One or Two Things I Learned About Love

One or Two Things I Learned About Love by Dyan Sheldon

Book: One or Two Things I Learned About Love by Dyan Sheldon Read Free Book Online
Authors: Dyan Sheldon
and took out my fan. I thought I’d lost it but it must’ve fallen out of my bag the other night. I was really happy to get it back. Connor wanted to know why Green Pick-up Guy gave me a fan. I said because Zelda killed mine. He said that didn’t explain why Green Pick-up Guy bought me a new one. I said just because he’s nice, that’s all. Connor said he must be practically a saint to buy stuff for a girl he gets his potatoes from. Then he said he had to go home. His father’s laying down the law. I said well, he is a lawyer. Connor said, “Yeah.” So there was no steaming up the windows of the car tonight.
    Nomi said I should’ve asked Connor if when Salome Hornstein flirted with him he flirted back. See what I mean about her?
    It’s really weird. Nothing happened with me and Connor but I kind of feel like it did. It reminds me of when I went to Nomi’s fire pit and he acted like he was mad at me but he said he wasn’t. I’m being paranoid. He can’t be mad at me. I haven’t done anything.

    No
Good morning
! text from Connor. Figured he probably overslept and had to race to work. Texted him while I was having breakfast. Texted from the stand. Called a couple of times, got the voicemail. Nomi thinks I’m winding myself up over nothing. Welcome to the real world. She said she can go days without hearing from Jax. (As if there’s any comparison between her and Jax, and me and Connor.) I said but Connor always texts me. And he usually calls me on his breaks. Nomi said well maybe he’s really busy at work. Or he lost his phone or left it at home or the dog ate it or something. Didn’t Louie’s dog eat his phone once? (That was Scorsese. Of course. Louie figured Scorsese was having trouble dialling so he ate it in frustration.) I said but what if it’s None of the Above? What if something happened to him? What if he had an accident on the way home? You’re always reading about youths whose lives are cut tragically short because they skidded in the snow and lost control of the car. Nomi said, “Hildy, it’s July. If he skidded on snow he’s some kind of magician and you don’t have to worry about him hurting himself.” I said OK, not snow, but he could’ve hit a moose. Nomi said, “Or he could’ve left his phone in his shirt pocket and put it in the hamper like Jax did that time.” I said but if Connor did have an accident it probably wouldn’t occur to his parents to tell me. Even if his phone wasn’t destroyed in the crash and they had my number, why would they think I should be told? I haven’t even known him a month. And anyway they’re probably keeping vigil at the hospital. You can’t expect them to think of calling his friends when they’re sitting at his bedside, watching the monitor, beepbeepbeepbeep. Nomi wanted to know if I’ve completely lost my mind. She said it could be the chlorine in the Palacios’ pool. Chlorine can definitely do harm. I said I’m sorry but thinking Connor had an accident isn’t any weirder than thinking he threw his phone in the wash. Nomi said, “Well how was he when you saw him last night? Did you guys have a fight?” I said of course we didn’t have a fight. We have nothing to fight about. I said he didn’t hang out long, but that was because he was wiped out after the game. Nomi said boys are like that. They hit a wall and it’s all over. She’s seen Jax so tired that even if every guitar legend, living and dead, pulled up in a bus outside the house he would still fall asleep.
    Planned to go and help Louie tonight because of missing Tuesday but I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Still no word from Connor. Watched a movie about something with Zelda, phone in my shirt pocket next to my heart. No messages. Heart and phone both empty. Called Nomi. She decided it
is
weird that he’s not answering. Unless he was suddenly called away by the President to bring peace to the Middle East. She said, “So he didn’t skid in the snow and you did have a

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