Perfect Princess by Meg Cabot Page B

sisters and younger brother… until tragedy struck, that is. Tragedy came to the Romanovs in the form of Rasputin, a so-called holy man who appeared to “cure” Anastasia’s little brother of hemophilia, an incurable disorder. The Russian people were a little more skeptical of Rasputin’s claims, and the royal family’s faith in him shook the Russian people’s faith in the Romanovs. Soon, revolution occurred, and the Romanovs were cruelly set upon and shot in cold blood—although it took longer to kill Anastasia and her sisters, because they had sewn the family jewels into their corsets, and the bullets kept bouncing off them.
    Which should be a lesson to us all: Never listen to the advice of charlatans.
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    [Also, it is probably a bad idea to wear bras made out of diamonds.]
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    The bodies of Anastasia and her brother, incidentally, were never found, leading many to believe that the youngest Romanov daughter might still be alive today.
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    [If Anastasia is still alive, can I just say, RUN! Get out now while the going is good! Don’t let them find you and force YOU to take princess lessons every day, like me! Save yourself!]
    Mia’s Random Act of Princess:
    Be like Anastasia: Be kind to your younger siblings. Take them to the park or to a movie. You never know whether you might need to use one of them as a human shield in the event of an assassination attempt.
    ALETA, QUEEN OF THE MISTY ISLES
    Amelia insists that I include a fictional princess or two in addition to the “real life” ones I’ve mentioned. While I find it quite ludicrous to suggest that there are important tips on asserting one’s royalness to be learned from a fictional character, I will admit that, for every Sunday for almost as long as I can remember, I have been mildly impressed by the regal dignity with which the wife of Prince Valiant, the chivalrous gallant of the comics pages, comports herself.

    And it certainly cannot have been easy, attempting to live like a noblewoman in an era during which there were no foundation garments or even mirrors. In addition to which, Aleta seems to have a marked preference for togas… very unflattering to all but the most statuesque of women.
    However, it must be admitted that Valeta and Karen, Valiant and Aleta’s twin daughters, have also proved courageous, if somewhat romantically challenged, princesses. Except for a few lapses during which one or the other of these girls has traipsed off after their father or brother, disguised as a boy with sword in hand, they have shown a good sense that many “real life” princesses today are markedly lacking. In all, I find that the Queen of the Misty Isles and her daughters make for fine, if fictional, examples of royal grace.
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    [The girl who played Aleta in the Prince Valiant movie was the same girl who played Isabel on Roswell. Also, Aleta and Valiant’s son, Prince Arn, is married to a totally cool princess, Maeve, the daughter of King Arthur’s creepy son, Prince Mordred. But Maeve can’t help who her father is— and at least Mordred is better than Darth Vader. Anyway, Maeve is a dog whisperer, just like that guy Robert Redford played in that movie, only with dogs, not horses. Personally, I believe I am a cat whisperer, since Fat Louie will do almost anything I say. Except, you know, get me a soda from the kitchen when I’m busy at the computer. But that’s just because he doesn’t have opposable thumbs.]
    Grandmère’s Random Act of Princess:
    Be like Aleta: Don’t dismiss the awkward, “geeky” boys in your class. It’s entirely possible that one of them might discover he is actually a long-lost prince whose parents were forced to give him up for his own protection… just like Valiant!
    THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA
    While many mock the story of the Princess and the Pea for portraying a heroine who is so absurdly sensitive that she can feel