demonstration and said, ‘People pay good money at Alton Towers for what you are about to experience folks. So enjoy the ride!”’
TALKING of boats, David Steele tells us about the chap who had a yacht moored at Millport named Vengeance , possibly in homage to the nuclear submarine that occasionally sails past.
It seems the chap, called Hamish, had taken out a loan to buy the yacht, and on the day the final payment was made, he proudly wore a T-shirt around town with the slogan: “Vengeance is mine!”
BOAT names continued. A reader tells us that the protocol when using VHS radio to contact a boat is to repeat its name three times. He reckons the boat owner on the west coast who named his vessel Woof knew this, as it causes much hilarity to hear the Coastguard contacting the boat and going “ Woof, Woof, Woof ”.
“THERE used to be a boatyard at the Broomielaw,” says Jack Docherty, “which had a boat with the name Sloop du Jour .”
BOAT names continued. Robert Armstrong in Houston says: “At the marina on the Toronto Islands, I was amused by the honesty of one yacht owner who had named his craft Raison Debt . I also recall an owner at Ullapool who named his craft How Much? as that was his wife’s response on hearing of its purchase.”
BOAT names continued. Morning Mist is of course a favourite boat name. Jack Bisset, however, wonders how much the owner of a boat on Loch Lomond enjoyed going to the pub of an evening as he had named his craft Morning Missed .
WE FINALLY weigh anchor on boat names with:
Bobby Holden spotted on the Crinan Canal – Maid Freya Kitt .
Gordon Sutherland was at Kingsridge School in Drumchapel when pupils built a yacht and had to choose a name that connected it to Kingsridge. Alas Sin King was rejected.
A Helensburgh reader saw in the Gareloch, Mama’s Mink .
AEROPLANE seating continued. Jennifer Wilkie tells us she was waiting in the departure lounge of Boston Airport for a flight to Glasgow when her husband, being annoying, told her to go up to the desk and try to get an upgrade.
Shaking her head, she went up to the desk, and said sarcastically, as many Scottish women do: “His lordship was wondering about an upgrade.”
She didn’t expect the woman behind the desk to squeal: “Oh my gawd, his lordship!” and promptly change their seats to first class.
“DID YOU see that American airline Southwest grounded its older Boeing 737s when a 5ft hole appeared in one plane’s fuselage?” said the chap in the pub.
“If it was Ryanair,” said his pal, “they would probably just charge you extra for having a sunroof.”
A BEARSDEN reader tells us he was catching an easyJet flight to London and was mildly surprised when an attractive woman boarded the half-full plane, and decided to sit next to him.
After chatting for a while his ego was deflated when she told him: “I was nervous as this is my first flight on my own. My mum said sit next to someone who looks trustworthy, and you look just like my dad.”
OUR MENTION of cabin crew reminds a Glasgow business traveller: “British Airways’ more sniffy stewards have devised a collective name for the poor folk lumped together back in the World Traveller cabin, which is the airline’s name for economy. It’s World Chav-eller, to reflect their distaste at the riff-raff they now have to look after.”
13.
Politics
Politics, say some people, is no laughing matter. But fortunately Diary readers disagree.
A BIG political story was the Scottish Tory manifesto stating that children should be able to leave school at fourteen to learn a trade.
“Or as one chimney sweep told me,” phoned a reader, “back to the good old days.”
POLITICS, and Clark McGinn tells us: “I was in a Dublin taxi as the dust was settling after their election. I asked the driver for his opinion on the change of government. He replied, ‘New circus – same clowns.”’
DO POLITICIANS have a sense of humour? First Minister Alex
TALKING of boats, David Steele tells us about the chap who had a yacht moored at Millport named Vengeance , possibly in homage to the nuclear submarine that occasionally sails past.
It seems the chap, called Hamish, had taken out a loan to buy the yacht, and on the day the final payment was made, he proudly wore a T-shirt around town with the slogan: “Vengeance is mine!”
BOAT names continued. A reader tells us that the protocol when using VHS radio to contact a boat is to repeat its name three times. He reckons the boat owner on the west coast who named his vessel Woof knew this, as it causes much hilarity to hear the Coastguard contacting the boat and going “ Woof, Woof, Woof ”.
“THERE used to be a boatyard at the Broomielaw,” says Jack Docherty, “which had a boat with the name Sloop du Jour .”
BOAT names continued. Robert Armstrong in Houston says: “At the marina on the Toronto Islands, I was amused by the honesty of one yacht owner who had named his craft Raison Debt . I also recall an owner at Ullapool who named his craft How Much? as that was his wife’s response on hearing of its purchase.”
BOAT names continued. Morning Mist is of course a favourite boat name. Jack Bisset, however, wonders how much the owner of a boat on Loch Lomond enjoyed going to the pub of an evening as he had named his craft Morning Missed .
WE FINALLY weigh anchor on boat names with:
Bobby Holden spotted on the Crinan Canal – Maid Freya Kitt .
Gordon Sutherland was at Kingsridge School in Drumchapel when pupils built a yacht and had to choose a name that connected it to Kingsridge. Alas Sin King was rejected.
A Helensburgh reader saw in the Gareloch, Mama’s Mink .
AEROPLANE seating continued. Jennifer Wilkie tells us she was waiting in the departure lounge of Boston Airport for a flight to Glasgow when her husband, being annoying, told her to go up to the desk and try to get an upgrade.
Shaking her head, she went up to the desk, and said sarcastically, as many Scottish women do: “His lordship was wondering about an upgrade.”
She didn’t expect the woman behind the desk to squeal: “Oh my gawd, his lordship!” and promptly change their seats to first class.
“DID YOU see that American airline Southwest grounded its older Boeing 737s when a 5ft hole appeared in one plane’s fuselage?” said the chap in the pub.
“If it was Ryanair,” said his pal, “they would probably just charge you extra for having a sunroof.”
A BEARSDEN reader tells us he was catching an easyJet flight to London and was mildly surprised when an attractive woman boarded the half-full plane, and decided to sit next to him.
After chatting for a while his ego was deflated when she told him: “I was nervous as this is my first flight on my own. My mum said sit next to someone who looks trustworthy, and you look just like my dad.”
OUR MENTION of cabin crew reminds a Glasgow business traveller: “British Airways’ more sniffy stewards have devised a collective name for the poor folk lumped together back in the World Traveller cabin, which is the airline’s name for economy. It’s World Chav-eller, to reflect their distaste at the riff-raff they now have to look after.”
13.
Politics
Politics, say some people, is no laughing matter. But fortunately Diary readers disagree.
A BIG political story was the Scottish Tory manifesto stating that children should be able to leave school at fourteen to learn a trade.
“Or as one chimney sweep told me,” phoned a reader, “back to the good old days.”
POLITICS, and Clark McGinn tells us: “I was in a Dublin taxi as the dust was settling after their election. I asked the driver for his opinion on the change of government. He replied, ‘New circus – same clowns.”’
DO POLITICIANS have a sense of humour? First Minister Alex
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