don’t you?” I said. “That’s why you don’t want an ultrasound.”
“Sweetie...”
I leaned one arm against the wall and pressed my forehead to it. This could not be happening. Aunt Nora was like me, one of the lucky ones, a survivor. But even if she’d been spared the family curse, that didn’t mean she was immune to cancer. It attacked people without the BRCA mutation all the time. Moreover, I’d never asked her about the gene mutation. For all I knew, she might have it after all.
“Okay, this gel will feel cold,” the woman said.
“Did you have any symptoms? Any at all?” I asked Nora.
“I’m seeing only one ovary... okay, right, we’re going to need to book you in with an oncologist. This will probably need surgery.”
“No...” My aunt’s voice sounded weak and wrung out.
“She’s got private insurance,” I said. “Can you transfer us to St. John’s?”
“Right. Let me just ring them and see. But first let’s get your clothes back on.”
I waited until they’d done that before I turned around to look at her.
Aunt Nora’s eyes were still squeezed shut. Her pain hadn’t been treated or dealt with, though I noticed the woman in scrubs was flicking the needle of a syringe full of something. “You’ll feel a sharp scratch,” she warned my aunt before she slid the needle into the flesh of her arm.
“It’ll be okay,” I said. “I’ve been down this road before. I’ll take care of you.”
“You’ve been through this too many times already,” she whispered.
“There is no ‘too many’ for the people I love. I’ll go through this again with you, no question. We are in this together.” Her eyes were still shut, so she didn’t see me lean against the wall and let the sounds and smells and lifedraining light of the ER wash over me.
“I can’t believe this is happening again,” I said to Colin that night as we stood out in the hallway. Aunt Nora was now at St. John’s.
“You don’t know that it’s cancer.”
“Sure, it might be a totally benign tumor that just busted her ovary. Come on, you don’t believe that.”
“I’m just saying, don’t jump to conclusions. Just because that’s how things played out last time someone in your family had this-”
“The last three times.”
His eyes widened at that, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard me right. “Three times?”
“My family has the BRCA mutation, you heard of it?”
“Oh, right, yes.”
“Even for a family with the mutation, our health history is bad. I think the woman who asked me all about it tonight thought I was lying.”
“How bad?”
“Both my sisters, my mother, her sister, my grandmother and her two sisters-”
“Are you serious?”
“All diagnosed with cancer in their twenties, all dead before the age of forty. Three of them got cancer in the ovaries at some point.”
“ Seriously ?”
“Yeah.”
“So, if you don’t mind my asking, have you ever been treated for cancer?”
“I don’t have the mutation, and I didn’t think my aunt had it either.”
Those liquid brown eyes scanned my face for a moment as he let that sink in. “You must have seen a lot of hospitals.”
“You have no idea.”
“Well, anyhow, we’ve booked her for an MRI first thing tomorrow and we’ll move quickly. I’ll make sure everyone who needs to know, knows about how fast cancers tend to spread in your family.”
“Thank you.”
I went into my aunt’s room and found her staring listlessly at the wall as if it were some dark, infinite, abyss. Her hand, when I took it in mine, was cool. “How are you?”
“Honey, I don’t want surgery.”
“MRI first.”
Her mouth tensed slightly as if she had to fight the urge to say no.
“You can’t just give up,” I said. “You’re a fighter. You’re a survivor. You’re like me.”
That made her gaze flick back to my face. “I’m not as tough as you.”
“Are you kidding? You’re the strongest woman I know. I admire you. We’re
“Sweetie...”
I leaned one arm against the wall and pressed my forehead to it. This could not be happening. Aunt Nora was like me, one of the lucky ones, a survivor. But even if she’d been spared the family curse, that didn’t mean she was immune to cancer. It attacked people without the BRCA mutation all the time. Moreover, I’d never asked her about the gene mutation. For all I knew, she might have it after all.
“Okay, this gel will feel cold,” the woman said.
“Did you have any symptoms? Any at all?” I asked Nora.
“I’m seeing only one ovary... okay, right, we’re going to need to book you in with an oncologist. This will probably need surgery.”
“No...” My aunt’s voice sounded weak and wrung out.
“She’s got private insurance,” I said. “Can you transfer us to St. John’s?”
“Right. Let me just ring them and see. But first let’s get your clothes back on.”
I waited until they’d done that before I turned around to look at her.
Aunt Nora’s eyes were still squeezed shut. Her pain hadn’t been treated or dealt with, though I noticed the woman in scrubs was flicking the needle of a syringe full of something. “You’ll feel a sharp scratch,” she warned my aunt before she slid the needle into the flesh of her arm.
“It’ll be okay,” I said. “I’ve been down this road before. I’ll take care of you.”
“You’ve been through this too many times already,” she whispered.
“There is no ‘too many’ for the people I love. I’ll go through this again with you, no question. We are in this together.” Her eyes were still shut, so she didn’t see me lean against the wall and let the sounds and smells and lifedraining light of the ER wash over me.
“I can’t believe this is happening again,” I said to Colin that night as we stood out in the hallway. Aunt Nora was now at St. John’s.
“You don’t know that it’s cancer.”
“Sure, it might be a totally benign tumor that just busted her ovary. Come on, you don’t believe that.”
“I’m just saying, don’t jump to conclusions. Just because that’s how things played out last time someone in your family had this-”
“The last three times.”
His eyes widened at that, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard me right. “Three times?”
“My family has the BRCA mutation, you heard of it?”
“Oh, right, yes.”
“Even for a family with the mutation, our health history is bad. I think the woman who asked me all about it tonight thought I was lying.”
“How bad?”
“Both my sisters, my mother, her sister, my grandmother and her two sisters-”
“Are you serious?”
“All diagnosed with cancer in their twenties, all dead before the age of forty. Three of them got cancer in the ovaries at some point.”
“ Seriously ?”
“Yeah.”
“So, if you don’t mind my asking, have you ever been treated for cancer?”
“I don’t have the mutation, and I didn’t think my aunt had it either.”
Those liquid brown eyes scanned my face for a moment as he let that sink in. “You must have seen a lot of hospitals.”
“You have no idea.”
“Well, anyhow, we’ve booked her for an MRI first thing tomorrow and we’ll move quickly. I’ll make sure everyone who needs to know, knows about how fast cancers tend to spread in your family.”
“Thank you.”
I went into my aunt’s room and found her staring listlessly at the wall as if it were some dark, infinite, abyss. Her hand, when I took it in mine, was cool. “How are you?”
“Honey, I don’t want surgery.”
“MRI first.”
Her mouth tensed slightly as if she had to fight the urge to say no.
“You can’t just give up,” I said. “You’re a fighter. You’re a survivor. You’re like me.”
That made her gaze flick back to my face. “I’m not as tough as you.”
“Are you kidding? You’re the strongest woman I know. I admire you. We’re
Similar Books
