father
chastised.
“Right, I
forgot. I was raised better than that, but you know what?
That daughter of yours died the day her boyfriend was murdered! The
day everything went to shit, the day my whole fucking perfect life
got turned upside down. I’m sorry that I’m not that person anymore,
but I’m not going to suddenly get better just because I talked to a
guy.” I took a deep breath before I continued my angry rant. “That
girl you knew, she’s gone, and she’s not coming back. I wish you’d
all get used to it and stop reading something out of nothing. This
guy,” I pointed at Ashton, “he’ll be gone soon, just like all the
others, and then you’ll be wondering what all the fucking fuss was
about,” I growled, turning on my heel and walking out, leaving them
all sitting there, staring after me with open mouths.
I stormed off
to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me and making it rattle on
its hinges. Throwing myself down on the bed, I buried my face into
a pillow and screamed until my throat was hoarse. I hated that they
assumed things that I could never give. I hated that they still
expected me to suddenly get over it and move on. I couldn’t move
on, and I didn’t even want to try.
After a little
while my stomach growled angrily, obviously chastising me for not
waiting until after dinner before making my scene. I sighed and
shook my head before getting up and searching out my sketchpad and
charcoal before settling on the floor.
Sometime later,
there was a knock at my door. “Go away!” I shouted.
Without
permission, the door opened and Ashton walked in, smiling
sheepishly. “Hey, I know you said go away but I’ve got something
for you.”
I scowled at
the intrusion. “Unless it’s a bottle of vodka, I don’t want
it.”
“It’s better
than a bottle of vodka,” he replied.
My interest was
now piqued. “Really, what is it?”
He smiled and
sat down next to me, crossing his long legs. He brought his arm out
from behind his back and plopped a plate down in front of me. I
gasped when I saw what it was, my mouth already filling with saliva
at the thought of it. Chocolate fudge cake.
“You should’ve
stuck around, the food was good,” he teased, smiling at me.
I burst into a
fit of embarrassed giggles. “I’m really sorry about that, I can’t
believe they did that, and then I said – well, you heard what I
said. I’m sorry,” I apologised, grimacing.
He shrugged
easily. “Hey, it could have been worse; at least you said I was a
good fuck.”
Another round
of giggles escaped as my face flamed with heat. “Sorry,” I muttered
when I regained control of myself.
“No probs. I
thought your dad was gonna kill me though. The look on his face!”
he winced, shaking his head but looking amused at the same
time.
“What did they
say about me when I left?” I asked, cutting a chunk off the cake
he’d brought.
“Not much, it
was a little awkward. They mostly apologised for jumping to
conclusions. They mean well; they’re just worried about you. I
think they’re hoping that you’re going to get better, that there’s
some magical cure out there and that one day you’re going to wake
up and be their little girl again.”
“I’m not that
girl anymore,” I muttered, eating the last mouthful of cake.
“I know that. I
think they got their hopes up though.”
I nodded. I
knew they wanted a quick fix, but I needed them to understand that
I was broken and that no amount of fixing would ever make me right.
There was always going to be a piece missing. Ashton cleared his
throat.
“Listen, I’m
sorry about earlier. What I did in the gym, I shouldn’t have done
that, and I promise I’ll never do it again. It’s just that you were
upset and I wanted to comfort you. It just happened, that’s all. I
didn’t mean anything by it,” he said uncomfortably.
“Let’s just
forget it, okay?” I suggested, shrugging it off.
He smiled
gratefully. “Thanks.” He looked down and
chastised.
“Right, I
forgot. I was raised better than that, but you know what?
That daughter of yours died the day her boyfriend was murdered! The
day everything went to shit, the day my whole fucking perfect life
got turned upside down. I’m sorry that I’m not that person anymore,
but I’m not going to suddenly get better just because I talked to a
guy.” I took a deep breath before I continued my angry rant. “That
girl you knew, she’s gone, and she’s not coming back. I wish you’d
all get used to it and stop reading something out of nothing. This
guy,” I pointed at Ashton, “he’ll be gone soon, just like all the
others, and then you’ll be wondering what all the fucking fuss was
about,” I growled, turning on my heel and walking out, leaving them
all sitting there, staring after me with open mouths.
I stormed off
to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me and making it rattle on
its hinges. Throwing myself down on the bed, I buried my face into
a pillow and screamed until my throat was hoarse. I hated that they
assumed things that I could never give. I hated that they still
expected me to suddenly get over it and move on. I couldn’t move
on, and I didn’t even want to try.
After a little
while my stomach growled angrily, obviously chastising me for not
waiting until after dinner before making my scene. I sighed and
shook my head before getting up and searching out my sketchpad and
charcoal before settling on the floor.
Sometime later,
there was a knock at my door. “Go away!” I shouted.
Without
permission, the door opened and Ashton walked in, smiling
sheepishly. “Hey, I know you said go away but I’ve got something
for you.”
I scowled at
the intrusion. “Unless it’s a bottle of vodka, I don’t want
it.”
“It’s better
than a bottle of vodka,” he replied.
My interest was
now piqued. “Really, what is it?”
He smiled and
sat down next to me, crossing his long legs. He brought his arm out
from behind his back and plopped a plate down in front of me. I
gasped when I saw what it was, my mouth already filling with saliva
at the thought of it. Chocolate fudge cake.
“You should’ve
stuck around, the food was good,” he teased, smiling at me.
I burst into a
fit of embarrassed giggles. “I’m really sorry about that, I can’t
believe they did that, and then I said – well, you heard what I
said. I’m sorry,” I apologised, grimacing.
He shrugged
easily. “Hey, it could have been worse; at least you said I was a
good fuck.”
Another round
of giggles escaped as my face flamed with heat. “Sorry,” I muttered
when I regained control of myself.
“No probs. I
thought your dad was gonna kill me though. The look on his face!”
he winced, shaking his head but looking amused at the same
time.
“What did they
say about me when I left?” I asked, cutting a chunk off the cake
he’d brought.
“Not much, it
was a little awkward. They mostly apologised for jumping to
conclusions. They mean well; they’re just worried about you. I
think they’re hoping that you’re going to get better, that there’s
some magical cure out there and that one day you’re going to wake
up and be their little girl again.”
“I’m not that
girl anymore,” I muttered, eating the last mouthful of cake.
“I know that. I
think they got their hopes up though.”
I nodded. I
knew they wanted a quick fix, but I needed them to understand that
I was broken and that no amount of fixing would ever make me right.
There was always going to be a piece missing. Ashton cleared his
throat.
“Listen, I’m
sorry about earlier. What I did in the gym, I shouldn’t have done
that, and I promise I’ll never do it again. It’s just that you were
upset and I wanted to comfort you. It just happened, that’s all. I
didn’t mean anything by it,” he said uncomfortably.
“Let’s just
forget it, okay?” I suggested, shrugging it off.
He smiled
gratefully. “Thanks.” He looked down and
Similar Books
