up and I'll order a taxi."
"A taxi?" Leah couldn't believe her ears.
"I'm sending you home," he said.
" Sending me? Like some sort of parcel? You don't like the goods that you've had delivered, so you just send it back?" Leah was losing control now. How the hell could he humiliate her like this?
"Oh there's nothing I'd like more at this moment than to take you upstairs to my room and shag you all night,” he snapped. “But now, I can see it would be wrong, that you're too vulnerable. There's really no future in it. You might finish up getting hurt."
He raked his fingers through his hair, then gently held her, kissing her lightly on the top of her head.
"You're going home," he said.
§
Leah sat in the taxi, barely able to believe what had just happened. She’d gone to his house, made it plain that she was there for the night, and he had thrown her out! Well, not exactly thrown , but he had certainly made it clear that she was going home. She felt emotional: angry that he’d turned her away, humiliated that it had all gone so terribly wrong, and ashamed that she’d even considered turning up in the first place. She knew that he really had mentioned the dress and having fun. She had wanted him, she’d agonised about going and now she was overcome with embarrassment at the outcome.
She scrambled out of the taxi, opened the door to the small rented house and ran upstairs to her room.
Desperately, she ripped the dress off and flung it into the far corner of the bedroom. She got into bed, although it was still light, and pulled the sheet up over her. At last the tears could come. She’d made a complete and utter fool of herself and James had used her. Or not used her, which was somehow even worse.
Shag her, he'd said – such an ugly word. And if that's how he felt about her, then it really was all just another casual night for him, probably one of many.
Leah was devastated. She never wanted to see or speak to him again. The memory of that day in Oxford was ruined. She didn't think that she could bring herself to tell anyone about it, even Emma. It was a night she simply wanted to forget.
§
Leah tossed and turned all through the night, unable to settle. In the morning she staggered down to the kitchen and made herself a cup of strong coffee. Emma appeared and took one look at her.
"Well?" she asked, as she put two slices of bread into the toaster. "How did it go?"
Leah hung her head in her hands; in spite of her intentions she had to tell someone, and Emma was a true friend.
So she went through everything that had happened, all that was said, how she’d come back early and of course her feelings of shame for going there and humiliation that he’d sent her away again ...
Emma removed her slices of toast from the toaster, buttered them, then sat down quietly. As usual, she was thinking things over before she spoke. Oh, how Leah wished she could be half as sensible.
"So, he wouldn't sleep with you," Emma said. "He wouldn't let you drink and sent you home."
"Yes! How humiliating! He turned me down, and he was the one who suggested the idea in the first place, then changed his mind."
"I think perhaps he was being honest when he said he didn't think you'd turn up. He probably realised he shouldn't have made the suggestion."
"You're taking his side," Leah said, dismayed.
"There isn't a side. He must have just had second thoughts,” Emma continued. “He said you might get hurt. Be honest, did you expect to stay longer, then start seeing him, going on dates, having an affair, all that? You knew he wasn't up for that. Also you know that he's involved with Elizabeth."
"I don't know,” Leah sighed. “He just confuses me. I get angry, but I can't stop thinking about him ..."
"Well," Emma said softly, "better to be a bit let down now than really hurt later."
"What am I going to do?" Leah asked.
"Just forget him."
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
James
By the time
"A taxi?" Leah couldn't believe her ears.
"I'm sending you home," he said.
" Sending me? Like some sort of parcel? You don't like the goods that you've had delivered, so you just send it back?" Leah was losing control now. How the hell could he humiliate her like this?
"Oh there's nothing I'd like more at this moment than to take you upstairs to my room and shag you all night,” he snapped. “But now, I can see it would be wrong, that you're too vulnerable. There's really no future in it. You might finish up getting hurt."
He raked his fingers through his hair, then gently held her, kissing her lightly on the top of her head.
"You're going home," he said.
§
Leah sat in the taxi, barely able to believe what had just happened. She’d gone to his house, made it plain that she was there for the night, and he had thrown her out! Well, not exactly thrown , but he had certainly made it clear that she was going home. She felt emotional: angry that he’d turned her away, humiliated that it had all gone so terribly wrong, and ashamed that she’d even considered turning up in the first place. She knew that he really had mentioned the dress and having fun. She had wanted him, she’d agonised about going and now she was overcome with embarrassment at the outcome.
She scrambled out of the taxi, opened the door to the small rented house and ran upstairs to her room.
Desperately, she ripped the dress off and flung it into the far corner of the bedroom. She got into bed, although it was still light, and pulled the sheet up over her. At last the tears could come. She’d made a complete and utter fool of herself and James had used her. Or not used her, which was somehow even worse.
Shag her, he'd said – such an ugly word. And if that's how he felt about her, then it really was all just another casual night for him, probably one of many.
Leah was devastated. She never wanted to see or speak to him again. The memory of that day in Oxford was ruined. She didn't think that she could bring herself to tell anyone about it, even Emma. It was a night she simply wanted to forget.
§
Leah tossed and turned all through the night, unable to settle. In the morning she staggered down to the kitchen and made herself a cup of strong coffee. Emma appeared and took one look at her.
"Well?" she asked, as she put two slices of bread into the toaster. "How did it go?"
Leah hung her head in her hands; in spite of her intentions she had to tell someone, and Emma was a true friend.
So she went through everything that had happened, all that was said, how she’d come back early and of course her feelings of shame for going there and humiliation that he’d sent her away again ...
Emma removed her slices of toast from the toaster, buttered them, then sat down quietly. As usual, she was thinking things over before she spoke. Oh, how Leah wished she could be half as sensible.
"So, he wouldn't sleep with you," Emma said. "He wouldn't let you drink and sent you home."
"Yes! How humiliating! He turned me down, and he was the one who suggested the idea in the first place, then changed his mind."
"I think perhaps he was being honest when he said he didn't think you'd turn up. He probably realised he shouldn't have made the suggestion."
"You're taking his side," Leah said, dismayed.
"There isn't a side. He must have just had second thoughts,” Emma continued. “He said you might get hurt. Be honest, did you expect to stay longer, then start seeing him, going on dates, having an affair, all that? You knew he wasn't up for that. Also you know that he's involved with Elizabeth."
"I don't know,” Leah sighed. “He just confuses me. I get angry, but I can't stop thinking about him ..."
"Well," Emma said softly, "better to be a bit let down now than really hurt later."
"What am I going to do?" Leah asked.
"Just forget him."
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
James
By the time
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