California Diaries #5: Ducky
Ann M. Martin
The author gratefully acknowledges Peter Lerangis for his help in preparing this manuscript.
ISBN 0-590-29839-9
Copyright © 1998 by Ann M. Martin.
All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.
CALIFORNIA DIARIES is a trademark of Scholastic Inc.
Printed in the U.S.A.
First Scholastic printing, February 1998
This eBook is for educational and reference purposes only. It is not intended to infringe on or circumvent copyright. No monetary gain is made from the distribution of this eBook.
Feb. 12
Saturday is Valentine’s Day.
So we will be allowed to celebrate it at school TOMORROW, Friday.
Unless you don’t have a Valentine. Like me.
Then you don’t celebrate. You walk around feeling sorry for yourself. You might as well stay home.
But look on the bright side, McCrae.
Tomorrow ALSO happens to be Friday the 13th.
So maybe having a Valentine is unlucky. And the best thing to do is go to school and don’t worry.
You will not worry.
You will not worry.
You will not worry.
During Homeroom, F the 13
Tucked into a Looseleaf Notebook
The place is a zoo, and it’s all my fault.
Flowers everywhere. Teachers acting like kids. Jason tongue-wrestling with Lisa out in the hallway.
JAY, not JASON.
JAY.
JAY.
I hate this. You know somebody for years — he’s spent a whole LIFETIME with one name, and all of a sudden BOOM he decides another one is cooler. So now you have to THINK every time you see hi, and then you have to call him a name that doesn’t fit, sort of like calling a telephone a toaster — BUT god forbid you don’t, because he’ll get mad at you, and of course it would NEVER OCCUR to him or anyone else to wonder if you mind being called “Ducky,” a name
you didn’t CHOOSE, because you’ve always been known by it and besides, it’s better than the name the Cro Mags used to call you, “Bambi” — and hey, CRO MAGS is a nickname YOU
throw around, but that’s just a DESCRIPTION, because those muscle-head jocks DO act like prehistoric Cro-Magnon cavepeople — plus, when you think about it, “Ducky” fits anyway because it’s weird and funny and so are you.
Anyway, congrats, McCrae. You did V Day RIGHT this year.
You did not:
… Stay home and hide, like you wanted to.
… Let Big Brother Ted talk you into a blind date, like the one two years ago with Shelaigh, who wore more makeup than clothing and whose greatest talent was rolling her eyes, tapping her feet, and looking at her watch in three different rhythms.
… Write every single girl in your class a poetic love note, like you did in seventh grade, causing many of them to gang up against you on the playground and three parents to call Mom & Dad complaining you’d broken their daughters’ hearts.
… Make Mom a Valentine’s Day card with so much glue that it stuck to the kitchen table and she got mad at you so you flushed the chocolates you were going to give her down the toilet and clogged it up, ruining the whole day for everyone … that was fourth grade, I think.
Nope, Ducky old boy, you’ve learned the hard way. You don’t need a Special Someone. Today you were EVERYONE ELSE’s [sic] Special Someone.
With style.
The fake halo made of twist-ties, the bow and arrow slung over your back, the big basket of carnations — brilliant. All that was missing was a marquee out front — “Christopher ‘Ducky’
McCrae IS Cupid!”
The girls LOVED it. Especially Sunny, who planted a big wet one on your lips, then actually threaded the stem of the carnation through her navel ring and flashed it around, until Mr. Dean came out of the office. Dawn put HER flower in her long blonde hair and spun around, doing some folk-dancey thing that made her peasant dress spin out. Maggie kissed hers and said she would write a song about it.
Giving flowers to the TEACHERS — that was the best idea of all. From the look on Ms.
Patterson’s face, expect an A in math this semester.
Okay, so
Ann M. Martin
The author gratefully acknowledges Peter Lerangis for his help in preparing this manuscript.
ISBN 0-590-29839-9
Copyright © 1998 by Ann M. Martin.
All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.
CALIFORNIA DIARIES is a trademark of Scholastic Inc.
Printed in the U.S.A.
First Scholastic printing, February 1998
This eBook is for educational and reference purposes only. It is not intended to infringe on or circumvent copyright. No monetary gain is made from the distribution of this eBook.
Feb. 12
Saturday is Valentine’s Day.
So we will be allowed to celebrate it at school TOMORROW, Friday.
Unless you don’t have a Valentine. Like me.
Then you don’t celebrate. You walk around feeling sorry for yourself. You might as well stay home.
But look on the bright side, McCrae.
Tomorrow ALSO happens to be Friday the 13th.
So maybe having a Valentine is unlucky. And the best thing to do is go to school and don’t worry.
You will not worry.
You will not worry.
You will not worry.
During Homeroom, F the 13
Tucked into a Looseleaf Notebook
The place is a zoo, and it’s all my fault.
Flowers everywhere. Teachers acting like kids. Jason tongue-wrestling with Lisa out in the hallway.
JAY, not JASON.
JAY.
JAY.
I hate this. You know somebody for years — he’s spent a whole LIFETIME with one name, and all of a sudden BOOM he decides another one is cooler. So now you have to THINK every time you see hi, and then you have to call him a name that doesn’t fit, sort of like calling a telephone a toaster — BUT god forbid you don’t, because he’ll get mad at you, and of course it would NEVER OCCUR to him or anyone else to wonder if you mind being called “Ducky,” a name
you didn’t CHOOSE, because you’ve always been known by it and besides, it’s better than the name the Cro Mags used to call you, “Bambi” — and hey, CRO MAGS is a nickname YOU
throw around, but that’s just a DESCRIPTION, because those muscle-head jocks DO act like prehistoric Cro-Magnon cavepeople — plus, when you think about it, “Ducky” fits anyway because it’s weird and funny and so are you.
Anyway, congrats, McCrae. You did V Day RIGHT this year.
You did not:
… Stay home and hide, like you wanted to.
… Let Big Brother Ted talk you into a blind date, like the one two years ago with Shelaigh, who wore more makeup than clothing and whose greatest talent was rolling her eyes, tapping her feet, and looking at her watch in three different rhythms.
… Write every single girl in your class a poetic love note, like you did in seventh grade, causing many of them to gang up against you on the playground and three parents to call Mom & Dad complaining you’d broken their daughters’ hearts.
… Make Mom a Valentine’s Day card with so much glue that it stuck to the kitchen table and she got mad at you so you flushed the chocolates you were going to give her down the toilet and clogged it up, ruining the whole day for everyone … that was fourth grade, I think.
Nope, Ducky old boy, you’ve learned the hard way. You don’t need a Special Someone. Today you were EVERYONE ELSE’s [sic] Special Someone.
With style.
The fake halo made of twist-ties, the bow and arrow slung over your back, the big basket of carnations — brilliant. All that was missing was a marquee out front — “Christopher ‘Ducky’
McCrae IS Cupid!”
The girls LOVED it. Especially Sunny, who planted a big wet one on your lips, then actually threaded the stem of the carnation through her navel ring and flashed it around, until Mr. Dean came out of the office. Dawn put HER flower in her long blonde hair and spun around, doing some folk-dancey thing that made her peasant dress spin out. Maggie kissed hers and said she would write a song about it.
Giving flowers to the TEACHERS — that was the best idea of all. From the look on Ms.
Patterson’s face, expect an A in math this semester.
Okay, so
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