them—twelve, three days’ worth, just like the label said. Holly hadn’t taken any.
Glancing at Holly again, taking in the tight lines of his body, Nick ran a glass of water in the kitchen, then carried it and one dose of the painkillers over to the bed.
“Holly. Can you sit up enough to drink this?”
Holly’s breath caught and he swallowed, then nodded. When he moved, he was so slow, biting his lip against the pain. His lashes were damp, his cheeks flushed.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, holding one scraped hand out for the pill and the other for the glass.
Nick didn’t hand them over. This, he could do for Holly. He wanted to, wanted to take away the pain. He wished he could do more than the medication would manage. He set the capsule against Holly’s lips and waited for Holly to open up for him.
Holly opened his mouth obediently, looking up this time with bloodshot eyes. He let Nick give him the medicine, then the water.
God, he looked like shit. Nick wasn’t going to think about it anymore, though, not right now. He put the glass away in the kitchen, then came back to sit on the edge of the bed.
“You might have an easier time getting to sleep now.”
Holly was staring at the ceiling, battered hands leaving smudges on the covers where he clutched them to his chest.
“I’ll try.” He was breathing slowly, like it hurt. “Hurts worse than…Remember that time I broke my arm snowboarding?”
Nick had found out about it secondhand since he’d declined to spend a weekend with twenty drunken freshmen packed in a cabin meant for eight, but it was the first time he’d really grasped what a hazard Holly could be to himself.
“I swear I thought I could pick up enough speed on the roof to clear those trees. I did the math. I think I used the wrong wax on the snowboard.”
“You got hit by a car, ” Nick reminded him. “And apparently you were drunk and high enough that it seemed like a good idea to walk in front if it.” Goddamn it. That was what the rules had been for, to stop Holly from getting himself killed like that. “I’m not surprised it hurts.” Nick sighed and gave in enough to stretch out on the bed, then touched an unbruised spot on Holly’s hip. “Get some rest, Holly. We’ll talk after you’ve had some sleep.”
Holly turned toward him and brushed the back of a hand across Nick’s cheek. “Either you have no damn idea what’s best for you, Nick, or you’re as good as I am at avoiding it.”
Nick knew what was best for him. He did. It just never seemed to matter, when the other option was Holly. “Do you want me to change my mind and leave?” he challenged, but before Holly could answer, he sighed and said, “Shut up and go to sleep, Holly. If not for your sake, then for mine. I’ve been up since five— yesterday. ”
Holly’s deep blue eyes were filled with regret. He looked like he’d aged a decade overnight. “I’ll sleep.” Turning away again, he closed his eyes, and his body slowly relaxed into sleep.
Nick only meant to touch Holly, to be sure he was still breathing, but he ended up sliding closer, curling around Holly’s body like a wall between him and the rest of the world. If Nick couldn’t protect him any other way…
Holly’s body curved back into his until Nick could feel how thin he was instead of just seeing it. He could feel him breathing too, could smell the tang of blood on his skin. Holly inhaled deeply, and his breath caught. Then he sighed heavily in his sleep.
Petting gently, so he wouldn’t hurt him, Nick tried to soothe Holly into a deeper sleep. Holly needed the rest. Nick needed the rest too, but it wasn’t likely to come when he was so twisted up inside. He mulled over his options, ways to prevent a repeat of tonight’s chaos, and dozed here and there as he put the pieces together in his mind.
***
The pain that woke Holly brought his foolishness into perfect focus before he’d even opened his eyes, but it was nothing next
Glancing at Holly again, taking in the tight lines of his body, Nick ran a glass of water in the kitchen, then carried it and one dose of the painkillers over to the bed.
“Holly. Can you sit up enough to drink this?”
Holly’s breath caught and he swallowed, then nodded. When he moved, he was so slow, biting his lip against the pain. His lashes were damp, his cheeks flushed.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, holding one scraped hand out for the pill and the other for the glass.
Nick didn’t hand them over. This, he could do for Holly. He wanted to, wanted to take away the pain. He wished he could do more than the medication would manage. He set the capsule against Holly’s lips and waited for Holly to open up for him.
Holly opened his mouth obediently, looking up this time with bloodshot eyes. He let Nick give him the medicine, then the water.
God, he looked like shit. Nick wasn’t going to think about it anymore, though, not right now. He put the glass away in the kitchen, then came back to sit on the edge of the bed.
“You might have an easier time getting to sleep now.”
Holly was staring at the ceiling, battered hands leaving smudges on the covers where he clutched them to his chest.
“I’ll try.” He was breathing slowly, like it hurt. “Hurts worse than…Remember that time I broke my arm snowboarding?”
Nick had found out about it secondhand since he’d declined to spend a weekend with twenty drunken freshmen packed in a cabin meant for eight, but it was the first time he’d really grasped what a hazard Holly could be to himself.
“I swear I thought I could pick up enough speed on the roof to clear those trees. I did the math. I think I used the wrong wax on the snowboard.”
“You got hit by a car, ” Nick reminded him. “And apparently you were drunk and high enough that it seemed like a good idea to walk in front if it.” Goddamn it. That was what the rules had been for, to stop Holly from getting himself killed like that. “I’m not surprised it hurts.” Nick sighed and gave in enough to stretch out on the bed, then touched an unbruised spot on Holly’s hip. “Get some rest, Holly. We’ll talk after you’ve had some sleep.”
Holly turned toward him and brushed the back of a hand across Nick’s cheek. “Either you have no damn idea what’s best for you, Nick, or you’re as good as I am at avoiding it.”
Nick knew what was best for him. He did. It just never seemed to matter, when the other option was Holly. “Do you want me to change my mind and leave?” he challenged, but before Holly could answer, he sighed and said, “Shut up and go to sleep, Holly. If not for your sake, then for mine. I’ve been up since five— yesterday. ”
Holly’s deep blue eyes were filled with regret. He looked like he’d aged a decade overnight. “I’ll sleep.” Turning away again, he closed his eyes, and his body slowly relaxed into sleep.
Nick only meant to touch Holly, to be sure he was still breathing, but he ended up sliding closer, curling around Holly’s body like a wall between him and the rest of the world. If Nick couldn’t protect him any other way…
Holly’s body curved back into his until Nick could feel how thin he was instead of just seeing it. He could feel him breathing too, could smell the tang of blood on his skin. Holly inhaled deeply, and his breath caught. Then he sighed heavily in his sleep.
Petting gently, so he wouldn’t hurt him, Nick tried to soothe Holly into a deeper sleep. Holly needed the rest. Nick needed the rest too, but it wasn’t likely to come when he was so twisted up inside. He mulled over his options, ways to prevent a repeat of tonight’s chaos, and dozed here and there as he put the pieces together in his mind.
***
The pain that woke Holly brought his foolishness into perfect focus before he’d even opened his eyes, but it was nothing next
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