ringtone.
“E liza!” My dad’s pixellated face smiled out at me. I couldn’t tell where he was. The background was too washed out with light, but I guessed he was at home.
“Hey, Dad.”
“How are you?”
“Um, I’m kind of in the UK.”
“Oh?” He squinted out of the display at me. I saw his gaze take in the wallpapered wall behind me. “Is Nora okay?”
“No, she’s not.”
His smile faded. “Cancer?”
“Probably.”
“Honey, I am so sorry. How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. Her ovary ruptured-”
My dad winced in response to that.
“-and they’re going to do scans and then surgery and we’ll see.”
“Well... drat, honey. I’d thought you’d call with different news.”
“Hmm?”
“Never mind.”
“Wait, what?”
“A young man called last week, asked what your favorite food was, introduced himself to me. His name was Len?”
“Oh... right.”
“I take it you’re dating him?”
“Um, yeah, I was. Not anymore, but we went out for a while.”
“Not anymore?”
“It’s all good.”
“He was an interesting guy.”
“Very diplomatic.”
“I wasn’t being diplomatic. I’m guessing you never went to that restaurant with him? Or did you go and break his heart?”
“No. Things are over, and no one’s heart got broken.”
“Okay. How does that work?”
I tapped my fingernails against the edge of the desk. “Len broke up with me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We were all wrong for each other. He took me to a steakhouse as a grand last date.”
“I see.”
“Yeah, it was weird, but that’s Len.”
“Kind of classy, I have to say. Though it’s too bad. I liked the guy.”
“How long did you talk to him?”
“Oh, I dunno. Twenty minutes? He introduced himself, asked about your favorite restaurant and he was real pleasant. Laughed when I asked him if I needed to get my shotgun and promised me he’d never dream of hurting you. We talked about you for a few minutes-”
“What about me?”
“Well... let me think. After the shotgun comment I asked him why he was taking you to a steakhouse and he just said... what did he say? He said you did a lot of things with him that weren’t your style, like eating microwave burritos and going to children’s movies, and that he couldn’t get you to tell him what you’d really like to do, so he said he got up his courage and called me, and thanked me for getting through the gun threats early in the conversation. I didn’t have the heart to press the guy, though I was burning up with curiosity, wondering if he was gonna propose to you. I didn’t even have a restaurant to recommend him, and he already knew you liked steak. I tried to get a read on what he’d be like as a son-in-law, just in case.”
“Dad, I’d never even told you I was dating him. Why did you think-”
“Two words. Jeremy Carlson.”
“Dad! He was insane, okay? I’d been on three dates with him.”
“Robert Oaks?”
“I told you I was dating him!”
“Before he proposed to you, what? The tenth time?”
“Dad...”
“Guys have been lining up for you since you turned eighteen.”
“Rub it in.”
“Rub what in?”
“That I’m thirty and unmarried and-”
“Whoa there. Guess I hit a nerve. Honey, relax. The right guy will be worth the wait.”
I buried my face in my hands.
“You sure no one’s heart got broken this last time around?”
“Yes!”
“All right.”
“Can we talk about cancer again?”
“Sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, it’s okay. Thanks for letting me vent at you.”
“Did you vent? I didn’t notice. Does that make me compassionate, or just a clueless male?”
“Definitely compassionate.”
“I’m relieved. Anything else you need?”
“Not really.”
“So, I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah. Love you.”
“I love you too, honey.”
The call cut off and I went to eat a slice of tuna casserole. Only, my hand shook. It was hard to get bites of
“E liza!” My dad’s pixellated face smiled out at me. I couldn’t tell where he was. The background was too washed out with light, but I guessed he was at home.
“Hey, Dad.”
“How are you?”
“Um, I’m kind of in the UK.”
“Oh?” He squinted out of the display at me. I saw his gaze take in the wallpapered wall behind me. “Is Nora okay?”
“No, she’s not.”
His smile faded. “Cancer?”
“Probably.”
“Honey, I am so sorry. How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. Her ovary ruptured-”
My dad winced in response to that.
“-and they’re going to do scans and then surgery and we’ll see.”
“Well... drat, honey. I’d thought you’d call with different news.”
“Hmm?”
“Never mind.”
“Wait, what?”
“A young man called last week, asked what your favorite food was, introduced himself to me. His name was Len?”
“Oh... right.”
“I take it you’re dating him?”
“Um, yeah, I was. Not anymore, but we went out for a while.”
“Not anymore?”
“It’s all good.”
“He was an interesting guy.”
“Very diplomatic.”
“I wasn’t being diplomatic. I’m guessing you never went to that restaurant with him? Or did you go and break his heart?”
“No. Things are over, and no one’s heart got broken.”
“Okay. How does that work?”
I tapped my fingernails against the edge of the desk. “Len broke up with me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We were all wrong for each other. He took me to a steakhouse as a grand last date.”
“I see.”
“Yeah, it was weird, but that’s Len.”
“Kind of classy, I have to say. Though it’s too bad. I liked the guy.”
“How long did you talk to him?”
“Oh, I dunno. Twenty minutes? He introduced himself, asked about your favorite restaurant and he was real pleasant. Laughed when I asked him if I needed to get my shotgun and promised me he’d never dream of hurting you. We talked about you for a few minutes-”
“What about me?”
“Well... let me think. After the shotgun comment I asked him why he was taking you to a steakhouse and he just said... what did he say? He said you did a lot of things with him that weren’t your style, like eating microwave burritos and going to children’s movies, and that he couldn’t get you to tell him what you’d really like to do, so he said he got up his courage and called me, and thanked me for getting through the gun threats early in the conversation. I didn’t have the heart to press the guy, though I was burning up with curiosity, wondering if he was gonna propose to you. I didn’t even have a restaurant to recommend him, and he already knew you liked steak. I tried to get a read on what he’d be like as a son-in-law, just in case.”
“Dad, I’d never even told you I was dating him. Why did you think-”
“Two words. Jeremy Carlson.”
“Dad! He was insane, okay? I’d been on three dates with him.”
“Robert Oaks?”
“I told you I was dating him!”
“Before he proposed to you, what? The tenth time?”
“Dad...”
“Guys have been lining up for you since you turned eighteen.”
“Rub it in.”
“Rub what in?”
“That I’m thirty and unmarried and-”
“Whoa there. Guess I hit a nerve. Honey, relax. The right guy will be worth the wait.”
I buried my face in my hands.
“You sure no one’s heart got broken this last time around?”
“Yes!”
“All right.”
“Can we talk about cancer again?”
“Sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, it’s okay. Thanks for letting me vent at you.”
“Did you vent? I didn’t notice. Does that make me compassionate, or just a clueless male?”
“Definitely compassionate.”
“I’m relieved. Anything else you need?”
“Not really.”
“So, I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah. Love you.”
“I love you too, honey.”
The call cut off and I went to eat a slice of tuna casserole. Only, my hand shook. It was hard to get bites of
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