like embarrassment, and a bit like futility… A little like all of them, or maybe like none of them. He just felt muddled, and dissatisfied, and as if it wasn’t fair.
“Hey, Elliot.”
When Leo called him again, Elliot answered in a voice so low it seemed to echo from the depths of hell.
“A thing like that… Even if we find it, even if I get it back…”
“You’ll throw it away? That’s fine, too; I don’t mind.”
Leo sounded as if he truly didn’t care.
Elliot gave a short groan. Girls entertaining themselves by picking apart his private life over their tea. Money earned in exchange. The bookmark, bought with that money. …In otherwords, he felt, carrying that around as if it was something important would be the same as approving of what the girls had done. He really and truly couldn’t accept that, and yet…
He’d gotten that bookmark from Leo. He’d been rather—no, very—fond of it.
He’d liked it so much he’d thought he
had
to get it back, no matter what.
But.
But.
But—
In Elliot’s mind, a balance that held the choices “Throw it away” and “Keep it” on its two scales wavered and rocked, back and forth. It was beginning to give him a mild headache.
They went down, down, down the stairs, until they reached the first floor. Then they made their way by touch again. They’d been told that the secret passageway came out behind the girls’ dorm, in a place that was almost always deserted. As they went, Elliot managed to squeeze out the words that were lodged in his throat, spitting them out by force.
“…That…stupid bookmark! I…… I’ll……I’m……gonna—”
“Toss it? Keep it?”
Leo spoke from behind him. Elliot yelled, a bit desperately:
“I won’t toss it! But I’ll shut it away somewhere, and I’m not going to think about it ever again! I’ll forget it completely!”
At Elliot’s response, from behind him, Leo laughed merrily.
When they got outside, he might actually punch Leo, Elliot thought, as if he were cursing him— And just then, he walked straight into the wall in front of him with a
thunk
. He hadn’t been looking out for it, and he’d whacked his nose hard. The dull pain made his eyes water.
The dark was partially to blame, but he’d been distracted by Leo behind him, and he apparently hadn’t been paying enough attention to where he was going.
It was the first-floor end of the secret passageway.
“……Oww…… If there’s a wall there, then
say
so!”
Elliot kicked the silent wall, taking his anger out on it for no good reason. At the kick, the mechanism in the wall creaked into motion, and the door began to swing outward. The wind that rushed into the stagnant passage carried the scent of night air, and it was cold.
Outside, night had fallen, and moonlight streamed down through gaps in the clouds. They were behind the girls’ dorm. It was a simple plot of land, not really fit for the term “garden.”
A lone shape stood there.
Possibly it had been startled when the wall abruptly began to move and opened up: It was frozen, facing the passageway where Elliot and Leo stood. They’d been told that this place was nearly always deserted, but there was someone here… A female student. For a moment, both Elliot and Leo were speechless.
With difficulty, Leo spoke the girl’s name:
“Ada Vessalius…”
Meanwhile, hearing her name, Ada looked at the two who’d appeared and said, “Elliot-kun? Leo-kun? Huh? What?” She sounded confused. Of course she was: Part of it was due to the fact that they’d come out of the wall, but the building they’d emerged from was the girls’ dorm. Ada didn’t seem to understand any of it.
And—
Ada was holding a white cat to her chest. A white cat with a bookmark in its mouth. On noticing it, Elliot yelled involuntarily:
“That cat! Moon!”
“What? ‘Moon’? This little one is Snowdrop… Oh, um, I did make sure to leave him at home this morning, but, um……”
Confronted
“Hey, Elliot.”
When Leo called him again, Elliot answered in a voice so low it seemed to echo from the depths of hell.
“A thing like that… Even if we find it, even if I get it back…”
“You’ll throw it away? That’s fine, too; I don’t mind.”
Leo sounded as if he truly didn’t care.
Elliot gave a short groan. Girls entertaining themselves by picking apart his private life over their tea. Money earned in exchange. The bookmark, bought with that money. …In otherwords, he felt, carrying that around as if it was something important would be the same as approving of what the girls had done. He really and truly couldn’t accept that, and yet…
He’d gotten that bookmark from Leo. He’d been rather—no, very—fond of it.
He’d liked it so much he’d thought he
had
to get it back, no matter what.
But.
But.
But—
In Elliot’s mind, a balance that held the choices “Throw it away” and “Keep it” on its two scales wavered and rocked, back and forth. It was beginning to give him a mild headache.
They went down, down, down the stairs, until they reached the first floor. Then they made their way by touch again. They’d been told that the secret passageway came out behind the girls’ dorm, in a place that was almost always deserted. As they went, Elliot managed to squeeze out the words that were lodged in his throat, spitting them out by force.
“…That…stupid bookmark! I…… I’ll……I’m……gonna—”
“Toss it? Keep it?”
Leo spoke from behind him. Elliot yelled, a bit desperately:
“I won’t toss it! But I’ll shut it away somewhere, and I’m not going to think about it ever again! I’ll forget it completely!”
At Elliot’s response, from behind him, Leo laughed merrily.
When they got outside, he might actually punch Leo, Elliot thought, as if he were cursing him— And just then, he walked straight into the wall in front of him with a
thunk
. He hadn’t been looking out for it, and he’d whacked his nose hard. The dull pain made his eyes water.
The dark was partially to blame, but he’d been distracted by Leo behind him, and he apparently hadn’t been paying enough attention to where he was going.
It was the first-floor end of the secret passageway.
“……Oww…… If there’s a wall there, then
say
so!”
Elliot kicked the silent wall, taking his anger out on it for no good reason. At the kick, the mechanism in the wall creaked into motion, and the door began to swing outward. The wind that rushed into the stagnant passage carried the scent of night air, and it was cold.
Outside, night had fallen, and moonlight streamed down through gaps in the clouds. They were behind the girls’ dorm. It was a simple plot of land, not really fit for the term “garden.”
A lone shape stood there.
Possibly it had been startled when the wall abruptly began to move and opened up: It was frozen, facing the passageway where Elliot and Leo stood. They’d been told that this place was nearly always deserted, but there was someone here… A female student. For a moment, both Elliot and Leo were speechless.
With difficulty, Leo spoke the girl’s name:
“Ada Vessalius…”
Meanwhile, hearing her name, Ada looked at the two who’d appeared and said, “Elliot-kun? Leo-kun? Huh? What?” She sounded confused. Of course she was: Part of it was due to the fact that they’d come out of the wall, but the building they’d emerged from was the girls’ dorm. Ada didn’t seem to understand any of it.
And—
Ada was holding a white cat to her chest. A white cat with a bookmark in its mouth. On noticing it, Elliot yelled involuntarily:
“That cat! Moon!”
“What? ‘Moon’? This little one is Snowdrop… Oh, um, I did make sure to leave him at home this morning, but, um……”
Confronted
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