He dropped the boy’s head back to the
cobblestones with a thud, then winced, hoping he hadn’t cracked his skull.
“Or he was , until you just
split his head open.” His partner summarized.
“He’s just resting.” He glanced up
at her again. “I think the kidnapping really took a lot out of the poor little
lamb.”
“You’d think he’d be used to it.”
Ransom observed. “Hell, this is the second time we’ve kidnapped him and
we barely know him. Imagine how many times people who actually give a shit
about him abduct him.”
Uriah pursed his lips in thought.
“I don’t get the sense that too many people do care about the lad
though, so I think it probably has more to do with good victim selection on our
part, rather than any predisposition on his.”
“His sister cares about him.”
Ransom said ominously. “And her giant.”
Uriah made a face. “Oh, they’re
the ones who caused this whole thing.” He pointed at Ryle. “Their fiendish duplicity
forced our hand!” He slapped the back of his hand into his palm. “Again!”
“Huh.” She sounded dubious.
“You disagree?” He put his hands
on his hips indignantly. “Surely you can’t be insinuating that this is somehow my fault.”
“Let’s just say you’d better not
call me as a character witness when this goes to trial, because…”
“I want it to go to trial,”
he declared with complete conviction, “so that I can clear my good name and
receive an apology for the vile slanders which have been spewed upon me by my
cold-hearted accusers!” He slammed his fist into his palm again. “I will be
vindicated!”
Ransom ignored him, continuing her
thought. “…I think I’ll just tell them what I remember happening, which
was that you started walking down the docks, looking for the ship in order to
hire it for our little treasure hunting excursion, saw Ryle walking the other
way, and you both panicked. He took off at a run in the other direction, you
chased after him because his sister—the new queen of this land — and
her very large husband told you specifically to never ever, ever return
to their kingdom, and you were afraid that the Swab was going to tell them
about your unauthorized visit here and sound some sort of alarm. You then
proceeded to scream at each other about who had been following whom, until you
both worked yourselves up into even more of a panic, at which point he tried to
run and you decked him, knocking him down a flight of stairs.” She pointed to
the unconscious man and gestured to the exterior staircase they were standing on.
“Which brings us up to date.” She shook her head. “And, just for the record,
you are not going to represent us at trial. You’re already the pirate
who’s murdered the Queen’s brother, adding perjury and innumerable procedural
crimes in court to that list is simply out of the question.”
“I didn’t murder anyone!” He
defended passionately, then paused. “Except that fellow on the transport ship…
but even you have to admit that he had it coming.”
She shrugged, unable to argue that
point.
He tapped his fingers on the
banister, trying to formulate a plan. “Any ideas?” He asked her seriously.
“I’m thinking we’ll need to somehow
conquer time travel and go back to an hour ago to keep you from being an
idiot.”
He chuckled. “Oh, you’ll have to
go a lot further back than that to keep me from being an idiot, Dove.”
They both laughed pleasantly.
He frowned down at the boy again. “Red
or Black?”
“Black.” She waved a disinterested
hand at the unconscious man. “Just leave’em.”
“We can’t do that!” He pointed
down to the bruises forming on Ryle’s head and body. “He’s injured.”
“So… you want to take him to a
doctor?” She sounded surprised. “Really? You? ”
“No!” He scoffed at that ludicrous
notion. “I meant that if he’s found
cobblestones with a thud, then winced, hoping he hadn’t cracked his skull.
“Or he was , until you just
split his head open.” His partner summarized.
“He’s just resting.” He glanced up
at her again. “I think the kidnapping really took a lot out of the poor little
lamb.”
“You’d think he’d be used to it.”
Ransom observed. “Hell, this is the second time we’ve kidnapped him and
we barely know him. Imagine how many times people who actually give a shit
about him abduct him.”
Uriah pursed his lips in thought.
“I don’t get the sense that too many people do care about the lad
though, so I think it probably has more to do with good victim selection on our
part, rather than any predisposition on his.”
“His sister cares about him.”
Ransom said ominously. “And her giant.”
Uriah made a face. “Oh, they’re
the ones who caused this whole thing.” He pointed at Ryle. “Their fiendish duplicity
forced our hand!” He slapped the back of his hand into his palm. “Again!”
“Huh.” She sounded dubious.
“You disagree?” He put his hands
on his hips indignantly. “Surely you can’t be insinuating that this is somehow my fault.”
“Let’s just say you’d better not
call me as a character witness when this goes to trial, because…”
“I want it to go to trial,”
he declared with complete conviction, “so that I can clear my good name and
receive an apology for the vile slanders which have been spewed upon me by my
cold-hearted accusers!” He slammed his fist into his palm again. “I will be
vindicated!”
Ransom ignored him, continuing her
thought. “…I think I’ll just tell them what I remember happening, which
was that you started walking down the docks, looking for the ship in order to
hire it for our little treasure hunting excursion, saw Ryle walking the other
way, and you both panicked. He took off at a run in the other direction, you
chased after him because his sister—the new queen of this land — and
her very large husband told you specifically to never ever, ever return
to their kingdom, and you were afraid that the Swab was going to tell them
about your unauthorized visit here and sound some sort of alarm. You then
proceeded to scream at each other about who had been following whom, until you
both worked yourselves up into even more of a panic, at which point he tried to
run and you decked him, knocking him down a flight of stairs.” She pointed to
the unconscious man and gestured to the exterior staircase they were standing on.
“Which brings us up to date.” She shook her head. “And, just for the record,
you are not going to represent us at trial. You’re already the pirate
who’s murdered the Queen’s brother, adding perjury and innumerable procedural
crimes in court to that list is simply out of the question.”
“I didn’t murder anyone!” He
defended passionately, then paused. “Except that fellow on the transport ship…
but even you have to admit that he had it coming.”
She shrugged, unable to argue that
point.
He tapped his fingers on the
banister, trying to formulate a plan. “Any ideas?” He asked her seriously.
“I’m thinking we’ll need to somehow
conquer time travel and go back to an hour ago to keep you from being an
idiot.”
He chuckled. “Oh, you’ll have to
go a lot further back than that to keep me from being an idiot, Dove.”
They both laughed pleasantly.
He frowned down at the boy again. “Red
or Black?”
“Black.” She waved a disinterested
hand at the unconscious man. “Just leave’em.”
“We can’t do that!” He pointed
down to the bruises forming on Ryle’s head and body. “He’s injured.”
“So… you want to take him to a
doctor?” She sounded surprised. “Really? You? ”
“No!” He scoffed at that ludicrous
notion. “I meant that if he’s found
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