marry and managed to keep this a secret, there would always be
    someone who knew of her shame.
    More than anything, the thought frightened her and a slight tremble had her
    curling on to her side and shivering against her blankets.
    Although it was pointless, for she felt as though her heart had frozen, she
    tried to rub her arms to heat her up but it was indeed to no avail. She felt so
    cold and knew that it would never ever go, that it would follow her through
    her life and felt despairing at the thought.
    When she'd first been accosted by that bastard, the repercussions had failed
    to hit her. Mostly, Lily had been so petrified that he would harm her mother
    and that thought was still with her, but now was the terror that this
    seduction of hers would become known throughout the ton and her mama
    would be affected inadvertently.
    Lily knew that her mama would not be able to withstand the shame were the
    news to break and knew that there was no guarantee that it would not.
    She turned on to her back and stared up at the four poster's ceiling and felt
    tears begin to burn at her eyes and what hurt the most, was the fact that
    the Earl, haunted as he was, had the potential to be the man she had been
    seeking throughout this tedious Season.
    Lily clenched her eyes tightly shut and shook her head against the pillow as
    though denying it physically, meant that it weren't true. But one could not
    lie to oneself and the emotions that the Earl had inspired in her had been so
    foreign and so alien that she could not deny them. What they meant, Lily did
    not know and in the circumstances she did not want to know.
    A part of her thought to how Aunt