getting used to this whole shock revelation. As I say, there are so many questions, I need to think it all through before I do anything.’
‘What is there to think about, Mum?’
‘Well, there are practicalities, like how do I go about finding out who I really am?’
Her voice has a slight tremor, and though she strives to conceal it, Susie’s mind is in turmoil. She releases Mannie’s hand and pours tea.
‘From what little I know, I think it could be very difficult finding out who my mother was, or at least, tracking her down. She may not want to be found. She might have died. She might have covered her tracks. Or take another scenario – what if I do track her down and we don’t get on? What if she’s resentful, or frightened, or has her own family and she hasn't told them about me? What if she’s not a very nice person? How do you think I would feel – we all would feel – about that? Shouldn’t we maybe be just thankful that I had such loving parents, who really did want me? What if she has a family, and they are also rather unpleasant? Say she’s very ill and wants to come and live here? Would we be able to take that on? It’s a minefield, Mannie, all of this. I need to think about it very carefully before I do anything.’
Mannie purses her lips then chews on the lower one. At length she smiles. ‘Well,’ she says, ‘I think the place to start is probably the Register Office. I’ll call tomorrow and find out what the procedure is, will I?’
‘Tch!’ Susie laughs and shakes her head resignedly. ‘How did I know you’d say that, my darling, impossibly impatient daughter? Well, just don’t expect me to help you, Mannie, I’ve got enough other problems at the moment.’
On the way home, Mannie can talk about nothing other than her mother’s news. Cal, who is driving, grunts occasionally but doesn’t otherwise contribute to the one-sided flow of comment.
‘Can you believe it, Cal? I mean, I knew she was bothered about something, because I’ve never seen her do so badly on the telly, but adopted! I told her, we’ve got to find out who her mother was and why she was adopted, we have to see if she’s still around.’
Cal stops at a red light and Mannie pauses momentarily. When the light turns to green, she starts off again.
‘I’ve just realised—’ her hand flies to her mouth and she gives a small squeal. Callum inclines his head a fraction towards her, the motion showing enough interest to encourage her to continue. ‘I could have a whole other family! Christ! I could have uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents—’ she tails off, having run out of relatives to consider.
As they approach Portobello, where Cal is dropping her back home, she’s still in full flow. ‘So I said to Mum, I’ll do the spade work. I’ve got a few days off soon, I’ll do whatever I have to do. I can start by finding out what steps we have to take. I guess it could be difficult, I mean, if her mother hasn’t left many clues, but on the other hand, you never know, I could get lucky. We could know in a matter of days who—’
Cal interrupts gently. ‘Mannie, slow down will you?’ He decelerates for a corner and Mannie looks at him, surprised at the interruption to her galloping thoughts. ‘What does your mother say about this?’
‘Oh she’s cool.’ She qualifies this assertion. ‘I guess. She just said she hadn’t time to help me.’
‘Don’t you think you should let the whole thing settle for a bit, while you mull it over? You’ve all survived pretty well for, how long, fifty-odd years in your mother’s case, surely you can manage another few weeks while you work out – as a family – what steps you want to take?’
‘Oh no, I don’t think so,’ Mannie says. ‘We have to know.’
Cal spots a parking space outside Mannie’s flat and manoeuvres the car deftly into it.
‘Coming up?’
He switches off the engine, but shakes his head. ‘I don’t think so, love. I’ve still
‘What is there to think about, Mum?’
‘Well, there are practicalities, like how do I go about finding out who I really am?’
Her voice has a slight tremor, and though she strives to conceal it, Susie’s mind is in turmoil. She releases Mannie’s hand and pours tea.
‘From what little I know, I think it could be very difficult finding out who my mother was, or at least, tracking her down. She may not want to be found. She might have died. She might have covered her tracks. Or take another scenario – what if I do track her down and we don’t get on? What if she’s resentful, or frightened, or has her own family and she hasn't told them about me? What if she’s not a very nice person? How do you think I would feel – we all would feel – about that? Shouldn’t we maybe be just thankful that I had such loving parents, who really did want me? What if she has a family, and they are also rather unpleasant? Say she’s very ill and wants to come and live here? Would we be able to take that on? It’s a minefield, Mannie, all of this. I need to think about it very carefully before I do anything.’
Mannie purses her lips then chews on the lower one. At length she smiles. ‘Well,’ she says, ‘I think the place to start is probably the Register Office. I’ll call tomorrow and find out what the procedure is, will I?’
‘Tch!’ Susie laughs and shakes her head resignedly. ‘How did I know you’d say that, my darling, impossibly impatient daughter? Well, just don’t expect me to help you, Mannie, I’ve got enough other problems at the moment.’
On the way home, Mannie can talk about nothing other than her mother’s news. Cal, who is driving, grunts occasionally but doesn’t otherwise contribute to the one-sided flow of comment.
‘Can you believe it, Cal? I mean, I knew she was bothered about something, because I’ve never seen her do so badly on the telly, but adopted! I told her, we’ve got to find out who her mother was and why she was adopted, we have to see if she’s still around.’
Cal stops at a red light and Mannie pauses momentarily. When the light turns to green, she starts off again.
‘I’ve just realised—’ her hand flies to her mouth and she gives a small squeal. Callum inclines his head a fraction towards her, the motion showing enough interest to encourage her to continue. ‘I could have a whole other family! Christ! I could have uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents—’ she tails off, having run out of relatives to consider.
As they approach Portobello, where Cal is dropping her back home, she’s still in full flow. ‘So I said to Mum, I’ll do the spade work. I’ve got a few days off soon, I’ll do whatever I have to do. I can start by finding out what steps we have to take. I guess it could be difficult, I mean, if her mother hasn’t left many clues, but on the other hand, you never know, I could get lucky. We could know in a matter of days who—’
Cal interrupts gently. ‘Mannie, slow down will you?’ He decelerates for a corner and Mannie looks at him, surprised at the interruption to her galloping thoughts. ‘What does your mother say about this?’
‘Oh she’s cool.’ She qualifies this assertion. ‘I guess. She just said she hadn’t time to help me.’
‘Don’t you think you should let the whole thing settle for a bit, while you mull it over? You’ve all survived pretty well for, how long, fifty-odd years in your mother’s case, surely you can manage another few weeks while you work out – as a family – what steps you want to take?’
‘Oh no, I don’t think so,’ Mannie says. ‘We have to know.’
Cal spots a parking space outside Mannie’s flat and manoeuvres the car deftly into it.
‘Coming up?’
He switches off the engine, but shakes his head. ‘I don’t think so, love. I’ve still
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