trying to rid myself of the image of Jake’s dead body. I shook my head from side to side and my icy cold body trembled with renewed dread.
Jake slowed his hips—a soft cock was hard to ride—and he became motionless above me. He hadn’t come and the sudden awareness of what happened must’ve stunned him. He climbed off me and my softened dick slid from his ass making me wince. Slow building waves of confusion and frustration radiated from him and threatened to smother me like a thick blanket.
“What the hell?” Jake’s voice was soft in disbelief, probably at my deflated erection.
My fear mingled with shame, and frustration—as well as a healthy dose of anger—and my throat tightened. Jake didn’t understand. He lived in his own little world where bad things didn’t happen, or if they did, they happened to other people.
I kept my eyes closed as I tried to rein in my anger. Anger at Jake, at myself, and anger at the unfairness of the entire fucked-up world.
I swung my legs off the bed and stood, my anger not allowing me to lie down. “Not everything’s about you, Jake,” I spat.
“What? This isn’t about me at all and you know it. I’ve been patient with you and this problem you won’t talk to me about. I said I’d give you time in the hope things would fix themselves or you’d get over it. How long is this going to continue, huh? You’ve changed… you’re not you anymore. I know you’re going through something, but if you won’t tell me what it is, I can’t help you. Your mood swings alone make my head spin. You’ve turned into this… this… moody, selfish asshole.”
I glared at him. “Well, aren’t you just the perfect boyfriend.” The venom in my tone shocked me as well as Jake, and I wished my mouth would close and my brain would shut down. I wanted to disengage from this fight, but I couldn’t. All the pressure that built over my last shift and the last month mingled with my exhaustion, and I was on the edge of sanity, about to take that final step over the edge. “You never do anything wrong, do you? You live the perfect life, cocooned in your little tower, never having to deal with real life. You, my parents, Caroline, everyone. All seeing what you want to see and living a life of ignorance. That must be fucking bliss. You can’t keep living like that, you know, the world won’t let you, and one day your perfect life is gonna fall down around you.”
Shock and hurt flooded Jake’s face, and my blood raged through my veins, the pulse at my neck throbbing. Jake stood at the end of our bed looking lost and confused and a whole lot hurt.
He turned and fled to the bathroom. As the door slammed, I heard the telltale running of water through the pipes. Pounding fists and ragged sobs came from the other side of the door and something crashed as Jake screamed out his hurt and frustration.
They were the sounds of a man fighting himself, when he should have been fighting me.
I couldn’t stop the violent shudders that ran through my body. Pulling on some sweats, I left the apartment, slamming the door.
Chapter Ten
Jake
That was the last time we’d been intimate.
It had been a little over two months since Cam had acted like the man I fell in love with.
Cam’s words cut deep enough to bleed, but I put my big-boy pants on and tried to get him to talk about his nightmares that were now relentless. He needed to talk to someone, and I tried to convince him to get help.
Cam turned in on himself and slunk around the apartment in a depressed daze—when he was home, that is—and although I didn’t think he was trying to avoid me, his body screamed stay away .
I refused to back down, but Cam wouldn’t tell me what was going on in his head and I didn’t know what else to do.
The man who owned my soul was crushing it, and our relationship was crumbling around me.
Cam was back on night shift, and he either stayed late and didn’t come home until I’d gone to
Jake slowed his hips—a soft cock was hard to ride—and he became motionless above me. He hadn’t come and the sudden awareness of what happened must’ve stunned him. He climbed off me and my softened dick slid from his ass making me wince. Slow building waves of confusion and frustration radiated from him and threatened to smother me like a thick blanket.
“What the hell?” Jake’s voice was soft in disbelief, probably at my deflated erection.
My fear mingled with shame, and frustration—as well as a healthy dose of anger—and my throat tightened. Jake didn’t understand. He lived in his own little world where bad things didn’t happen, or if they did, they happened to other people.
I kept my eyes closed as I tried to rein in my anger. Anger at Jake, at myself, and anger at the unfairness of the entire fucked-up world.
I swung my legs off the bed and stood, my anger not allowing me to lie down. “Not everything’s about you, Jake,” I spat.
“What? This isn’t about me at all and you know it. I’ve been patient with you and this problem you won’t talk to me about. I said I’d give you time in the hope things would fix themselves or you’d get over it. How long is this going to continue, huh? You’ve changed… you’re not you anymore. I know you’re going through something, but if you won’t tell me what it is, I can’t help you. Your mood swings alone make my head spin. You’ve turned into this… this… moody, selfish asshole.”
I glared at him. “Well, aren’t you just the perfect boyfriend.” The venom in my tone shocked me as well as Jake, and I wished my mouth would close and my brain would shut down. I wanted to disengage from this fight, but I couldn’t. All the pressure that built over my last shift and the last month mingled with my exhaustion, and I was on the edge of sanity, about to take that final step over the edge. “You never do anything wrong, do you? You live the perfect life, cocooned in your little tower, never having to deal with real life. You, my parents, Caroline, everyone. All seeing what you want to see and living a life of ignorance. That must be fucking bliss. You can’t keep living like that, you know, the world won’t let you, and one day your perfect life is gonna fall down around you.”
Shock and hurt flooded Jake’s face, and my blood raged through my veins, the pulse at my neck throbbing. Jake stood at the end of our bed looking lost and confused and a whole lot hurt.
He turned and fled to the bathroom. As the door slammed, I heard the telltale running of water through the pipes. Pounding fists and ragged sobs came from the other side of the door and something crashed as Jake screamed out his hurt and frustration.
They were the sounds of a man fighting himself, when he should have been fighting me.
I couldn’t stop the violent shudders that ran through my body. Pulling on some sweats, I left the apartment, slamming the door.
Chapter Ten
Jake
That was the last time we’d been intimate.
It had been a little over two months since Cam had acted like the man I fell in love with.
Cam’s words cut deep enough to bleed, but I put my big-boy pants on and tried to get him to talk about his nightmares that were now relentless. He needed to talk to someone, and I tried to convince him to get help.
Cam turned in on himself and slunk around the apartment in a depressed daze—when he was home, that is—and although I didn’t think he was trying to avoid me, his body screamed stay away .
I refused to back down, but Cam wouldn’t tell me what was going on in his head and I didn’t know what else to do.
The man who owned my soul was crushing it, and our relationship was crumbling around me.
Cam was back on night shift, and he either stayed late and didn’t come home until I’d gone to
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