Once Were Cops
holdall, bulletproof vests,
    sawnoffs and numerous handguns, said,
    “They’re expecting us at the club, reason I’ve been
    casing it, let them think I’m going to go in there,
    and McCarthy, they’re waiting too, but Fernandez,
    he visits a little chickie on the West Side, gets
    himself a bit of poontang before he goes clubbing,
    that’s where we’re going, now, you still up for it?”
    I began to put on the vest, asked, “Take a wild
    guess?” We were good to go and Kebar said,
    “Glad to have you on board, kid.”
    The duality, hell of a word that, isn’t it, was in full
    force, I liked Kebar but I had made my plans and
    with regret, I sneaked a look at him, he really did
    see me as his backup guy, I think this is where
    other people feel that thing they call regret, I don’t
    know about that but both sides of me were at war
    about my intended action.
    On the way to the West Side, we didn’t talk,
    double-checked our firepower. The street was
    deserted and Kebar pointed to a run-down
    apartment, said, “He’s on the ground floor.”
    Checked his watch, said, “He should be just about
    getting his ashes hauled now.” I asked, “This is not
    an arrest?” He said, “Not too late for you to bail.”
    We jimmied the door with a small pick, went in
    real quiet and a guy was dozing on a recliner,
    Kebar shot him in the gut then kicked in the
    bedroom door, Fernandez was indeed on the job
    and Kebar opened up with the Magnum, a volley of
    shots, not much chance the lady was going to
    survive.
    Kebar came back out, said,
    “Scatter those packages of coke all over the place,
    make it look like a dope deal gone to shit.”
    Like that was going to fly.

    Kebar was surveying the scene when I moved up to
    him, whispered.
    ” ‘Twas me fucked your sister.”
    His howl of anguish was cut short by the two
    rounds I put in his skull.
    I think you can figure which side of my duality won
    out.
    I had to move fast but didn’t really feel hurried, I
    had it all mapped out in my head.
    Left Kebar’s car at the scene, caught the train, then
    grabbed a cab, had him go past Fernandez’s club,
    saw Gino was in place. I had his apartment from
    traffic citations.
    I had the cab drop me about five blocks from there
    and then strolled over. Easy to boost his door, the
    dumb fuck, didn’t he ever hear of deadlocks?
    Boy, did I get lucky, found the envelope with the
    picture of me accepting the money from Morronni
    under a pile of dirty socks.
    I cleaned the Ruger, still smelled the cordite from
    the recent firing, and I stashed it in a rag under his
    mattress, and reluctantly, my last two remaining
    sets of green
    Hated like hell to let them go.
    Walked another five blocks, then made a call to
    911, reported shots from Fernandez’s address.
    Then I caught the train to Brooklyn, had me a large
    Jameson and chicken on rye, put lots of mayo on, I
    love that stuff, I turned on the TV and caught an
    episode of Veronica Mars, jeez, she is so hot.
    I wondered how she’d look with the beads.
    Turned in shortly after, man, I was beat. Next day,
    all kinds of shitstorms had erupted.
    I was summoned to O’Brien’s office, where
    regretfully, he informed me that Kebar had been
    killed after he attempted to arrest Fernandez. As a
    matter of form, he asked where I was and I said I’d
    been home watching the ball game, this was the
    two hours before Veronica Mars.
    I asked if I could see the head of the task force.

    O’Brien was surprised but made the call.
    Peters arrived, mumbled something about sorry for
    the loss of my partner, he almost sounded sincere.
    Almost.
    I said,
    “I’ve been following Gino for a while and I jotted
    down some of the neighborhoods he was cruising
    in.”
    Peters said,
    ‘So?’
    “I checked the papers, those are the places the girls
    were strangled.”
    He chewed my arse about going out on my own and
    when he was done, I asked,
    “You want to hear the rest or not?”
    He did, begrudgingly. I

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