One Day by David Nicholls

this bloke banging on about how horny he is all the time.’
    ‘I thought it would strike a chord.’ She raised her sunglasses. ‘It’s a very erotic book, Dex.’
    ‘Only if you’re into little girls.’
    ‘Tell me one more time, why were you sacked from that Language School in Rome?’
    ‘I’ve told you, she was twenty-three years old, Em!’
    ‘Go to sleep then.’ She picked up her Russian novel. ‘Philistine.’
    He settled his head once more against his rucksack, but twopeople were by his side now, casting a shadow over his face. The girl was pretty and nervous, the boy large and pale, almost magnesium white in the morning sun.
    ‘Scuse me,’ said the girl in a Midlands accent.
    Dexter shielded his eyes and smiled broadly up at them. ‘Hi there.’
    ‘Aren’t you that bloke off the telly?’
    ‘Might be,’ said Dexter, sitting and removing his sunglasses with a raffish little flick of his head. Emma quietly groaned.
    ‘What’s it called?
largin’ it!’
The title of the TV show was always spelt in lower case, lower being the more fashionable of the two cases at this time.
    Dexter held his hand up. ‘Guilty as charged!’
    Emma laughed briefly through her nose, and Dexter shot her a look. ‘Funny bit,’ she explained, nodding towards her Dostoyevsky.
    ‘I knew I’d seen you on the telly!’ The girl nudged her boyfriend. ‘I said so, didn’t I?’
    The pale man shuffled and mumbled, then silence. Dexter became aware of the chug of the engines and
Lolita
lying open on his chest. He slipped it quietly into his bag. ‘On holiday, are ya?’ he asked. The question was clearly redundant, but allowed him to slip into his television persona, that of a really great, down to earth guy who they’d just met at the bar.
    ‘Yeah, holiday,’ mumbled the man.
    More dead air. ‘This is my friend Emma.’
    Emma peered over her sunglasses. ‘Hi there.’
    The girl squinted at her. ‘Are you on television too?’
    ‘Me? God, no.’ She widened her eyes. ‘Though it is my dream.’
    ‘Emma works for Amnesty International,’ said Dexter proudly, one hand on her shoulder.
    ‘Part-time. Mainly I work in a restaurant.’
    ‘As a manager. But she’s just about to pack it in. She’s trainin’ to be a teacher in September, aren’t you, Em?’
    Emma looked at him levelly. ‘Why are you talking like that?’
    ‘Like wha’?’ Dexter laughed defiantly, but the young couple were shifting uneasily, the man looking over the ship’s side as if contemplating the jump. Dexter decided to round up the interview. ‘So we’ll see you on the beach, yeah? Maybe get a beer or summink?’ and the couple smiled and headed back to their bench.
    Dexter had never consciously set out to be famous, though he had always wanted to be successful, and what was the point of being successful in private? People should know. Now that fame had happened to him it did make a certain sense, as if fame were a natural extension of being popular at school. He hadn’t set out to be a TV presenter either – did anyone? – but was delighted to be told that he was a natural. Appearing on camera had been like sitting at a piano for the first time and discovering he was a virtuoso. The show itself was less issue-based than other shows he had worked on, really just a series of live bands, video exclusives, celebrity interviews, and yes, okay, it wasn’t exactly demanding, all he really did was look at the camera and shout ‘make some noise!’ But he did it so well, so attractively, with such swagger and charm.
    But public recognition remained a new experience. He was self-aware enough to know that he possessed a certain facility for what Emma would call ‘prattishness’ and with this in mind he had been investing some private effort into working out what to do with his face. Anxious not to appear affected or cocky or a fake, he had been devising an expression that said
hey, it’s no big deal, it’s only TV
and he assumed this