over and fix this disaster that has unfolded between you. But…look at me, Maxx.”
His commanding her plants a small seed of jealousy. Dial it back, Kellar. Now is not the time. You can dominate her all you want after you fix this. You will fix this.
“If you are really done with him, I mean 110 percent certain that it’s over, then I’ll respect that. Turn around and walk into my apartment whenever you’re ready. But if you’re not…stop lingering in this miscommunication limbo and work it out…” Turning to me his says, “You’re only shot, Kellar.”
Tony walks back inside leaving Maxx and me alone on his front door step. She wraps her arms around her stomach like she does when she’s frightened, and I see for the first time just how much devastation I’ve caused.
Can it be undone? Should I even waste my breath to try? You’re right. Of course I should.
“What do you want, Kellar?”
“Don’t call me that,” I mumble in a voice that’s barely my own. “You. Never. Call. Me. That.”
Her eyes look down at the ground.
“You can call me sweetheart. You can call me baby. YOU can call me Logan,” I reiterate.
Thankfully her eyes pull back up to mine. “Why are you here?”
“For you. For us. Why else?”
“You made it chandelier clear yesterday that whatever was between us wasn’t anything more than a romp in the sack.”
“I was lying, Maxx.”
“Oh yeah?” She grips her own body tighter. “How do I know you were lying then and you aren’t lying now?”
“Trust me?”
“Trust you?” The mocking in her tone is deserved but hurts regardless. “You want me to trust the bullshit that comes out of your mouth when you lie to me every chance you get?”
“I haven’t lied to you yet!”
“Oh, so I was just another mark on the scoreboard?”
“I lied then!” The irritation starting to build all over again. “But that’s it. That’s the only time I lied to you, Maxx.”
“Yeah right.”
I point a finger at her. “That’s the problem! You’re always assuming something about me!”
“I know you, Logan!” she shouts back. “I know you better than you know your fucking self! You only eat gummy bears in the winter because that’s when bears hibernate. You only buy white socks because you’re too damn lazy to separate them come laundry day. You hate watching chick flicks, but you cried at The Fault in Our Stars.”
Blow me. That was a really sad movie.
“I’ve known you better than anyone else since the first night you told me your old man put a welt on the back of your neck the size of a quarter. So yeah, Logan, I can safely assume some shit.”
With a deep sigh I shake my head. “But you were wrong. I wasn’t out fucking around. I wasn’t out looking for my next quick score. For once in my life, I was trying to do the right thing, Maxx! And I wanna do the right thing with you! Tell me! Tell me how do I make this better? How do I make this right?”
Caught off guard she stutters, “I-I-I-I don’t know!”
Uncomfortably I ask, “You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know? Are you trying to tell me this can’t be fixed?”
“I didn’t say that—”
“Then what are you saying?”
“I don’t know what to say! God, this is so much easier in books!”
“Is that what you want? You want me to say something cheesy and corny like they do in those stupid books you read?”
Having returned from sad to pissed off she stomps her foot at me. “Yes!”
“Fine!” My body moves forward backing hers against the door. Looking down into her eyes I confess, “Maxx…you are my entire life. My first thought in the morning is you. It doesn’t matter if I’m alone or have some chick in my bed, my day begins and ends with you. It always has, and hell it probably always will. I live my entire life for you. I breathe for you, Maxx. I take another breath so that you never have to go a day without me. So that I can protect you. So that I can make you smile.
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